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Rate The Last Movie You Saw


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  • 3 weeks later...

Underwater 7/10 (Nothing that special about it, but I love a good monster movie, and while most of the ones I've seen lately have disappointed, this one did not.)

Weathering With You 10/10 (I know lots of other people may disagree, but I liked the story for this better than Your Name's quite frankly. Of course the animation was incredible and gorgeous, as you would expect from any movie from Makoto Shinkai. This is probably my favorite movie of his to date; although, it seems like I say that every time he comes out with a new movie, heh.)

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Year in Review!

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker: 6.5/10. Better than the last one, but just doesn't have the charm of the original trilogy.
6 Underground: 6/10
Jumanji: The Next Level: 6/10. The Rock pretending to be Danny Devito is bad.
Knives Out: 8/10. Probably my favorite movie of the year.
The Good Liar: 7.5/10. It's no lie that this was good. 😬
Joker: 8/10. I just hope this doesn't somehow lead to a Riddler movie.
Jeungin (Innocent Witness): 7.5/10
Samurai Sensei: 4/10
The Dark Crystal: 6/10
Ad Astra: 5.5/10
Rambo: Last Blood: 6/10
Angel Has Fallen: 6/10
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood: 7.5/10. What an ending.
Hobbs & Shaw: 6/10
Stuber: 5/10
Spider-Man: Far From Home: 5/10. Nonsensical plot relies on profound stupidity and giant plot holes.
Anna: 6/10
Laplace's Witch: 6/10
Dark Phoenix: 5/10
Avengement: 6/10
John Wick 3: 7/10
Defective Pikachu: 5.5/10
Avengers: Endgame: 7/10
Hellboy: 6/10
Shazam: 6/10
Abduction: 4/10
Captain Marvel: 7/10
Polar: 7/10
Holmes & Watson: 4/10. Why was this made?
Vice: 7/10

(10 - Once in a lifetime, 9 - Amazing, 8 - Very good, 7 - Good, 6 - Okay, 5 - Meh)

Edited by panic
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Star Wars - The rise of Skywalker 3/10

Really wasn't expecting even bronze by this point let alone gold, but my god did no thought go into this movie. 

Spoiler

There's this whole sub plot about getting this ancient sith artifact that you have to line up goonies style with the wreckage of the death star, in order to find Darth Sidious. Which is really dumb in it's own way, until you think for two seconds and realize that Darth Sidious would have had to have made this ancient artifact himself, hid it away in a sith temple, then hope that the death star crashes in a very specific way and doesn't get fucked up by ocean waves for his plan to be found to work. Even then why not just be like send out an envoy to bring them to you. They want to get to you anyway it doesn't have to be this fucking contrived. It gets worse form there, but that part annoyed me the most because it treated the death star wreckage as something that should match up with a fucking sith artifact. 

The Grudge 2020 1/10 

This one just sucked. I was the only person in the theater watching this shit to. The ghosts really suck in this, and the characters all just suck. One part early one feels like it's going to be interesting, until really shitty writing steps in and throws a bunch of telegraphed jumpscares in.  Really the best and only scare in the whole film is shown in the trailer. The ghosts though just don't make sense. Like they all do the crackling noise even though they didn't have their necks broken. The ghost family made no sense in this one. The film starts out that the mother is in Japan being a nurse and is haunted by Kiyako for all of 4 seconds. Then she goes home and the cut away is that she kills her family when she gets home. Also we don't see Kiyako ever again in the film. From what I knew her powers didn't extend into possessing people to kill their family. Her whole MO was going into her house means you, and only you are going to die. Kiyako's death in the original Grudge made sense for her to become spiteful. Her husband assumed she was having an affair with a teacher and he kills his wife and child, and cat, and the teachers pregnant wife. Before going back to the house and either hanging himself or being killed by Kiyako's spirit. Not just; oh ghosts work on zombie rules, so if you are killed by one you become one. Not to mention the movie just moves slow. The padded piece of shit felt like I was sitting though a damn harry potter film in terms of length despite only being 90mins.  I liked the idea of having 3.5 stories that all linked together, but the ghosts just sucked. We get far to much focus on them at times and it removes anything creepy from them. One is just a guy trying to sell the house talking to a little ghost girl on the couch, who only does ghost shit when he looks away, but it goes on for like 10 fucking minutes. She coughs up blood at one point while he's on the phone and that's it. Could you imagine a Jason or Freddy film where they just sit on the fucking couch and do nothing for 10mins. Them being in the room isn't scary after a point. They really missed the mark of what made the ghosts in the older films scary. Also the fx were all CGI trash. Most of the timess the ghost aren't even deformed, they just look like normal people with flesh tone skin. At best they'll use some CGI to make them look like garbage, because cake makeup is too expensive I guess at spirit halloween.  Really just avoid this one. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Birds of Prey

