crackymckrackin

I replied chicken butt but in my heart it was deez nuts.

Never had one and haven't had anything even flu like since I was a little kid.

And look at boobs?

Was it a Buffet clarinet? My wife plays. Those damn things cost a small fortune.

I was offered a slot to do an orchestra tour in Europe, I served on a school board, I'm one of the most overly educated plumbers on the planet. I have more continuing legal education than most lawyers and finally I was the "worst mod ever" on the asmb.

Did you do sex? Birthdays are for doing sex......if you are married first.

We finally had a cold front come through last night so today it's supposed to be in the 80s.

Spray on antiperspirant is great for keeping your balls dry at work, prevents chafing. It's been in the upper 90s all week here.

Me and the wife went to a jewelry store to buy my mom a birthday present. We thought it would be nice to get her one of those bracelets that have all the kids birth stones. We go up to the young lady behind the counter and tell her that we need a bracelet with three stones, one for my older sister and two for me and my twin brother. She immediately asks, "is she the middle child?" Me: Yes, baby time travel is real. It scared the shit out of mom, but everything came out alright.

Are you saying you would suck a dick for diamonds?

Happy birthday dude. To bad sawd isn't here to say fuck off. I would but that's his schtick.

How I flirt: ass first.

Sex, nicotine, and caffeine. In that order, rince and repeat until desired effect is achieved.

Did you died? Yeah, you died.