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UnevenEdge

Your closest brush with death


André Toulon

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I spend a lot of time thinking about this....my falling off buildings, countless car wrecks, robberies that could have gone wrong if I didn't target people I knew weren't really about that life, and just being drunk and talking shit to the wrong people....but I really just realized getting chicken pox at 23 may have been the closest. 

Im never sure if my mom is being hyperbolic, because she totally usually is, but this seem like something she wouldn't play with. One night in the hospital, she said she was so glad I opened my eyes because they almost lost me last night.....I had no clue, I was high and asleep 90% of the time I was there, so it would have been cool to check out that way...I always kinda lament that I may never get such a kooshie death.

At any rate, how close have you been to the abyss

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Near drowned numerous times. 

Hit by a car walking home.

Appendix ruptured and I was left on the couch for 3 days because I was 'faking it' . 

Every time I need a surgical procedure, they need to use an almost lethal level of anesthesia to make sure I stay under because once I start coming out of it, they can't get me back under. 

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25 minutes ago, katt_goddess said:

Near drowned numerous times. 

Hit by a car walking home.

Appendix ruptured and I was left on the couch for 3 days because I was 'faking it' . 

Every time I need a surgical procedure, they need to use an almost lethal level of anesthesia to make sure I stay under because once I start coming out of it, they can't get me back under. 

My appendix ruptured as well when I was 7. The doctor thought I was faking, but my dad told him to get fucked and took me to the e.r.

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12 hours ago, nameraka said:

Massive seizure due to alcohol withdrawal. I stopped breathing for a bit. Last straw that got me sober.

i also almost drowned twice as a kid.

Twice for me too, but I was aware....the hospital thing was just on my mind because my mom brought it up and because I was none the wiser.

Edited by André Toulon
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28 minutes ago, katt_goddess said:

Near drowned numerous times. 

Hit by a car walking home.

Appendix ruptured and I was left on the couch for 3 days because I was 'faking it' . 

Every time I need a surgical procedure, they need to use an almost lethal level of anesthesia to make sure I stay under because once I start coming out of it, they can't get me back under.

I've never had one and I can't say wether the ones from my experience were ruptured, but any time I've known someone who had to have an appendix removed had fits of vomiting at some point...I'm asking did you, and did they think you faked vomit

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3 minutes ago, André Toulon said:

I've never had one and I can't say wether the ones from my experience were ruptured, but any time I've known someone who had to have an appendix removed had fits of vomiting at some point...I'm asking did you, and did they think you faked vomit

I don't think I could vomit because I hadn't had anything to eat since the day before. I just remember that my great uncle brought me home before school even started that day because they had a phone so they got called and I spent the next few days curled up with sweats, chills, and fevers unable to move from a crooked fetal position on the couch in the living room. Wasn't even given a blanket, just called lazy. My littlest brother had the same thing happen to him and he was immediately rushed to the hospital to get checked out and have the remains of his appendix suctioned out. 

These were the same people who would claim I 'fell down a lot' . 

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I stepped in between the concrete side walk and the track to a roller coaster thinking there was a space in between them with a floor.

There wasn't. My whole leg up to top most point of my thigh was danging. This one lady pulled me up. I dunno if she was just super strong or it was the adrenaline but she pulled me out out of there before I could panic. And I still rode the thing.

 

The fucking Zippin Pippin .... XD 

Elvis' favorite roller coaster .... out there trying to die as a teen

 

Screenshot_20220217-192439_Chrome.jpg

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Floating the River

We had beached and I was sitting halfway in the water and on the shore. A Raft full of hammered people didn't see me or the giant yellow raft I was sitting next to and plowed into it and rolled over me

There I was, on my back now, pinned under a rubber raft in water that was too shallow to for it to float in (We're talking the big rafts btw, not those tiny ones you buy at a store)

Luckily one of the people in said raft either saw it happen, or saw the bug on a windshield print I was leaving in the bottom and pulled it off me

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I had a SVT attack, where your heart beats at max, for like 10 hours. I thought I was having a panic attack, then I thought it was a heart attack. Fortunately, it was neither. By the time I made it to the ER, I wouldn't say I was close to death, but my face was very pale and my body was cold. This experience was what made me realize I had SVT, and I have to be careful with heavy lifting and intense exercise, like burpees. No way I can ever work construction.