8.5/10

Better than Joker, a lot of fun. story well told, roles well acted. sexy, sexy women kicking ass. interestingly creepy psychotic villains. terrific humor. i gave cassandra cain a pass because, while not at all comics accurate, her character was very interesting and compelling. LOVED Black Canary, but i feel like the Canary cry was maybe underutilized. I want Huntress to slap me in the face. that's my new fetish. Solid DC movie made all the better by getting an R rating that allowed them to really push the humor up a notch and properly lean into the violence of the premise.

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Spider-Man: Far From Home - 7/10

Nice epilogue for Endgame. Enjoyed it more than Homecoming, but I'm not in love with the future of Marvel movies. To be quite honest, I wish they would just stop now. It's hard for me to imagine anything good coming post-Endgame. But hey, money. So it goes on.

 

1917 - 8/10

Loved the camera work/cinematography. A simple story executed in such a complex way, and so seamlessly, too. Incredible dedication to detail and bonkers camera rigs and set pieces. In fact, I was often marveling at the work behind the camera more than the film itself. Definitely worth a watch. 

 

Joker - 8/10

A bit at odds on this one. It's very clearly a love letter to other movies like Taxi Driver, and it's a well done film. However, I'm not entirely convinced this script was originally for a Joker movie. Removing the elements of Batman comics affect the narrative in such a trivial way I can't rightfully call it a comic book movie. That being said, even without the Batman bits it would be hard not to draw comparisons to Batman/The Joker. Was a fine movie, but left an odd taste in my mouth because it felt a bit forced to fill seats. 

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My Hero Academia: Hero Rising

7.5/10

It was fun and action packed. They tried to give everybody a little moment to Go Beyond .... but y'know ... the extras continue to be extras. I think seeing it in the theater makes it better because people were so into it so you get super into it. I actually enjoyed seeing so much diversity in the audience. It was all pretty cool.  

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Shazam - 7/10 Better than pretty much every other DC movie before it. While it was enjoyable it just didn't do much of anything to stand out. Left me with a positive impression but I'm not exactly eager to rewatch it. 

 

Sonic - 8/10 Definitely a kid's movie before anything else, but it was more akin to older Pixar movies that could be enjoyed by both children and adults for different reasons. Jim Carrey was fantastic. Stroke of genius on that casting. Felt bad for Sonic and while he was an annoying kid, it felt more like he was our annoying kid. Loved how the tongue and cheek stuff regarding the sonic fandom and the Riddick reference at the end. Solid movie. Surprised me. Would love to see another one. 

 

And thanks to @Poof for taking us to see Sonic. 

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Alita: Battle Angel - 3/10 Hated this one. The visuals were consistently off putting and just outright jarring. Some pretty stuff to be sure, but it just didn't work for me. Some points for effort though. While I'm not familiar with the story in the manga, the one in the movie was so unbelievably trite. Everything was predictable. Every bit of dialogue was bland and by the numbers. Practically no character development or real arcs. Boring cinematography and lame, unearned "emotional" moments dominated the run time. And yet audiences loved it and it did well enough to warrant a sequel. I'm back at Thor Ragnarok again, wondering how anyone could see the merit in this film and feeling like I'm taking crazy pills. 

