rants Haters/Complainers: Legacy of Spleen

[discolé monade]

facebook can eat a bag of dicks. 

i call out a racist and i get b&

[1pooh4u]

13 minutes ago, discolé monade said:

facebook can eat a bag of dicks. 

i call out a racist and i get b&

That’s how Facebook works. They know what they’re doing. 

[André Toulon]

2 hours ago, discolé monade said:

facebook can eat a bag of dicks. 

i call out a racist and i get b&

You sure it wasn't here...getting harder to keep up

[Seight]

Two stick figures in SWAT gear: "Hey, you gotta go to work again tomorrow, and also there's two other jobs next week that are 135k pieces each"

Me, hiding behind a table holding a Super Soaker: "I HATE THE MEDICARE PROVIDER, I HATE THE MEDICARE PROVIDER!" 

[1pooh4u]

My life is out of control. Took a look around, my calendar says “August” the food labels say “September” but my phone just told me it’s October 9th.  Complete chaos, and that’s just the tip. 

Edited October 9, 2021 by 1pooh4u

[SwimModSponges]

Speaking of calendars, I can't stop writing october as 8.

I comm logged something at work the other day about members of my team switching shifts this weekend and I wrote it as 8/9 and 8/10.

Oct = 8 goddamn it.

[SwimModSponges]

Chewed the hell out of my cheek in my sleep last night.

[DragonSinger]

NO! We are not calling it baked cookie dough. It's just a fucking cookie after you bake it!

[viperxmns]

Just over a month ago we lost our older cat (still only 12) to motherfucking cancer. Losing him has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through. I'm just praying all this pain and anxiety will dissipate, havent been able to get much work done lately, fucked up in other ways also, just a big lump of stress upon stress, been trying to breathe and drinking a lot of tea, some paranoia on the brain also though, this has been a terrible weird inconsistent ride please let me off

All of the crying is cathartic at least but one wonders when it will taper

[SwimModSponges]

Elderly musicians coming back with new material.

Its like, are your retirement funds getting low and you're just looking to make a quick buck?

Because its certainly not out of love for the music or you just felt the inspiration. 

Your new song is beyond generic. It could have been written for and performed by literally any of these poprock teenyboppers they got these days.

Seeing your 70 year old ass dressed up in full goth wandering around in the desert and singing lyrics that sound like they were originally pitched to bill eyelash but regected due to lacking creativity is honestly more depressing than anything.

Gary newman, my name is ruin.

Yeah i'm calling you out.

[SwimModSponges]

We as a species are missing a huge opportunity not fully domesticating rats.

They're already almost self-domesticating animals like pigeons anyways so it shouldn't be that hard.

They've got relatively quick lifecycles so selectively breeding them for a few generations could be done pretty easy.

Plus they're pretty dang smart.

Imagine how useful they could be.

[katt_goddess]

Found a toy the neicelette has been insane for but has been hard-to-find and ordered it early to be delivered to their place so it could be hidden until the holiday reveal [ it's way the hell too heavy for me to keep here and then haul to the post office later ].

FedEx showed up on the date promised. 

And then promptly pitched a huge cardboard box outside the house in the pouring rain and left it there without even knocking on the door to alert people there was a delivery. Absolutely destroyed. 

Thanks a bunch, FkdUp. You better hope it can be replaced in time considering what a bitch it was to get one in the first damn place. 

[Le Guignon]

Met someone with the name 'Christle' today and it physically hurt to write it on the dry erase board.  

[Seight]

Okay, new plan: Gaslight myself into thinking I don't like football so I don't keep getting annoyed that I have to go to work on Saturdays.

[wacky1980]

haven't even thought of using any of my private trackers for months. finally came up with something i wanted this afternoon, and every fucking tracker is down. 

[katt_goddess]

I heard CHRISTMAS MUSIC in a store today. 

Burn in hell, holi-dorks.

[GuyBeardmane]

11 minutes ago, katt_goddess said:

I heard CHRISTMAS MUSIC in a store today. 

Burn in hell, holi-dorks.

[katt_goddess]

1 minute ago, GuyBeardmane said:

First glance and I always think that display in the background is a TARDIS.

