panic Posted May 9, 2020 Share Posted May 9, 2020 Mine is to have my future wife and I dress up as Shredder and April O'Neil, her dad as Splinter, her bridesmaids as the turtles, my groomsmen as Bebop and Rocksteady, and Krang perform the ceremony. I just worry I won't be able to book Vanilla Ice to rap us down the aisle. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naraku4656 Posted May 9, 2020 Share Posted May 9, 2020 i don't think you have to worry about Vanilla Ice being busy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ric Posted May 9, 2020 Share Posted May 9, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stilgar Posted May 9, 2020 Share Posted May 9, 2020 Someone giving me $25k and fucking off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gyaos Posted May 9, 2020 Share Posted May 9, 2020 Bold of you to assume I have any chance of getting married. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sawdamizer Posted May 9, 2020 Share Posted May 9, 2020 9 hours ago, stilgar said: Someone giving me $25k and fucking off. My wife's parents gave us 30k... and I definitely fucked off with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vamped Posted May 9, 2020 Share Posted May 9, 2020 Rather take all the wedding money and go on a kick ass vacation/ honeymoon. Meticulously plan out the entire vacation and then pull up in a pretty dress and yell at my fiance GET IN THE CAR LOSER WE GOT MARRIED SHIT TO DO!! 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sawdamizer Posted May 9, 2020 Share Posted May 9, 2020 2 minutes ago, Vamped said: Rather take all the wedding money and go on a kick ass vacation/ honeymoon. Meticulously plan out the entire vacation and then pull up in a pretty dress and yell at my fiance GET IN THE CAR LOSER WE GOT MARRIED SHIT TO DO!! Thats all well and good... but get ready for anal sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vamped Posted May 9, 2020 Share Posted May 9, 2020 1 minute ago, Sawdamizer said: Thats all well and good... but get ready for anal sex. I only do butt stuff if Im the one doing the doing Wait ... you can only have buttsex after marriage?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sawdamizer Posted May 9, 2020 Share Posted May 9, 2020 13 minutes ago, Vamped said: I only do butt stuff if Im the one doing the doing Wait ... you can only have buttsex after marriage?! I married the wrong girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kudasai Posted May 9, 2020 Share Posted May 9, 2020 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
André Toulon Posted May 9, 2020 Share Posted May 9, 2020 I can't remember where I saw this and I didn't check the legitimacy, but I'm pretty sure you can book vanilla ice for $100 a song and travel accomodations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwimModSponges Posted May 9, 2020 Share Posted May 9, 2020 We did the courthouse thing last year, nice small non-religious deal. This October (hopefully if this whole thing winds down by then) we're planning on a non-ceremonial party type thing. Yard games, alcohol, delicious food, karaoke... The theme we want to go with is something like a hobbits birthday party. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sawdamizer Posted May 9, 2020 Share Posted May 9, 2020 1 hour ago, SwimModSponges said: We did the courthouse thing last year, nice small non-religious deal. This October (hopefully if this whole thing winds down by then) we're planning on a non-ceremonial party type thing. Yard games, alcohol, delicious food, karaoke... The theme we want to go with is something like a hobbits birthday party. So.... just let me know where I'm going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwimModSponges Posted May 9, 2020 Share Posted May 9, 2020 (edited) 11 minutes ago, Sawdamizer said: So.... just let me know where I'm going. Wisconsin. For real though, wife wants a hand fastening ceremony. Down with that, but she's not letting me lead the whole thing with a prayer to Akatosh. Which i think is bullshit. Prayer takes like 10 seconds, and almost every wedding I've been to starts with a prayer. Its only right that i ask the dragon god of Time to bless our future. Edited May 9, 2020 by SwimModSponges 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avec Posted May 9, 2020 Share Posted May 9, 2020 A small ceremony outside and a giant party with a house DJ on the beach. But really, not getting married sounds good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kudasai Posted May 9, 2020 Share Posted May 9, 2020 The most likely scenario in my case 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tsar4 Posted May 10, 2020 Share Posted May 10, 2020 Best advice I ever read, though I never got to use it, was to schedule the wedding but have a quick civil ceremony (without telling anyone) about a week before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
molarbear Posted May 10, 2020 Share Posted May 10, 2020 11 hours ago, avec said: . But really, not getting married sounds good. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sawdamizer Posted May 10, 2020 Share Posted May 10, 2020 2 minutes ago, molarbear said: Which one am I? