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I'm REALLY fat, you guys.

GuyBeardmane

By GuyBeardmane
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GuyBeardmane

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Like, I'm a big dude.  I've known I'm a big dude as it's quite obvious.  But today I went to a clinic to check for an ear infection and they put me on the scale and I was actually blown away because I am 445 pounds.  That's too damn big.  So either I gotta change things and start exercising and counting calories and such, or not.

 

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midnight Freakin Mutant

midnight

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35 minutes ago, GuyBeardmane said:

I'm hoping to get bitten by a radioactive Brawn Strowman so I gain his powers of being massive and making people get these hands.

Haha! Another WWE fan! Awesome! Except Braun Strowman got that announce table last Monday. 

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NaBarney Monster Mutant

NaBarney

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Zero calorie DRINKS ONLY. Water and delicious drinks sweetened with sugar substitutes ONLY. For years, for the rest of your life. 

Go keto crazy for a few months, plain chicken breast ONLY, no breaded fried chicken cheat day, no fries, just vegetables, carrot sticks are your new need something to munch on snack. Eggplant slices and tofu sticks seasoned deliciously. Get some curry powder, that's ur flavoring now for anything you hate but need to be eating. Find some other spices you like, season the fuck out of your new bland healthy meals. No chips, no carbs, no sugar, no bready Subway sandwiches, no weird bakery items, no pizza. You get pizza in 2020 when you 225

And you gotta move around every day, bigly. Whatever you can make yourself do. 

Maybe write down what u eat in a food diary, maybe make a thread for it so the pressure of other people seeing it helps you act right and not go thru any drive thrus

Idk, idk man. This is just, where I would start. We need u

Edited by Nabloom
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Raptorpat Monster Mutant

Raptorpat

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26 minutes ago, Nabloom said:

Zero calorie DRINKS ONLY. Water and delicious drinks sweetened with sugar substitutes ONLY. For years, for the rest of your life. 

honestly this is kind of a big deal

basically practically everything we drink is bad for you for one reason or another except water (and tea, because tea is just dirty water)

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KimopoBotar Luminary

KimopoBotar

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23 minutes ago, Admin_Raptorpat said:

honestly this is kind of a big deal

basically practically everything we drink is bad for you for one reason or another except water (and tea, because tea is just dirty water)

Actually for these purposes, black coffee would be really good. But only black. No sugar, no cream. 

I learned to love black coffee. I've since stopped because i have stomach issues but now i miss it. 

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RainyDayJizz#35 Hero

RainyDayJizz#35

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6 hours ago, GuyBeardmane said:

Like, I'm a big dude.  I've known I'm a big dude as it's quite obvious.  But today I went to a clinic to check for an ear infection and they put me on the scale and I was actually blown away because I am 445 pounds.  That's too damn big.  So either I gotta change things and start exercising and counting calories and such, or not.

An old football coach said a guy in a similar condition really wanted to play ball. He wasn't good enough to get past physical trials. He spent an entire year running the track every day, just ran it until he couldn't do it anymore. The next year the coach didn't even recognize him, he'd lost well over 100 pounds and built a lot of muscle. Find the sort of cardio that works for you and stick with it, cardio sheds weight. I have to monitor it because it's hard for me to eat enough to keep up with my metabolism.

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Doom Metal Alchemist Monster Mutant

Doom Metal Alchemist

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5 hours ago, Buddyroe360 said:

I hope you're trolling....I've seen pics of you and you look nothing close to 445 unless you're like 7'9 or some shit.  

I can't even imagine being 300, much less 445.  Monitoring you calories will help but you gotta get active dude, seriously.  

Yeah I didn't get the impression that he weighed that much either. And I would think someone that heavy would only be able to get around on a rascal. And if that were the case for guybeard, you'd think that would have been enough of a wake up call.

But good luck to you guybeard.

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GuyBeardmane Star

GuyBeardmane

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If you shove a toothpick through a grape and stick it into a large potato, that is what I look like.  I do have some decently muscular legs because I'm hauling my fat ass around everywhere.  But yeah, I have a pretty sedentary life where I work in a call center and when I'm not doing that I'm at home on the internet.  I'm gonna look into getting a stationary bike so I can still YouTube and not be outdoors for people to laugh at for trying to get better.  That will at least get some cardio going to get to the point I don't sweat myself to death if I join a gym later on for enhanced cardio and muscle building, since muscle burns fat faster.

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Poof Monster Mutant

Poof

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5 hours ago, GuyBeardmane said:

If you shove a toothpick through a grape and stick it into a large potato, that is what I look like.  I do have some decently muscular legs because I'm hauling my fat ass around everywhere.  But yeah, I have a pretty sedentary life where I work in a call center and when I'm not doing that I'm at home on the internet.  I'm gonna look into getting a stationary bike so I can still YouTube and not be outdoors for people to laugh at for trying to get better.  That will at least get some cardio going to get to the point I don't sweat myself to death if I join a gym later on for enhanced cardio and muscle building, since muscle burns fat faster.

you can just walk for now until you can figure out other things to do. if you change nothing but take an hour long walk everyday, itll burn 3500 cal/week which is 1 pound of fat. and you can do it outside without it looking like you're "exercising"

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GuyBeardmane Star

GuyBeardmane

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15 minutes ago, Poof said:

you can just walk for now until you can figure out other things to do. if you change nothing but take an hour long walk everyday, itll burn 3500 cal/week which is 1 pound of fat. and you can do it outside without it looking like you're "exercising"

That involves going outside in the Kentucky summer, with the humidity and the heat and the bugs.  Fuck all of that noise.