It's OCTOBER 16th! Take that holiday shit and shove it up your butt for another 15 days at the very least. 

Also, both those figures have life-sized kung-fu grips.

[Raptorpat]

dead bug in unopened spaghetti

 

 

I guess we'll starve

[GuyBeardmane]

2 hours ago, Raptorpat said:

dead bug in unopened spaghetti

Mom's already

[André Toulon]

For about 4 years, DHS has been 🤙 ng my phone, asking for some bitch named Jennifer. For 3 years I have politely informed them that this is no longer Jennifer's number and requested they stop calling me....for 1 year, I have vocally melted any poor soul who's job it is to harass anyone unfortunate enough to obtain that number.

At my wit's end, I have just told the agent, Amber that I will be by there at lunch so she can call Jennifer while I stand there and stare at her, ignoring my ringing phone, as I give her the option to remove my fucking number from her list or I liberate her paste coated tongue from her slimy, disease ridden cum collector. 

As the time approaches, I indeed plan to stop and make my request in person but now I figure this is a bad plan to actually show up and request a federal employee by name hours after making a verbal threat of violence....

Guess I'll wait a week or 2.....but this is harassment and I don....

.....what do they even want ...can you owe DHS money... I doubt that's what this is about, but who stalks a person for 4 years unless they owe money

Edited October 22, 2021 by André Toulon

[katt_goddess]

1 hour ago, André Toulon said:

For about 4 years, DHS has been 🤙 ng my phone, asking for some bitch named Jennifer. For 3 years I have politely informed them that this is no longer Jennifer's number and requested they stop calling me....for 1 year, I have vocally melted any poor soul who's job it is to harass anyone unfortunate enough to obtain that number.

 

I would get texts and calls for the last person who had my number. The only one I was polite to was for the place where she worked which apparently had 20 supervisors and no one capable of updating her number. That one eventually worked itself out.

But the one that kept texting over and over [ some car thing - not warranty ] even after being told that's not her number anymore, finally sent a text that ' [ x ] is in my freezer in tiny little pieces and you are next if you text this number one more time' . Haven't had a peep from them since. 

My landline, on the other hand, gets constant ring / hang ups because I let the machine answer it and all the scam artists are scared to leave an actual message. Kiss my answering machine, losers. 

[SwimModSponges]

Day bow-bow.

Stuck in my head for days now.

Chicka-chi-ka!

[Nabreezy]

On 10/22/2021 at 1:57 PM, katt_goddess said:

My landline

Your what

[SwimModSponges]

Had to park on the street last night when I got home because they were finishing up painting my house.

At about 3am i remembered that i forgot to pull back into the driveway after they left.

So i figure i'll go out there this morning to find a parking ticket.

Nope.

Car was egged. 

[mthor]

Well, the good news is that the pediatric covid vaccine has finally been released, and DeeDee and Dexter are on the waiting list at the pediatrician. The bad news is, nobody seems to have any idea about how long it's going to take to get it. 

[Chapinator_X]

I know this year is shit because now I have to share the bisexuality label with Joe Budden and Mineta from Hero Academia. 

[DragonSinger]

On 11/5/2021 at 9:32 AM, Chapinator_X said:

I know this year is shit because now I have to share the bisexuality label with Joe Budden and Mineta from Hero Academia. 

Even if Budden was supposedly joking, he sounded really comfortable saying it. But that's okay, if he secretly meant it, a statement has already been put together:

Why this booster shot gotta hurt my shoulder so much?

[Chapinator_X]

1 hour ago, DragonSinger said:

Even if Budden was supposedly joking, he sounded really comfortable saying it. But that's okay, if he secretly meant it, a statement has already been put together:

Why this booster shot gotta hurt my shoulder so much?

Last year, it was confirmed that “Pump it Up” was an ode to his dog.

Because I’m not at high risk, I’ll have to wait on the booster since only people 65 or higher have been cleared to get it in my hell-state. 

[SwimModSponges]

Well I was excited to get an extra hour today, looks like I got it last night while I was sleeping.

Damn.

[SwimModSponges]

Its November and we still have mosquitoes. 

Thats pretty fucked up.

