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*checks thread* Nice, nobody posted it yet:

Are you gonna give them 2 handjobs simultaneously like Donald Trump whenever he dances .... because thats what I came to see.

Ghosty is impressionable and your posting is irresponsible

Welp she got booted off the committees and she pissed off her bffs. She broke QCode!

Went on a backpacking trip for 1 night and 9mi hike with a bunch of white college students.

so i'm like 2 days late getting this shit done, but idgaf. we lost our accountant for the corporation that owns our bars, back in the start of covid. i've been completely on my own in handling payroll and wage reporting. needless to say, there was a bit of a learning curve to overcome. last week i was trying to get shit wrapped up so i could cut everyone their w-2 forms, and i realized our old accountant had fucked up A LOT of old filings. so i've spent the last week figuring out exactly what she borked, then filing amended 941 returns for every.fucking.quarter of 2020. this morning, i got all of the penalties and shortages figured out, finished up the federal unemployment filing, and cut every last god damn one of those w-2 forms. and i even submitted our w-3 up to ssa. payroll 2020 is FUCKING DONE and now i need a cocktail to celebrate. next on the list: corporate income tax return. this one might be a tad over my head...

Fast Forward to 40 years in the future, The Rock is on his death bed Science still hasn't found a cure for your giant penis-itis and you accidentally get a boner one day and the blood can't get back to your brain fast enough giving you only 10 days to live Make a Wish makes an exception for you even though you're old as balls and you roll your modified wheel chair with a wheel barrel attached to front into The Rocks room Mix- "WTF WERE YOU COOKING ALL THESE YEARS?" The Rock- "Come closer" Due to your awkward dimensions of your wheel chair they have to move The Rock's bed sideways so this is possible *The Rock struggles to lift his head to your ear The Rock- "Closer." *You then move within awkwardly close distance of an old person where your ear is like a mil inch from that weird white stuff they have on the corners of their mouth The Rock- "You" His Hospital bed suddenly starts whirring and moving back and forth across the room rapidly and then he proceeds to People's Elbow you The Nurses help him back onto his bed at which point he hits a green button (Jurassic Park style) too weak to do the eyebrow raise and having planned for it, a robotic arm comes out of the bed and tapes one of his eyebrows up, the bed then shoots out the window while fireworks begin shooting out from it in mass display of awesome. The Rock planned to splat into the building next door, and he dies on impact, but he doesn't splat, no. He's still so massive he's shoots through the cheaply contracted wall, and through at least 2-3 more floors before finally coming to a rest on the new interns desk I'm going to be honest, I lost my train of thought after the first sentence

Are you saying our circlejerks meant nothing to you?

He must have really hated his lungs when his doctors told him they were black.

Literally

he wasn't. he was the worst. fuck you for clicking this, thinking i was serious.

Lost 84lbs

Packard. /thread.

Discount Buffalo Bill wants to testify against Trump at the impeachment trial. https://www.vice.com/en/article/jgqkak/the-qanon-shaman-just-flipped-on-trump

yes

That ... escalated quickly

"Continued inconsistency" is a weird way to say "advancements in understanding." And saying "we can't do the most effective thing because it's impractical, so we shouldn't expect people to take a step as simple as wearing two masks" is really not a strong comparison. "It's cold AF out- the best solution would be to not go outside all winter, but we can't do that. People aren't going to wear a jacket and a sweater, even though that would help." You're saying that the people who've acted like selfish dicks are going to act like selfish dicks, so now everybody is going to act like selfish dicks because the selfish dicks are being selfish dicks to the people who know what they're talking about.

@Vamped