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bnmjy Monster Mutant

bnmjy

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35 minutes ago, GuyBeardmane said:

That involves going outside in the Kentucky summer, with the humidity and the heat and the bugs.  Fuck all of that noise.

At your size, you can burn a lot of calories just by doing arm exercises. Buy some resistance bands. I think most of the equipment in the gym has a weight capacity of 400 lbs anyway. This at least gives you a goal.

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Vamped Monster Mutant

Vamped

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50 minutes ago, GuyBeardmane said:

That involves going outside in the Kentucky summer, with the humidity and the heat and the bugs.  Fuck all of that noise.

Could work on your diet in the mean time. I need to rework my diet too 

..... but Im typing this with a graham cracker in my mouth so ... 

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Poof Monster Mutant

Poof

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8 minutes ago, Admin_Raptorpat said:

don't you hafta be like a grandma for that

pretty sure that's a prereq

youd think so but theres a lot of them u dont realize are mall walkers at first

i spent a lot of time at the mall when i was a teen. i know. theres many different types

thanks for coming to my ted talk

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NaBarney Monster Mutant

NaBarney

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11 hours ago, GuyBeardmane said:

But yeah, I have a pretty sedentary life where I work in a call center

That's probably a lot of the issue right there. Two of my friends started working ten hour shifts at a call center about a year, year and a half ago, both have put on a lot of weight in that time. They say bc of the job hours + relatively good pay they eat out too much and are often too tired to do anything when they get off which ain't good when you're sitting down all day. Maybe there's some exercise stuff you can do from your chair. Butt flexes, idk

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NeurocideVibekillah Aristocrat

NeurocideVibekillah

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On 8/25/2018 at 9:34 PM, GuyBeardmane said:

Like, I'm a big dude.  I've known I'm a big dude as it's quite obvious.  But today I went to a clinic to check for an ear infection and they put me on the scale and I was actually blown away because I am 445 pounds.  That's too damn big.  So either I gotta change things and start exercising and counting calories and such, or not.

 

Yeah, I'm 312 lbs. It's the most I've ever weighed and intend to weigh. I need to get back into my old routine.

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Poof Monster Mutant

Poof

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1 hour ago, Sho Minamimoto said:

Sorry for bumping this....I wanted to ask a question but didn't want to make a 600 lb life thread so I'm just gonna do it here....Is it true that all the people on that show have spouses or significant others.....Because That kind of explains some shit for me.

are u a feeder?

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Vamped Monster Mutant

Vamped

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2 hours ago, Sho Minamimoto said:

Sorry for bumping this....I wanted to ask a question but didn't want to make a 600 lb life thread so I'm just gonna do it here....Is it true that all the people on that show have spouses or significant others.....Because That kind of explains some shit for me.

Most of them do and their spouses are the ones feeding and bathing them. The few that dont have spouses have their parents taking care of them. 

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Poof Monster Mutant

Poof

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5 hours ago, Sho Minamimoto said:

No....Just that there is no excuse for involuntary loneliness

I dont think so. I think its more like you cant get to be the biggest of the big without help. And tlc is only going to bother showing us the biggest ppl

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enad Hero

enad

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Eat a lot of Asian food.  Actual Asian food, not like Chinese buffet sugar donut shit.  

Grilled hibachi is a great go to for a healthy and filling meal.  Filled with eggs, lean meats, cooked vegetables, and clumpy rice, all things that make you feel full for lower than average calories.  Plus lots of spices which are good appetite suppressants.

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fuggstop Monster Mutant

fuggstop

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2 minutes ago, enad said:

Eat a lot of Asian food.  Actual Asian food, not like Chinese buffet sugar donut shit.  

Grilled hibachi is a great go to for a healthy and filling meal.  Filled with eggs, lean meats, cooked vegetables, and clumpy rice, all things that make you feel full for lower than average calories.  Plus lots of spices which are good appetite suppressants.

I ask for no rice..just broccoli. Tokyo grill be hooking a sista UP

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PhilosipherStoned Monster Mutant

PhilosipherStoned

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I need to get back to work.. I'm used to making exercise routines around whatever job I'm working, and apparently i've been gaining wieght since I've been spending most of my productive energy filling out apps, and doing interviews and what not. I do know it's best to get in shape sooner rather than later the way the human body is.. 

From what I understand the fatter you get the harder it is to loose weight, and keep it off due to the way fat is stored.

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Baby_Yoda Aristocrat

Baby_Yoda

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Try intermittent fasting or extended fasting.

In 30 days, i lost 70 pounds. That was with extended fasting. When you go into ketosis your body burns your fat for energy.  All you have to do is take electrolytes 48 hours in. When i say extended, i mean nothing but water.

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