[Seight]

We have made progress on the newest set of mailouts for the Medicare provider from a previous rant^*

^{*both "we got another region's mailing done" and "my coworker also believes the job is cursed now"}

[Chapinator_X]

I swear, whoever composed the songs for the GoogleFi ads set out to make some of the most godawful music ever conceived. 

[mthor]

Just read an article about rabbis debating whether plant-based "pork" is kosher. The little old Jewish lady who I used to eat brunch with would have been fascinated with the discussion. Rest in peace, Lily. I miss you.

[rpgamer]

Holy hell. This is an income restricted apartment complex. And they just replaced all the laundry machines in their facility with ones that only take payment via smartphone app. Even if my phone could scan the codes or whatever (it might, but I've never fucked with that), I don't have a mobile internet data plan, so I have no internet in the laundry facility, and thus, cannot do laundry.

How the fuck these assheads not going to give any consideration to accessibility? Shit outta luck if you don't have a device that can interact with these things.

[Seight]

You know what's SO MUCH FUN! Taking a break at work around 4 PM to call in a water bill that's due by 4:30 because someone at a third-party payroll management company set the direct deposit on your check wrong because of the holiday last week, so it hits your bank account at 3:30 PM instead of 7-8 AM like it usually does!

[wacky1980]

When you have to call the IRS and work on some tax filing bullshit, on a deadline. And you've been on hold for a FUCKING HOUR. 😡

[Seight]

On 10/8/2021 at 8:02 PM, Seight said:

Two stick figures in SWAT gear: "Hey, you gotta go to work again tomorrow, and also there's two other jobs next week that are 135k pieces each"

Me, hiding behind a table holding a Super Soaker: "I HATE THE MEDICARE PROVIDER, I HATE THE MEDICARE PROVIDER!" 

 

On 10/15/2021 at 8:57 PM, Seight said:

Okay, new plan: Gaslight myself into thinking I don't like football so I don't keep getting annoyed that I have to go to work on Saturdays.

 

On 11/11/2021 at 7:01 PM, Seight said:

We have made progress on the newest set of mailouts for the Medicare provider from a previous rant^*

^{*both "we got another region's mailing done" and "my coworker also believes the job is cursed now"}

Me, after finally, FINALLY, finishing all this shit earlier this afternoon:

[mthor]

I think I hate fondant. 

[Kudasai]

Why hasn't chitterlings gotten canceled?

[katt_goddess]

1 hour ago, mthor said:

I think I hate fondant. 

Playing with or eating? Because it's not a food no matter how edible it appears. Play-Doh is more edible. Fondant is a LIE.

I want ice cream for my owies but only have squid jerky. Squid jerky is not a substitute for ice creams. 

[mthor]

11 hours ago, katt_goddess said:

Playing with or eating? Because it's not a food no matter how edible it appears. Play-Doh is more edible. Fondant is a LIE.

I want ice cream for my owies but only have squid jerky. Squid jerky is not a substitute for ice creams. 

I think it's the whole idea of fondant - baking a yummy cake and filling it with something delicious, only to cover it with spackle seems kind of pointless (can you tell that I've been binging holiday baking shows?)

Edited November 19, 2021 by mthor

[Kudasai]

I hate this time of year 

[DragonSinger]

When the fuck did Initial D Fourth Stage go out of print?

[mthor]

"American Indian?"

wtf, Press Ganey? 

[Vamped]

Why can't I watch the news without first watching 5 ads? 

These ads are getting stupid out of hand. Me and the miniature tried to watch one of the Thanksgiving parades but I got annoyed at all the commercials. There even commercials in the actual parade. 

 

[Kudasai]

People suck, that is all 

[Seight]

Am I a bad person for laughing at the part in the Apple commercial where the bicyclist absolutely TRUCKS the snowman?

I probably am.

[Vamped]

Can we ... fucking stop with these school shootings??!!

 

Stop with the shootings in general

 

Stop with the violence in general. 

 

Stop the mitigating factors that cause school shootings? 

 

Just fucking overhaul the whole school system

 

.... the whole country

 

everything?! 

 

 

 

[SwimModSponges]

If you took me outside today and asked me what month it is based on the temperature, i'd say early April. 

Thanks al gore.