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Rate The Last Movie You Saw


StarPanda

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39 minutes ago, resurrected said:

Damn. That midnight guy. What a tool.

Yeah, who doesn't like Hocus Pocus or The Nightmare Before Christmas? Fuck that guy, amirite.

Extraction 8/10
Batman: Mask of the Phantasm 9/10
Beyond the Law(1992) 7/10
 

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  • 4 weeks later...

Birds of Prey 9/10 - It's been a long time since something in the Batman-verse has given me Batman: The Animated Series vibes. Movies like this are why I keep saying give women more projects like this because they see the real character instead of just someone fanboys want to fuck.

Dunkirk 5.5/10 - I do not understand how this was so highly rated. I'm a Nolan fan, but this was one of the most mediocre war movies I have ever seen. The storytelling felt disjointed, and I'm honestly insulted that he took a unique story like this and in my opinion botched it. This should have been easy to pull off just because there are few war movies focusing more on the psychological aspect of how relentless some of those battles were, but instead this was so boring. The emotions of the characters felt off, and with the exception of the cinematography, this felt amateurish. This movie reminds me of Stargate Universe that bit off more than it could chew trying to become a more dramatic adaptation of the series and used outdated tropes, but with war tropes in Nolan's case. Dunkirk feels like a waste of money, and I'm probably more annoyed because I needed this to scratch my 'I'm depressed, so I'll watch fucked up shit' itch and it didn't take. After marathoning Euphoria, I'll go look up 1917 because it seems to be the movie people who didn't like Dunkirk gush about.

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Nightbreed - I have no idea how to rate this.

It wasn't a terrible movie, it just didn't click with me. But it was interesting, and like other Clive Barker stuff, not something I should have watched before going to sleep because my dreams were filled with people being skinned alive. The biggest reason I was meh on this was because I just didn't care about the main character. He didn't really feel fleshed out while I cared more about what happened to his girlfriend. One of the interesting things was that watching this made a puzzle piece fall into place in my mind. I would bet that Bryan Fuller is a big fan of this movie because those moments of intimacy between Boone and his psychiatrist definitely feel like influences on Hannibal the show. It was like finding a blueprint but unlike Hannibal, there wasn't as strong of a cast to properly pull off that tension in Nightbreed. This did leave me more interested in reading Cabal though.

Logan Lucky - 7.5

I love kooky heist movies like this. Bonus points if Daniel Craig is using a southern accent. One thing that annoyed me was Seth Macfarlane. Even though he's like in three scenes, he breaks the illusion of the movie because while the other characters are goofy but still human, he has to be a cartoon character in a ridiculous wig which screws up the whole vibe. I wish someone else had been cast for that role or at least didn't make the character so hammy.

An Inspector Calls(2015) - 4.5/10

Blah. I hate these kind of storylines because they're so forced. Five people, including four who are family members, ruined the same woman's life in five separate occasions without any of them realizing they knew the same woman 🙄. I usually seek out other versions when there's a bunch and one fails for me because another cast might pull this off, but nah. The story itself is trash.

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Midsommar - 2 out of 'Why the fuck did I watch this movie?' stars. Modern cult movies are the fucking worst. I fucking hate them, but I still watched this shit. It's my fault for giving this shit a chance because Hereditary only went down the toilet at the end. Not so with this film. It was a turd from beginning to end, and nothing in this movie made it worth wasting my time. Other than portraying some grief well, all other human reactions to events in this film make no sense, and I ain't gonna bother listing anything else because this is one of the few films that pissed me off as much as Enter the Void. Ari Aster is going on my ban list. 

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The Witch - 5.5/10

Well this was the second letdown. It was interesting at first but then went downhill for me because the family was annoying, and this felt like reading an old history book. Not just the speech they were using(I honestly didn't have any problems with that), but the way the story played out. Giving this movie a true old folklore vibe wasn't bad in itself either, but there's something about the execution of it that left me bored. Oh now I can kind of think of why. They went the old folklore path but did annoying things like the 'creepy twins' trope which annoys me because it's always something that forces weirdness into movies when it's unnecessary. The dialogue also felt unnatural at times because of that same forced creepiness. 

 

Train to Busan - 10/10

I unwisely started this at the beginning of the pandemic, so I had to stop midway because the characters were too likable and it was giving me anxiety. Fast forward to today when I finished it, and it was nice having this after continually being disappointed by recent horror movies. Seeing this at different points of the pandemic is weird too. I started it before the masks' drama, so I more appreciate the human selfishness on display in this film. But it's not completely cynical which is something I want to watch right now. Also, HOW DARE THEY choose that adorable little girl so that I had to worry throughout the movie about her surviving. They could have at least made her a little annoying. I had zero anxiety about them kids in The Witch 

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Set It Off - 5/10

I probably only rated it this high because of the EnVogue song and I greatly appreciate that sex scene with

Spoiler

 

Jada and Blair Underwood. I tried watching it with 90's nostalgia glasses and nah. The characters are too stupid and do unrealistic shit. Like fucking that older dude for that check, but then tearing it up because you no longer have immediate need for that money. Ain't nobody who went that far in the first place is gonna tear up that check.

