ATTACK ON TITAN - "Just like someone else I know. And speak of the devil, there he is now!" I don't recognize those numbers. This is easily the most emotional Mikasa has sounded ever. It's one thing to read a spoiler, but it's another to see it play out and make fuller sense than on digital paper. Hey, I don't remember Mikasa ever getting any headaches! Now he's the one on the other side of the pen. Eh, it kinda loses something when you take out the "always"... "Curse my bodyguard instincts!" ARMIN PUNCH. And that's why he failed to crack the top 10 at graduation. Shiganshina? But we were just there! That certainly sounds like a plan alright. Hard to believe a whole month has passed in-show; out-of-show, I can understand, but... Nice hammock there, guy. Normally running and screaming would be the opposite of an effective attack strategy, but this is Zeke we're talking about. It's raining Titans, hallelujah! Surprisingly, I have no objections to the coma plan, and I base that entirely on the "only the CEO can tell me to open the door but I'm not gonna do it even though you are the CEO" clip. When you nut so hard the whole squad feel it. I know Zeke's to blame for all these Titans, but I'd be lying if I said that squad didn't bring it on themselves. Losing his entire squad four times over has really fucked Levi up emotionally. These Titan running cycles. CAN'T SLIP BY THE LEVI. You can't have a Hiroyuki Sawano soundtrack without random rap inserts. Oof, now that is what I call savagery. FUCK YEAH LEVI. 😆 By gawd, he's got no nose! SHIT COUNT: 2 for act 1, 2 for act 2, 4 total. Ugh, random twitching jaw. Nice to see that even though so many characters have changed, Shardis is still the same hardass as always. Goddammit Floch. Ha, you suck at shooting more than you thought you would. Again, goddammit Floch. "Damn, wasn't expecting them to go full Office Space on me..." Bitch you look like a cut of wagyu steak. "I'm not cleaning that up, no matter how much I want to." Correction, that is savagery. Ah, so the glasses were a sentimental thing, like with Kabuto. Oh shit, unabridged Zeke backstory next week.
FOOD WARS - If only anyone in this show had the guts to punch this main campus-lookin' douche in the face. For a bunch of hired thugs, they really suck at the whole "breaking and entering" thing. Soma keeping his head up works just as well, if only because it pisses this dude off he can't even speak. It's gonna be the most goddamn aromatic gyoza you'll ever eat, so much so you can't even bring yourself to vote the other way! Rindo is the best. "You say something, fucker?" This guy's so repugnant even Kunugigaoka main campus would think he's going too far. Oh if only they had thought to bring raincoats! Oh, I almost forgot Erina and Hisako were even there. Ah shit, the glasses are comin' off. Yeah, yeah, suck the guy's dick more, why don'tcha? SLOW AND LOW. Buuuuuurn. "Intellectual ganster" does describe his look pretty well. Even as a little kid he was a total dick. "No other man is more suited for such a title!" Except for this guy. Huh, that's kind of a creative way of going about it. Of course she's gonna eat some, it's not like this episode has an explicit sexual content subrating for no reason. All I see is this guy bending himself backwards trying to justify his bought vote. Not gonna lie, I do like the rice dome. Cowmangai? I understand we're well into where the manga's food advisor dropped off, but at least it's still sounding like it makes sense. In other words, he's chickening out. 😝 I don't know if I'll venture into a theater to see this movie, but if Toonami gets Demon Slayer S2, I'm definitely watching it first. Eh, cheese on wings just doesn't sound right, even if it probably exists out there somewhere. Huh, so they actually do plan on trying it, aromatic or not, if only out of spite for Soma. This dude's face game is nothing short of ridiculous, but for it to turn red on top of that... that must mean something. THIS IS ABSURD. Aromatics, motherfucker, I toldja. COCK A MOTHER FUCKIN DOODLE DOO. Ketchup's an overhated condiment, and I refuse to take that statement back. And as ridiculous as it being the game-changer is, the multitude of complements it triggered does feel more down-to-earth. Strange, yes, but never a dull moment. Oh Erina, you so tsun-tsun. If there's any food that's acidic, it's tomato. It took all of that dude's willpower to so much as pick up that gyoza. Choke on it, Eizan. 😁 One down, nine to go.
PROMISED NEVERLAND - Soundin' kinda creepy and repetitive there, SARA. These OP credits look like they're missing some names. These guys seem pretty chill for demons. Itadakimasu, latom, thanks for the grub, and what have you. "It's good... and that concerns me." I'm not sure I'd equate the brain to flesh, but hey, you have your terminologies and I have mine. I forgot why the whole "30 years ago" thing is so important; maybe because it's around our present time in relation to when the show takes place? His necklace looks like some kind of nonbinary gender symbol. Racism: like a bisexual, it goes both ways. This must mean Grace Field House is the titular "Promised Neverland". "My god, a million years..." CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Tonight's theme is freedom, apparently. Wild demons somehow sound more dangerous than domesticated demons, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was the other way around. The three Cs: cutting, cooking, and collecting. I never thought Gilda of all people could be so intimidating. And everyone's giving Ray shit too. Next week, Zeke fuckin' dies and yet we feel sorrier for the horse that was collateral damage. Food Wars has nothin' on Ray. YOU GOTTA HAVE A MONTAAAAAGE. Those opposable extra fingers they have are disturbing, but not as disturbing as their hand-feet. Keep an eye out for raining Titans, you two. Hello, ferret. Aim between the eyes, gets 'em every time. Or go for their eyes, that works too. Shit, that's the same flower they put in Conny and Krone. The first kill's always the hardest. Not sure if humane. Poor girl aged five years in five minutes.