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raptorpat Posted May 10, 2020 Share Posted May 10, 2020 if I get internet married I will certainly have quackers and ramo seated next to each other Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raptorpat Posted May 10, 2020 Share Posted May 10, 2020 12 hours ago, SwimModSponges said: Wisconsin. For real though, wife wants a hand fastening ceremony. definitely read that as "hand fisting ceremony" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sawdamizer Posted May 10, 2020 Share Posted May 10, 2020 Just now, Admin_Raptorpat said: definitely read that as "hand fisting ceremony" Mannnnnnn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doom Metal Alchemist Posted May 10, 2020 Share Posted May 10, 2020 2 hours ago, Sawdamizer said: Which one am I? I wonder if someone you know drew this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sawdamizer Posted May 10, 2020 Share Posted May 10, 2020 2 minutes ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said: I wonder if someone you know drew this. I know nothing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwimModSponges Posted May 10, 2020 Share Posted May 10, 2020 8 hours ago, Admin_Raptorpat said: definitely read that as "hand fisting ceremony" Folks always ask "whats hand fastening" And i'm always like "its when you don't eat hands for a while. " 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avec Posted May 10, 2020 Share Posted May 10, 2020 14 hours ago, molarbear said: My only true love, mozz sticks. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
avec Posted May 10, 2020 Share Posted May 10, 2020 5 hours ago, SwimModSponges said: Folks always ask "whats hand fastening" And i'm always like "its when you don't eat hands for a while. " Isn't it when you tie the couples' hands together with 10 feet of yarn and hope they get out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwimModSponges Posted May 10, 2020 Share Posted May 10, 2020 Something like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
molarbear Posted May 10, 2020 Share Posted May 10, 2020 14 hours ago, Sawdamizer said: Which one am I? The person that cooked the cheese sticks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted May 10, 2020 Share Posted May 10, 2020 (edited) Surprise wedding at a bar where people think it's a going away party. The minister includes "Queerly beloved, we are gathered here to-gay" And quotes the sailor moon theme song at least once during the ceremony. The exchange of rings are cock rings we wear on our wrists. Then I get smashed and play darts and eat a cake that says Happy Birthday Spoiler This was my actual wedding. Edited May 10, 2020 by Bouvre 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disposable Alt Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 Ceremony held at Round Table Pizza. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doom Metal Alchemist Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 17 hours ago, Bouvre said: Surprise wedding at a bar where people think it's a going away party. The minister includes "Queerly beloved, we are gathered here to-gay" And quotes the sailor moon theme song at least once during the ceremony. The exchange of rings are cock rings we wear on our wrists. Then I get smashed and play darts and eat a cake that says Happy Birthday Hide contents This was my actual wedding. Do you and your hubby have literal sticks for arms, or are these literal horse cock rings? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwimModSponges Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 As someone who used to sell cockrings, yes. They makem huge. 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuyBeardmane Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 On 5/10/2020 at 2:05 AM, Admin_Raptorpat said: fisting We talkin' about pirates here? Awesome, awesome. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vamped Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 2 hours ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said: Do you and your hubby have literal sticks for arms, or are these literal horse cock rings? When the Corona virus goes away you should visit a sex shop .... but not the dirty looking ones. Go in a classy one Or ... I guess you can just imagine Edward Penishands 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwimModSponges Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 Great movie. Watch it now if you haven't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renjifan Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 I don’t want mine to be a big deal. I absolutely HATE being the center of attention, so I’d prefer a small ceremony. Then a super casual hangout after for the reception. But first I’ll have to find someone who can actually tolerate me enough to marry me 😅 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vamped Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 1 hour ago, renjifan said: I don’t want mine to be a big deal. I absolutely HATE being the center of attention, so I’d prefer a small ceremony. Then a super casual hangout after for the reception. But first I’ll have to find someone who can actually tolerate me enough to marry me 😅 Its okay. I dont anticipate my dream wedding happening so Im shooting for a more reasonable dream of acquiring a corgi and going traveling with single old ladies in wide brim sun hats. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bouvre Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 8 hours ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said: Do you and your hubby have literal sticks for arms, or are these literal horse cock rings? Cock rings go around the base and behind the testicles, and are adjustable to sizes (we got leather ones with button snaps), so they can be pretty large. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwimModSponges Posted May 11, 2020 Share Posted May 11, 2020 They also make them in both silicone and metal at that size. Though personally I've always preferred the cock rings that just go around the base of the shaft, got a little vibrator on top so you've basically got a rabbit dildo for a wang. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