 

I watch a lot of trash movies in my spare time. This one is actually trash. 

+1 point for a cyborg, drug addicted Johnny Rico barreling into a wheelchair bound girl so hard it killed her. 

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Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets - 3/10 Another film with source material I'm not familiar with. It was painfully obvious that there was a lot more to this universe than we got in the film. And for a movie featuring a city in the stars, filled with thousands of different aliens all working together, it sure bet on the wrong horse. The leads were so boring. Zero chemistry. Felt like the polar opposite of a romantic pairing. Absolutely jarring at times, especially considering the majority of their dialogue together was poorly written one liners/zingers. 

Valerian was a mess. Had an identity crisis, just bouncing between serious-galaxy-in-danger narratives and a shitty buddy cop mystery movie. This film was like a gorgeous display cake: beautiful and lovingly detailed but absolutely inedible. Another casualty in an ever growing list of films that were more concerned with being pretty than being actual movies. 

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Parasite - 8.5/10 I really liked the movie but can't say it lived up to all of the hype I've heard about it. 
Alita: Battle Angel - 6/10 I'm not sure if knowing the source material would make me like this more or less.
Sonic - 7/10 I would have loved this as a kid I'm sure, and now I still liked it enough to watch a sequel.
A Dangerous Place  - 6.5/10 Cheesy and even cringy a few times but I enjoyed it for what it was. (A B-grade cheesy 90s flick, kinda like Karate Kid but rated R and dumber)

 

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Forgot to mention that I saw Joker over the weekend.  It was different.  I prefer comedies over depressing gritty movies, but I still liked it.

I'd rate it 7/10 but I wouldn't want to see it again.  Also I just got back from seeing Onward - 8/10.  I liked it but it felt like it was missing something.

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Eat pray love.

4/10.

Lady goes to a psychic, cheats on her husband with a younger dude. Demands a divorce. Decides to take a trip around the world. Hangs out in rome for and misses out on a lesbian experience. Feels like she learned something. Goes to India, complains. Meets like the one interesting character in the story- spoiler alert he didn't actually run over his 8 year old so forget being interesting. Enjoys watching a teen girl go through a forced marriage. Goes to Bali, parties a lot. Decides against fucking another younger dude, decides to fuck a dude her own age a bunch instead. Happy ending.

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Onward - 5/10: I really wanted to like this one. There was potential for greatness here. I keep seeing it in these types of movies. The setting is incredibly interesting but the actual meat of the narrative is boring and predictable. Honestly only laughed once but I kept seeing instances where I could have laughed but the execution of the jokes fell flat. Literally the jokes were there but they consistently dropped the ball. 

Absolutely gorgeous film, though. Beyond the characters, everything looked amazingly lifelike. 

Sad to say that, this magical film was more smoke and mirrors than anything else. Super predictable and barely any use of magic, much less creatively. I'll give them the splinter bit, though. 

Edited by GunStarHero
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To all the boys I've ever loved 2: black guy edition 

These movies felt more like episodes of a tv show than movies, maybe its because the plot follows directly from the first to the second, i don't know. If you've never seen the first one, its sort of a modified "the taming of the shrew."

So i guess this one takes that tamed shrew and sets it free.

 

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Toy Story 4 - 7/10: Honestly thought was going to be awful. The beginning was meandering as all fuck but it got back on track and was actually kinda funny. 

This is the best Toy Story since the original, but I dont think that's saying much since I dont care for 2 or 3. That being said, beyond money, there was no reason for this film to exist. The narrative was done with 3, so this was just bizarre to behold. But I guess money is reason enough. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Parasite: 8.5/10

The story did a great job at creating tension and approaching class from an abstract perpective, but the old housekeeper and her husband were odd characters to wedge in between the working class and wealthy families. Their integration into the rich family feels far more outlandish than anything the poor family could’ve cooked up. The climax could’ve built up tension without needing to wedge the couple in as the catalyst for the events of the final scenes. I’d say it still earned the awards it got, but Snowpiercer left a stronger impression on me. 