FIRE FORCE - Upon further reflection, I think I'd have appreciated Orochi more had I not cared so damn much about Hajiki surviving. Still, I blame Okubo, because who else am I gonna blame besides myself? His arm's off, but besides that he's decent. You're a good man, Juggernaut. Sucks you're probably as dead as your fellow squadmen are, Ritsu's puppetry notwithstanding. Hinawa, your way with words isn't helping your case any. Great, they not only brought a dominatrix with them, but a gimp too. And a bulletproof gimp at that. They freaked out because they knew they were dead meat, especially around the protagonist such as yourself. GIOVANNI'S BACK, BITCHES. Lemme guess, he's filled with lots and lots of bugs now? Meanwhile, Maki's bored. Now that Hajiki's dead, I don't really care if any more 2nd Company redshirts bite the dust. Wait what he can read minds now? I've never heard that theory before now but I can believe it. I'm getting real sick of all these audio cut-outs, Spectrum. GO ARTHUR GO. And then he was the Exterminator. Can you believe that the KissAnime of American cartoons doesn't have the Black Dynamite pilot up for streaming anywhere on their servers? Just thought I'd point that out while it was still fresh in my mind. CROTCH. It's official, Takagi doesn't know shit about what his own sister is capable of. OH YEAHHHHHH. I kinda love this crazy son of a bitch. SIDE CHESTO. Is Takigi pyrokinetic too because he looks rather confident about blocking those blasts with his bare hands. Shut up, Takigi, nobody cares what you think. GO FOR THE JOINTS. You put up a good fight, Iron. Just sock this ignorant fucker in the face for me, Hinawa, whatever gets him to shut up. Meanwhile, Tamaki's losing even more clothes. And she's still getting ryona'd something fierce too. DYNAMIC HEADBUTT. Nice of you to finally join us without proper setup, Vulcan and Iris. FUCK YEAH OBI. Dosukoi~. Tamaki is so useless, even she can't deny it. Look on the bright side, Licht, at least you run better than most Titans. Goddammit why am I laughing at this. I liked Ritsu better when she had Inca around to balance out her own personal brand of crazy.
BLACK CLOVER - LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN. Surprise, the medicine was actually poison. The only thing dumber than their new group name is the upside-down mask, which hardly makes even any aesthetic sense. Ohhhhh, they're supposed to be fangs... Okay, so that's how the magic-impaired factor into all this. MIST MACHINE. A similar situation to Asta, but with more weight training and less nun fetishism. You'd think getting stabbed would count as moderate violence, but what do I know, I'm not actually S&P. And back to the plot at hand. I keep forgetting that village's name. That was an concerningly long cut to black. Chairman Chin-mole. It's good to have connections. Check out Finral's lazy eye in the back. Thanks for all the help, old lady. "I recognize that bride!" That's a strange analogy, but not an inaccurate one. A package deal, like Samurai Champloo and Paranoia Agent, or Akame ga Kill and Parasyte. I'm so used to Gauche being a stubborn ass I'm not all that pissed at him anymore about it. (Still the second-worst Bull in my book, and the objective worst overall.) That running hideout animation is still so bad. Sometimes I forget that Zora's still helping them out, sort of. "Yeah, you better keep walkin'..." Kids who physically accost their mothers are just the worst. There were so many other places before that point that would've made for a better end to Act 1. Ah, TOM and sidescrollers. He loves them, yet he hates them, yet he loves them still. Like I said, so many better places. Now we'll never know what Asta said there... "Dang inclement weather!" It's like The Mystery of the Druids, only Devil Believers...
SHIPPUDEN - At first he had nothing, and now he has everything. I feel like we've gone through these flashbacks before... They're stuck playing ketchup, and there's nothing worth eating to squirt it on. So much for their impregnable barrier. Bone flute: my new favorite silly synonym for a penis. That giant snake monster form still freaks me the fuck out. Lotta flashbacks this episode... TSUTOMU OHSHIRO SAKUGA SPOTTED. Oh no, he stabbed himself in the face. Finally, we get to see what this Izanami's all about. Right after the commercial break, that is. I think I've finally grown past Rick & Morty, but then again, I was never a superfan of it to begin with. Dirty pool, Kabuto. Man, Toonami really sucks at cutting things to commercial this week. HAHAHA WIPEOUT. Aw shit hee's been assimil-or maybe not. "This feels like deja vu all over again." Goddammit Kabuto stop being visually creepy. Congratulations, you can see again. Let's do the time warp again and again. Stuck in an endless battle he has no hope of winning, if that's what Izanami does then that's really damn metal. Even if it does feel like a Bites the Dust rip-off... Sucks to be you, Kabuto, you and your already diseased state of mind. "Oops, the episode ended early, so here's the Tailed Beast counting song again."