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its funny all the doctors thought you guys were faking. When I got chicken pox in 6th grade, there werent any pox yet, so when I got to the hospital they said I had appendicitis. It took the surgeon that they went and got to tell them it's obviously not appendicitis.

I was there 2 weeks w/over 150 pox. I watched zenon the zequel 5 times a day everyday bc the disney channel was the only thing good. Except I'd turn it off when rolly polly olly came on. I was like psshhhhhh im grown, I'm practically an adult, put Zenon back on

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I tend to speed a lot on the freeway, but 99.99% of the time i do I'm in very familiar territory. One time I went to Vegas for a concert, and it was my first time ever driving outside of the state of California. It's about a 7 - 7 and a half hour drive and I'm making the up and back trip in one day, so of course I'm speeding. I tend to go 15 miles over the limit in the far left lane. Can't remember if I was going 80 in a 65 or 85 in a 70. Either way, a sharp turn came up that I didn't see was sharp when I was coming up on it, so I was going too fast, I hit the cement dividers with the back left end of my car and lost control of my car. I actually was able to regain control without hitting anybody or anything further and fortunately when I did there was a great place to pull over and get control of my emotions. So I just took a quick breather and got back on the road but drove a lot slower and made it home ok.

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12 hours ago, André Toulon said:

Did you not have cars....why didn't yall just leave

The temperature and weather changed in the middle of the night very drastically after we had gone to bed. I got woken up at like 2 or 3 in the morning. Once we knew what was going on we got in our cars and turned the heaters on. No one left because why would we.

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7 hours ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

I tend to speed a lot on the freeway, but 99.99% of the time i do I'm in very familiar territory. One time I went to Vegas for a concert, and it was my first time ever driving outside of the state of California. It's about a 7 - 7 and a half hour drive and I'm making the up and back trip in one day, so of course I'm speeding. I tend to go 15 miles over the limit in the far left lane. Can't remember if I was going 80 in a 65 or 85 in a 70. Either way, a sharp turn came up that I didn't see was sharp when I was coming up on it, so I was going too fast, I hit the cement dividers with the back left end of my car and lost control of my car. I actually was able to regain control without hitting anybody or anything further and fortunately when I did there was a great place to pull over and get control of my emotions. So I just took a quick breather and got back on the road but drove a lot slower and made it home ok.

Yeah all of mine are some terrifying driving fuckups

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Well, I guess I have something to add, and it just happened about 2 hours ago. I was driving on the highway behind a truck. The metal girder (or whatever it's called) was loose. It eventually gave way, hit the road and had sparks from the friction. I quickly turned left, and fortunately no one was in the left lane. If I was tailgating him I would have been fucked.

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9 minutes ago, Nabreezy said:

Is this a part of the truck itself, or was it carrying metal girders and one came rolling off at you Final Destination style?

I don't think girder is the right word. It's the metal step below the bumper that allows people easier access into back.

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45 minutes ago, rpgamer said:

Almost curious what counts as "almost drowned" for some of you... cuz let me tell you, running low on air 50 feet down, that surface does not look like it gets any closer the whole way up.

Pulled off the bottom of a hotel pool.

Pulled out of a pond in a gravel pit. Multiple times. It was intentional. 

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Well, I was born with heart issues that required open heart surgery as an infant. And this was 1990 open heart surgery.

Besides that, all I can think of is that I've been hit by a car four times, and that I was also robbed while working a cash register by a guy who intended to commit suicide by cop.

It worked, by the way. :| 

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On 2/17/2022 at 7:27 PM, Vamped said:

I stepped in between the concrete side walk and the track to a roller coaster thinking there was a space in between them with a floor.

There wasn't. My whole leg up to top most point of my thigh was danging. This one lady pulled me up. I dunno if she was just super strong or it was the adrenaline but she pulled me out out of there before I could panic. And I still rode the thing.

 

The fucking Zippin Pippin .... XD 

Elvis' favorite roller coaster .... out there trying to die as a teen

 

Screenshot_20220217-192439_Chrome.jpg

Liberty land?

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