And why are these supposedly smart women(one even worked at a bank) robbing banks without gloves or masks at the beginning, but then wear clear masks at the end? The fuck is even the point of that? I know the answer to most of these are just nonsensical shit the director chose to do in the 90s for stylistic reasons or other bullshit, but it's still annoying. Jesus Christ, why even rob that last bank when you could have just searched for where their boss hid it after finding their loot in a friggin building he had constant access to? If the first place he goes after getting money is to a hooker, then that person isn't going to be very creative. Though they would have had all sorts of time to search for the missing money if they didn't shoot him because they were too stupid to check him for a gun after knowing his ass saw a gun dealer. I'm just gonna leave it here because I didn't like or hate this movie enough to go into every logic hole it was packed with.

 

 

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Hells (2008) - 4/10

An anime film about a schoolgirl in hell, featuring a dub by members of TFS. Should've been a solid movie, right? 

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The first half hour or so of this movie was intriguing, and while some may not enjoy the art style, I felt like it worked well for this, at first. Our protagonist is a ditzy anime schoolgirl whom dies while rushing to class one morning only to find herself instead arriving at the gates of the high school of hell. This plays out like a typical high school anime, complete with brawls in the courtyard, savior pretty boys, tsundere types, and kawaii, quirky goofballs. Some standouts were Hellvis, the school's principle, Steela, a patchwork zombie girl with an undead dog, and this weird Kill la Kill style student council and student body relationship. Tons of interesting designs and potential here that we get to enjoy for about 20 minutes before the movie decides to shit itself.

Here I thought I was going to be watching some fish out of water, gotta get home kinda stuff with a monster high theme. But no. Instead it flips a switch just as things are looking good and we get this convoluted mess of a story about god and human creation. Literally we see Cain and Abel duke it out alongside Adam, Eve, and even god shows up, all with anime flavor. I didn't mind this initially, but it meanders on and just crushes the pacing into dust as we crawl over broken glass in vein to get 2-second exposition that is immediately discarded. Some points in the animation are atrocious here. The polarizing, but in my opinion, charming sketchy style literally appears to swap to low resolution slideshows of what has to be manga art, flying across the screen. There are also many instances of crudely pasted still shots of characters tossed into moving crowds. It is tragically bad considering how fluid and entrancing earlier shots were. Imagine a crowd of people walking around and a cardboard cutout was placed among them. Just pathetic. 

While the Christian themes don't ruin the narrative, they absolutely muddy the waters here. So much runtime is wasted, pissing and moaning about believing in yourself for the hundredth time only for the antagonists to swing us right back to the drawing board. And this goes on and on in the third act. Every little victory or plot progression just results in some secret weapon bullshit that resets everything. And the characters themselves are largely undeveloped. Some just fucking appear randomly and now they're here, too. Jarring considering the massive cast at play. Even the school itself is wasted as we don't learn until the final seconds of the film that the students are all there to learn and prepare for their next life, with initial enrollment bogging you down with past sins and graduation yielding rebirth into your next life.

 Oh what could have been. There was a fun little anime tucked away here and it was ground into the void so a shitty bible verse could go super saiyan. Hell meh. 

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Artic Dogs 6/10
Dumbo (live-action) 9/10
Mulan (live-action) 5/10 (Meh. I liked the animated version a lot more. First Disney live-action movie to really disappoint me honestly. Really surprised they didn't have any singing.)
Bill & Ted Face the Music 8/10 (Almost felt like Keanu and Alex never stopped being Bill and Ted somehow. Guess they still got it. Party on dudes!)
The New Mutants 8/10 (Pretty nice cross between horror and super hero genres.)

Edited by Dark_Cloud_Overhead
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I saw a bit of Wonder Woman 2017 on Cartoon Network earlier, for the sole purpose of finding out what content rating they decided to give it.

The reason I didn't check the on-air schedule on CN's website instead is because it apparently no longer exists.

It was TV-14DLV. As a bonus, the Paddington Bear marathon on Christmas got a TV-PGDLV blanket rating.

I am satisfied with this.

As for what I saw of the movie, I give it an "it was like the landing at Normandy, but not nearly as good" out of 10.

Edited by PokeNirvash
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Love and Monsters 9/10

Very similar to Zombieland, only mutated insect/animal monsters instead of the undead. At first I thought it was gonna be a sort of weak ripoff at best, but it wound up being pretty damn good. Even if it wasn't, I probably would have watched it anyway just cuz it has an appearance by Michael Rooker in it.

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Watched an old Marx Brothers film Room Service for the first time yesterday - 8/10.

Not as good as other Marx Brothers movies I've seen but it was still a lot of fun.  I enjoyed it.

Edit:  Plus it was cool that Lucille Ball had a small part in the movie.