renjifan Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 3 hours ago, Vamped said: Its okay. I dont anticipate my dream wedding happening so Im shooting for a more reasonable dream of acquiring a corgi and going traveling with single old ladies in wide brim sun hats. This...sounds amazing! May I tag along??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inu_crazed_90 Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 I assume pizza will be catered at this wedding? If so...I want to be invited. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardcoreHunter Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 (edited) For me its probably just not having the cops show up. It would probably be a first in family weddings. My friend though we have had a few different scenarios thought up both are going to involve wrestling. One is that I become registered to marry people. Then I do the ceremony while wearing a Garfield suit. Already both sides of the family will be alienated to a degree. I add in some Garfield lines about food etc. The bride and groom go to kiss. Then suddenly the face heel turn as the Groom does a stone cold stunner on the bride, then as she's down he gets on our fours and starts barking in her face. She's in on it so don't worry the wedding isn't "ruined". I then grab the mic and start telling the crowd "families that have no idea what just happened" that all this girl will remember from now on is how this was the worst day of her life, but for me it was just another Monday. Then suddenly over the speakers the theme starts playing Yes 66 yea old Hacksaw Jim Duggan comes out 2x4 in hand Yelling Hooooo! As I have found out you can hire retired wrestlers rather cheap, so for a fee of $1.5k some blow and a case of beer you too can have former WWE legend Hacksaw Jim Duggan at your family gathering to fight for your amusement. He smashes me with the 2x4. I go down and crawl out of the room. My friend then starts to plead with Hacksaw. Telling him to check on the bride, Hacksaw is taken back and goes to help the bride up. My friend then goes for another stunner, but Hacksaw blocks it and grabs my friends leg. My friend starts shaking his head and yelling No, no! As Hacksaw yells Hoooooo! Then slams my friend to the ground. Suddenly the Groomsmen take off their tux revealing wrestling tights, and all gang up on Hacksaw. One hits him and he falls, as they all start putting the boots to him. My brother is doing color commentary "Oh my god this is disgusting, they're going to kill him. Somebody stop this". I run back in holding a steel chair. My brother "Oh no he has a chair, this can't be legal, this has just gone too far!". I look around, my friend is clapping as I stand over Hacksaw with the chair. Then suddenly I smash my friend with the chair, The groomsmen try and jump me but I beat them all down and they scatter back. I help up hacksaw. My friend runs over and close lines me to the ground, knocking off my Grafield mask. Suprise it was not me at all, it was 72 year old Rick Flair. Who because of financial issues and bad lifestyle choices is about as affordable as Hacksaw so it works out. I come running out in a ref outfit which I had on under the garfield costume, I'm yelling it's a trick! At this point the families have either caught onto the bit or are just horrified at what is happening. If anything cops are probably on their way. Hacksaw then helps Rick Flare up. Now some of you might be wondering why Rick would be helping as he's a Heel. Don't worry about that for now I'll get to it. The bride has finally gotten back up. Now The bride Hacksaw and Rick are standing over my friend. I'm being a ref and trying to defuse the situation. I get cast aside. My friend gets up. It's not looking good for him. Then suddenly the bride turns and my friend and her do a double stunner on flare and hacksaw, both kiss and they go for a double pin as I do the 3 count. ding ding you're now man and wife this match is over! Flare pissed grabs the bride and just throws her into the wedding cake. on the table. The match is over but he's still going. He starts to fight dirty and hits my friend in the head with something he has hidden in his hand. My friend does a cut job and is just bleeding everywhere now, as Flare and Hacksaw make their exit. THE OTHER IDEA Fake my friends death. Who is going to show up to your funeral? Usually the same people who will show up to your wedding. He's all laid out in a casket. I come running out dressed and acting like Paul Bearer holding an Urn. Oh Yess! I will bring him back, as I open the urn and light comes out. Take in the Soul OH YESSS! My friend then sits up shocking everyone because they all thought he was dead. Then we break into a casket match where people are just throwing each other in and out of the casket. Edited May 12, 2020 by HardcoreHunter 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vamped Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 28 minutes ago, renjifan said: This...sounds amazing! May I tag along??? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poof Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 i'd just like someone to wanna marry me in this first place 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chapinator_X Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 Great music, great drinks, and even greater food. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardcoreHunter Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 55 minutes ago, Chapinator-800 said: Great music, great drinks, and even greater food. Isn't that the slogan for Chuck E Cheese? Are you getting married at a Chuck E Cheese? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chapinator_X Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 27 minutes ago, HardcoreHunter said: Isn't that the slogan for Chuck E Cheese? Are you getting married at a Chuck E Cheese? Nah man. Chili's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HardcoreHunter Posted May 12, 2020 Share Posted May 12, 2020 30 minutes ago, Chapinator-800 said: Nah man. Chili's. I had to look it up. Chuck E Cheese was Great Food, Drinks, Fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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