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Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker - 4/10: I am not a big Star Wars movie fan, but this is easily the worst Star Wars movie I've ever seen. Breakneck speed in terms of pacing and yet it dragged on. Absolute mess of a plot. I looked away for a few second to grab my drink and someone had died and they moved on before I looked back. Total trash. Nothing really mattered and things were quickly resolved. One character points a gun at another's head and says "I wanna see your brains on the snow." Within two minutes she's asking him to join her on her personal journey. It matters for fuck all. Fuck D-O, fuckin' Toy Story 4, Sporky ass piece of shit. "I AM THE SPY!" WOOO DEATH TO SUBTLETY! Fuck this movie. Babu Frik was wonderful, though. 

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Network - 10/10

Spoiler

Being a twentysomething who browses the Internet more often than not, I was already very well aware of Network. Spoiled myself on the plot, spoiled myself on the ending, read the Wikipedia and TV Tropes articles, even saw a YouTube clip of Howard Beale's most famous scene. So when it came on TCM after my parents and I had dinner - one that my sister, peer-pressured to being a few ticks short of far left, was open about disliking - I thought I'd watch some of it, at least until the big rant, then head back up to do usual evening computer stuff, in this lull between the burden of the educational system and the burden of the full-time 9-to-5 workplace environment, resigning to finishing it the next time it came on TCM. But next thing I knew, 45 minutes had passed, so me and my folks saw no other choice but to watch it to the end. And boy, even knowing what laid ahead, that decision was worth it.

Above all else, this movie was prescient. Overly cynical and a little silly but still grounded within a reality where the exaggerations could easily happen - the latter of which was something I also felt Oreimo accomplished quite well despite being far from realistic in itself - Network managed to predict the future in a then-present setting. It predicted sensationalist TV. It predicted the concept of sweeps week. It predicted the goddamn Fox network! And to have seen it at my age, in this day and time and worldly situation, made it all the more captivating and downright interesting. So much so that it completely offset any disappointment I had that Howard Beale was neither the protagonist nor the main character I thought he'd be; he was merely the ensemble darkhorse, a prime example of the trope both in and out of universe, who met an end both untimely yet very much so. I will admit surprise at Howard's friend Max being the true protagonist, the ratings-autistic in a whole other sense producer Diana (portrayed beautifully by Faye Dunaway) being the true main character, their misguided romance plot taking up much of the film, and that Laureen Hobbs ("bad-ass commu-nigger", my favorite line that isn't the obvious one) and the Ecumenical Liberation Army didn't have nearly the amount of screentime their ultimate plot importance led me to believe they would have. Likewise for the fact that this movie had no soundtrack, the only music played being that in-universe (and the Network News Hour theme played over the end credits).

There's so much for me to love about this movie, all the way down to the TV-MAL rating provided by TCM that convinced me to pay attention to what was airing then and there. This movie is damn good, and deserved its Best Picture nomination and numerous Oscar wins - three for acting, one for writing. A statement as true as Beale's claim that "life is bullshit", and his eternal statement of how we feel at least once in our lives: that we're mad as hell, and we're not gonna take it anymore.

 

Edited by PokeNirvash
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On 4/4/2020 at 12:37 AM, GunStarHero said:

Onward - 5/10: I really wanted to like this one. There was potential for greatness here. I keep seeing it in these types of movies. The setting is incredibly interesting but the actual meat of the narrative is boring and predictable. Honestly only laughed once but I kept seeing instances where I could have laughed but the execution of the jokes fell flat. Literally the jokes were there but they consistently dropped the ball. 

Absolutely gorgeous film, though. Beyond the characters, everything looked amazingly lifelike. 

Sad to say that, this magical film was more smoke and mirrors than anything else. Super predictable and barely any use of magic, much less creatively. I'll give them the splinter bit, though. 

Also just watched Onward. 

Was not super excited given the reviews, but it was decent.

