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Helper Elf
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Everything posted by Bouvre

  1. I can't believe you deadnamed a pizza.
  2. Eat ass for fast cash and for the occasional everything bagel with plain cream cheese.
  3. I skip the foreplay and give them conjunctivitis with little to no words exchanged.
  4. I was once in a Huffington Post photo feature because I said yes to some rando on Myspace years ago. The photo features me playing my accordion. I took a selfie with Salman Rushdie. I asked him to do duck face. He would not. My wedding was a surprise wedding disguised as a going away party. I got married to get housing more easily in grad school. My spouse and I have been married for four years.
  5. The fire marshal isn't too sure about that
  6. I work at a bar near my city's bus terminal, so while imagination is fine for figuring out what that's like, consider that I'd rather tell you about the guy who did whipits, passed out against our alleyway's emergency exit with the recycle bin pulled over him like a blanket, and effectively locked me in at closing until I was forced to call 911, because he was too fished out to respond to me banging against the door and hollering.
  7. Chop Suey because it's a great song for karaoke
  8. Aaron Carter played at my alma mater not long ago. He took shirtless selfies in one of the public restrooms.
  9. Backstreet Boys, Into The Millennium Tour, October 26 1999
  10. No butt stuff is by accident, sorry not sorry to say
  11. The hell is an Ohio? Is that an offbrand Oreo recalled for scoliosis?
  12. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skin-walker
  13. Bundaberg is everywhere in my town. I think I like it more than the popular brand sodas, but it's certainly not a frequent purchase.
  14. I'm a skateboarder and cyclist, but out of the options I think tennis is the priority. Volleyball too, but I'm worse at that than I am at tennis.
  15. From the writer of MEH And the director of NYEGH Comes BYLEUYGHHH
  16. It would be a way for you to make up not showing up to my thesis defense.
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