Edited by blueraven1999
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The new Mortal Kombat movie, I don't give a fuck about people's nostalgia or ripping it apart, I've been so hungry for a movie ever since this covid shit, it really hit the spot. 9/10

 

Demonslayer movie was pretty damn good, too, though I didn't like the English dub, which is rare for me... Got a little whiny for kind of no reason, they introduce us to a character that I feel like we're expected to latch on to, but give us absolutely no reason or history as to why we should care about this person... And I feel like a few aspects fell flat because of that.  8/10

Edited by JehutyNinja
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Army of the Dead (2021) - 4/10 Packed to the brim with fun ideas, ultimately doing nothing with them despite the bloated runtime. This movie has plot holes you can practically walk through, some of which seem to be due to having to replace a cast member late in production while the rest appear to point towards the slew of Army of the Dead content down the pipeline. For me, that's not a good look for a standalone, franchise starter. There's some fun to be had here, but much like the titular army of undead, you'll need to turn your brain off to enjoy this one. 

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Netflix has Scarface and at the risk of being slaughtered by its cult following, I give the movie a 3 out 5 stars. I've seen the movie multiple times but hadn't seen it in several years and this time, I've noticed a lot of off-things about the movie. I feel like the plot was choppy and each act just shifted quickly from one scene to the next without a clear conclusion; in other words, there wasn't a smooth and streamlined transition throughout the movie.

Yeah, I get it, it was all about Tony Montana rising to the top in the drug underworld of wild 1980s Miami but I feel the foundation of the story is kind of weak. I wish there had been more of a divulge into Tony's background before Miami and why he was so damn obsessed with his sister and psychotically overprotective of her. I suppose, however, the movie is all about the action and bloodshed for many people and Tony give many wannabe bad boys something to aspire to.

With that said, Tony is bad for business. Too hot-headed, cocky, stubborn, and impulsive. Besides, I prefer Manny. 😍

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Shadow in the Clouds 9/10 (Terror in the skies! Kind of a fairly simple idea, but this one really impressed me.)
Monster Hunter 8/10 (Milla Jovovich still kicking butt after all these years. Never played the game, but adaptation made for pretty good action flick.)
Raya and the Last Dragon 8/10 (Didn't quite wow me like I thought it would, but still pretty solidly entertaining.)
Tom & Jerry 7/10
Scoob 7/10
Greenland 5/10
Chaos Walking 4/10 (Waste of a somewhat interesting premise.)
Spark a Space Tail 3/10
Pretty in Pink 8/10 (Don't know how I went this long with never seeing this before.)
Mannequin 8/10 (Another cool 80's flick I never saw before somehow.)
Mannequin 2 6/10
Happy Gilmore 7/10

Edited by Dark_Cloud_Overhead
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Wonder Woman 1984 - 7/10.

Finally watched this over the weekend.  Was hoping that it would be

a lot better than it was.  I heard it wasn't as good as the first one but I didn't

think it would be that bad.  The movie would have been a lot better without Kristen Wiig.

I was watching it while I was visiting my dad last weekend and we hated her enough that we started

skipping the scenes that didn't have her with Wonder Woman.  The cameo after the credits was great though.

My favorite part of the movie.

Edited by blueraven1999
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The tomorrow war. Ummm.... Let's do 5/10

Chris Pratt was not a good choice for this lead. Actually, I'm starting to think Chris Pratt is not a good choice for most of his characters. But I digress. 

The movie had potential but it was squandered in the first like, 10 minutes. Exposition was reeeeally poorly done. I didn't like any of the characters. Soundtrack was over the top. Insert tired time travel trope here. Oh, what else... 

Eh, nevermind. Lots of cgi gore and infinite ammo. Turn your brain off and enjoy. 

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Luca (2021) - 5/10 Gave me some heavy Hey Arnold vibes, which was good, but this was otherwise kinda barebones. Seemed more like a pilot for a TV show than a movie. Nothing terrible about it, but nothing great, either. Gorgeous animation and visuals, at times. Wish this film was more daring, but they played it safe. 

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The Suicide Squad (2021) - 5/10 If you found the trailers funny, you'll probably enjoy this. To its credit, it's far better than the last Suicide Squad movie, but that's also a bar so low you can trip over it, in my opinion. Almost all the jokes fell flat and the plot is paper thin. The movie tries to shock you with gore and sudden deaths (that are often fake outs anyways) and I struggled to finish the movie. The version of Harley Quinn they keep using sucks, please for the love of god stop putting her in these movies. She's a living, breathing Hot Topic t-shirt rack from 2005. As much as I enjoyed the animated Suicide Squad movie, I really wish these movies would me a favor and kill themselves, too. 

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Godzilla vs. Kong 8/10 (Lots of s'plosins and things falling apart. Check. Not too terribly ridiculous of a plot given the sheer scale of the subject matter. Check. Mega monster battles and butt kicking team ups. Check, check, check.)
Mortal Kombat 9/10 (Wow. Significant upgrade over the original. Chalk this up as one of my favorite action movies of recent years.)
Alexander and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day 8/10
Braven 6/10
Sponge Bob movie Sponge on the Run 9/10
A Quiet Place part II 8/10 (That was pretty good I guess. Felt  like it was missing a little something extra somehow. Suppose I was hoping it would expand a bit more on the first movie than it did.)
Little Shop of Horrors (1986 version) 10/10 (That was pure awesome. 😃 Great ending, and that dentist song is gonna be stuck in my head for weeks.)

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