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GuyBeardmane

I'm REALLY fat, you guys.

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Like, I'm a big dude.  I've known I'm a big dude as it's quite obvious.  But today I went to a clinic to check for an ear infection and they put me on the scale and I was actually blown away because I am 445 pounds.  That's too damn big.  So either I gotta change things and start exercising and counting calories and such, or not.

 

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No, no, no. You need to eat more and get your own episode of My 600 lb Life. fuggs will be jealous.

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2 minutes ago, bnmjy said:

No, no, no. You need to eat more and get your own episode of My 600 lb Life. fuggs will be jealous.

But I like being able to see my penis.

Just now, SwimModSponges said:

I hear good things about meth.

Image result for ride the snake gif

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1 minute ago, Still Me said:

i used to be fat....but im officially wearing a size 12 jean now....so....less fat?

You mean you were phat.  Or maybe even t h i c c.

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Also my blood pressure was way too high and I'm actually concerned about my mortality.

Worst of all, I learned I have a pimple IN MY EAR CANAL.  My body fucking sucks.

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3 minutes ago, Greeny said:

Healthy at any size. Don't let the pain in your left arm fool you.

I've said suicide by pizza is the way I wanna go.

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2 minutes ago, discolemonade said:

please get healthy.  :)

i have to lose 20 lbs, and i'll be at a happy weight. 

 

Gurl, you look amazing and don't have to lose any weight.  But you do you.

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3 minutes ago, GuyBeardmane said:

I've said suicide by pizza is the way I wanna go.

Don't give me any ideas.

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3 minutes ago, GuyBeardmane said:

Gurl, you look amazing and don't have to lose any weight.  But you do you.

you're too kind.  :)

but really, really. please get healthy. 

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1 minute ago, discolemonade said:

you're too kind.  :)

but really, really. please get healthy. 

I'm hoping to get bitten by a radioactive Brawn Strowman so I gain his powers of being massive and making people get these hands.

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35 minutes ago, GuyBeardmane said:

I'm hoping to get bitten by a radioactive Brawn Strowman so I gain his powers of being massive and making people get these hands.

Haha! Another WWE fan! Awesome! Except Braun Strowman got that announce table last Monday. 

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2 hours ago, bnmjy said:

No, no, no. You need to eat more and get your own episode of My 600 lb Life. fuggs will be jealous.

Dont do it.

 

Because then Ill watch it. Its a weird compulsion 

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I hope you're trolling....I've seen pics of you and you look nothing close to 445 unless you're like 7'9 or some shit.  

I can't even imagine being 300, much less 445.  Monitoring you calories will help but you gotta get active dude, seriously.  

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51 minutes ago, Vamped said:

Dont do it.

 

Because then Ill watch it. Its a weird compulsion 

Just imagine an episode on fuggs. She'd be worse than Shenee. xD

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4 minutes ago, bnmjy said:

Just imagine an episode on fuggs. She'd be worse than Shenee. xD

"But I ate a fruit bowl"

"Bitch, you just chased down a food truck for fat battered seafood."

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Zero calorie DRINKS ONLY. Water and delicious drinks sweetened with sugar substitutes ONLY. For years, for the rest of your life. 

Go keto crazy for a few months, plain chicken breast ONLY, no breaded fried chicken cheat day, no fries, just vegetables, carrot sticks are your new need something to munch on snack. Eggplant slices and tofu sticks seasoned deliciously. Get some curry powder, that's ur flavoring now for anything you hate but need to be eating. Find some other spices you like, season the fuck out of your new bland healthy meals. No chips, no carbs, no sugar, no bready Subway sandwiches, no weird bakery items, no pizza. You get pizza in 2020 when you 225

And you gotta move around every day, bigly. Whatever you can make yourself do. 

Maybe write down what u eat in a food diary, maybe make a thread for it so the pressure of other people seeing it helps you act right and not go thru any drive thrus

Idk, idk man. This is just, where I would start. We need u

Edited by Nabloom
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26 minutes ago, Nabloom said:

Zero calorie DRINKS ONLY. Water and delicious drinks sweetened with sugar substitutes ONLY. For years, for the rest of your life. 

honestly this is kind of a big deal

basically practically everything we drink is bad for you for one reason or another except water (and tea, because tea is just dirty water)

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23 minutes ago, Admin_Raptorpat said:

honestly this is kind of a big deal

basically practically everything we drink is bad for you for one reason or another except water (and tea, because tea is just dirty water)

Actually for these purposes, black coffee would be really good. But only black. No sugar, no cream. 