Better than i had thought it was going to be. 

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So, I just watched The Death of Stalin and it is a truly wonderful movie. I would give it 4.5/5. I'd definitely recommend it to anyone who either likes Steve Buscemi, comedies, history movies, or seeing Stalin die in a puddle of urine you'll like this too.

 

 

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Kagemusha - 8/10: Whenever I watch a Kurosawa film I often find myself watching it from a different perspective as I would a more contemporary, popcorn blockbuster. He just made his movies differently and it almost coerced me into looking at things in new ways. 

Now, I can certainly watch a newer film and spot beautiful cinematography or set pieces that compliment their scenes, but there's something more with Kurosawa. His work can be incredibly deliberate. Pure and purposeful angles and sets. There really isn't a lot that is particularly impressive about Kagemusha. It's pretty and there are some gorgeous sets and shots, but it's nothing that hasn't been done before or after. 

For me, this was like watching an artist at work. The narrative, while interesting, is more of a vessel for the visual feast on display. Having said that, there were core concepts here that I thought were equally, if not more powerful than the aesthetics. Seeing a man dedicate himself to a cause in the face of utter obliteration with his prize being nothing more than a silent, honorable death was great. But watching his corpse flow down a stream past a banner of his lord proclaiming the ideologies of the already dead master he once served was beautiful. It was like turning the analogy of being another brick in the wall into a sort of immortality of honorable actions while those who performed and believed in said actions lived, died, and floated on into the ether while the greater honor lived on. 

I'm trying to articulate that as best I can but it was a very thought provoking film.

What does it mean to follow someone else's footsteps if you lose yourself along the way?

What happens when you have reached the end of the beaten path without thinking on your own? Where do you go from there?

How can you find your role in life without finding yourself promoted past your competency or toiling away beneath your potential? 

Who do we serve in this life? Ourselves? Leaders? Ideals? Skewed echoes of the past? (i.e. rose colored glasses and nostalgia)

 

This film was fairly long and beautiful and deliberately shot. (And my god did I love the dream sequence.) But this is not a popcorn flick and it's not very action heavy. Kagemusha is all about scheming and provoking thoughts. If you are a fan of cinematography, philosophy or just want to take a peek at the retelling of a real story about a samurai lord, then check this one out. 

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Rambo(the new one) 7/10. It was alright. Violent but ok

Onward 7/10. Was expecting more but the ending was definently different and not what I expected. Could of thrown a leperchaun at least.

Bird of prey 8/10 cheesy jokes but they still nail. good fighting and was good the way they showed character's background without being 30 minutes long. Good watch.

Dr.Doodlittle(the RDJ one) 6/10. Was ok but never really cathces your attention. RDJ, please don't play a british man. You played a black man MUCH better.

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Baby Driver 4/10 - I really couldn't stand it. It was a mess to me, and the characters didn't make any sense. The latter is something I can handle if the movie is entertaining enough, but this movie didn't pull it off for me. It's also a pet peeve of mine when a movie focuses more on looking cool to the point it comes off very unnatural like the laundry mat scene. I'm completely distracted from what's actually going on because ermergerd, let's look at the clothes in the dryers that are super bright red, blue, and yellow.

This seriously annoyed the shit out of me:

Spoiler

original.gif

I'm also biased because I was really into garish late 90's-early 2000's crime movies that nailed the aesthetic that Baby Driver was going for.

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  • 1 month later...

Artemis Fowl - 7/10

If  you've never read the books and have no idea what you're getting into, I think its a decent movie. Having read the books though ... there are some problems and it kinda makes me think its an episode of The Odd Squad if somebody gave PBS a big ass Hollywood budget 

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On 2/18/2020 at 11:04 AM, blueraven1999 said:

The Addams Family 2019 - 9/10.

It was a pretty good film, but I wish it had voice actors voicing the characters instead of celebrities.

Celebrities are never as good as professional voice actors.

I agree with this. And this movie way exceeded my expectations. Excellent film.

 

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