I learned to love black coffee. I've since stopped because i have stomach issues but now i miss it. 

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6 hours ago, GuyBeardmane said:

Like, I'm a big dude.  I've known I'm a big dude as it's quite obvious.  But today I went to a clinic to check for an ear infection and they put me on the scale and I was actually blown away because I am 445 pounds.  That's too damn big.  So either I gotta change things and start exercising and counting calories and such, or not.

An old football coach said a guy in a similar condition really wanted to play ball. He wasn't good enough to get past physical trials. He spent an entire year running the track every day, just ran it until he couldn't do it anymore. The next year the coach didn't even recognize him, he'd lost well over 100 pounds and built a lot of muscle. Find the sort of cardio that works for you and stick with it, cardio sheds weight. I have to monitor it because it's hard for me to eat enough to keep up with my metabolism.

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5 hours ago, Buddyroe360 said:

I hope you're trolling....I've seen pics of you and you look nothing close to 445 unless you're like 7'9 or some shit.  

I can't even imagine being 300, much less 445.  Monitoring you calories will help but you gotta get active dude, seriously.  

Yeah I didn't get the impression that he weighed that much either. And I would think someone that heavy would only be able to get around on a rascal. And if that were the case for guybeard, you'd think that would have been enough of a wake up call.

But good luck to you guybeard.

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If you shove a toothpick through a grape and stick it into a large potato, that is what I look like.  I do have some decently muscular legs because I'm hauling my fat ass around everywhere.  But yeah, I have a pretty sedentary life where I work in a call center and when I'm not doing that I'm at home on the internet.  I'm gonna look into getting a stationary bike so I can still YouTube and not be outdoors for people to laugh at for trying to get better.  That will at least get some cardio going to get to the point I don't sweat myself to death if I join a gym later on for enhanced cardio and muscle building, since muscle burns fat faster.

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5 hours ago, GuyBeardmane said:

If you shove a toothpick through a grape and stick it into a large potato, that is what I look like.  I do have some decently muscular legs because I'm hauling my fat ass around everywhere.  But yeah, I have a pretty sedentary life where I work in a call center and when I'm not doing that I'm at home on the internet.  I'm gonna look into getting a stationary bike so I can still YouTube and not be outdoors for people to laugh at for trying to get better.  That will at least get some cardio going to get to the point I don't sweat myself to death if I join a gym later on for enhanced cardio and muscle building, since muscle burns fat faster.

you can just walk for now until you can figure out other things to do. if you change nothing but take an hour long walk everyday, itll burn 3500 cal/week which is 1 pound of fat. and you can do it outside without it looking like you're "exercising"

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15 minutes ago, Poof said:

you can just walk for now until you can figure out other things to do. if you change nothing but take an hour long walk everyday, itll burn 3500 cal/week which is 1 pound of fat. and you can do it outside without it looking like you're "exercising"

That involves going outside in the Kentucky summer, with the humidity and the heat and the bugs.  Fuck all of that noise.

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35 minutes ago, GuyBeardmane said:

That involves going outside in the Kentucky summer, with the humidity and the heat and the bugs.  Fuck all of that noise.

At your size, you can burn a lot of calories just by doing arm exercises. Buy some resistance bands. I think most of the equipment in the gym has a weight capacity of 400 lbs anyway. This at least gives you a goal.

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41 minutes ago, GuyBeardmane said:

That involves going outside in the Kentucky summer, with the humidity and the heat and the bugs.  Fuck all of that noise.

become a mall walker

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50 minutes ago, GuyBeardmane said:

That involves going outside in the Kentucky summer, with the humidity and the heat and the bugs.  Fuck all of that noise.

Could work on your diet in the mean time. I need to rework my diet too 

..... but Im typing this with a graham cracker in my mouth so ... 

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8 minutes ago, Admin_Raptorpat said:

don't you hafta be like a grandma for that

pretty sure that's a prereq

youd think so but theres a lot of them u dont realize are mall walkers at first

i spent a lot of time at the mall when i was a teen. i know. theres many different types

thanks for coming to my ted talk

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11 hours ago, GuyBeardmane said:

But yeah, I have a pretty sedentary life where I work in a call center

That's probably a lot of the issue right there. Two of my friends started working ten hour shifts at a call center about a year, year and a half ago, both have put on a lot of weight in that time. They say bc of the job hours + relatively good pay they eat out too much and are often too tired to do anything when they get off which ain't good when you're sitting down all day. Maybe there's some exercise stuff you can do from your chair. Butt flexes, idk

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Sorry for bumping this....I wanted to ask a question but didn't want to make a 600 lb life thread so I'm just gonna do it here....Is it true that all the people on that show have spouses or significant others.....Because That kind of explains some shit for me.

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On 8/25/2018 at 9:34 PM, GuyBeardmane said:

Like, I'm a big dude.  I've known I'm a big dude as it's quite obvious.  But today I went to a clinic to check for an ear infection and they put me on the scale and I was actually blown away because I am 445 pounds.  That's too damn big.  So either I gotta change things and start exercising and counting calories and such, or not.

 

Yeah, I'm 312 lbs. It's the most I've ever weighed and intend to weigh. I need to get back into my old routine.

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1 hour ago, Sho Minamimoto said:

Sorry for bumping this....I wanted to ask a question but didn't want to make a 600 lb life thread so I'm just gonna do it here....Is it true that all the people on that show have spouses or significant others.....Because That kind of explains some shit for me.

are u a feeder?

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2 hours ago, Sho Minamimoto said:

Sorry for bumping this....I wanted to ask a question but didn't want to make a 600 lb life thread so I'm just gonna do it here....Is it true that all the people on that show have spouses or significant others.....Because That kind of explains some shit for me.

Most of them do and their spouses are the ones feeding and bathing them. The few that dont have spouses have their parents taking care of them. 

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Posted (edited)
5 hours ago, Sho Minamimoto said:

No....Just that there is no excuse for involuntary loneliness

I dont think so. I think its more like you cant get to be the biggest of the big without help. And tlc is only going to bother showing us the biggest ppl

Edited by Poof

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At the nicer call centers weight loss surgery was all the rage. Couldn't hurt to look into it.

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Eat a lot of Asian food.  Actual Asian food, not like Chinese buffet sugar donut shit.  

Grilled hibachi is a great go to for a healthy and filling meal.  Filled with eggs, lean meats, cooked vegetables, and clumpy rice, all things that make you feel full for lower than average calories.  Plus lots of spices which are good appetite suppressants.

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2 minutes ago, enad said:

Eat a lot of Asian food.  Actual Asian food, not like Chinese buffet sugar donut shit.  

Grilled hibachi is a great go to for a healthy and filling meal.  Filled with eggs, lean meats, cooked vegetables, and clumpy rice, all things that make you feel full for lower than average calories.  Plus lots of spices which are good appetite suppressants.

I ask for no rice..just broccoli. Tokyo grill be hooking a sista UP

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1 minute ago, fuggstop said:

I ask for no rice..just broccoli. Tokyo grill be hooking a sista UP

I'd give him a pass and let him have steamed rice given his appetite.  Fried rice is a no go.

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Posted (edited)

More than laying on a fat stack of cash I’ve wanted to lay on a fat stack of man

Edited by Opium
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I need to get back to work.. I'm used to making exercise routines around whatever job I'm working, and apparently i've been gaining wieght since I've been spending most of my productive energy filling out apps, and doing interviews and what not. I do know it's best to get in shape sooner rather than later the way the human body is.. 

From what I understand the fatter you get the harder it is to loose weight, and keep it off due to the way fat is stored.

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Try intermittent fasting or extended fasting.

In 30 days, i lost 70 pounds. That was with extended fasting. When you go into ketosis your body burns your fat for energy.  All you have to do is take electrolytes 48 hours in. When i say extended, i mean nothing but water.

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