rants Haters/Complainers: Legacy of Spleen

[Vamped]

So ...

 4 hours later and they haven't started on my car. I just had someone pick us up because the miniature started saying he was starving Starving STARVING. 

My sister called in sick, took a home covid test and she's got a faint line positive so she's going to get it confirmed 

.... >.> meanwhile they're talking about discharging my step-dad home despite the need for 24 hr care because the VA won't pay for anymore rehab so if my sister has covid ... I don't see how that's going to work 

[Sawdamizer]

I just fucking saw I’m rated a 4.91 on Uber… why are they reviewing us?!?! Like, dafuq? I get in the car, I don’t say a word… I only fart after I’ve left the car…

and it doesn’t provide additional feedback like, why? So this is some subjective ass bullshit…

that’s it… hold my cock…. The next Uber driver is gunnnnnnnna hear about it.

 

[Vamped]

Bruuuuh.  They said its still 4 cars they have to service before mine.

 

 

[André Toulon]

Patiently waiting for someone to make a nick Saban thread

[Poof]

On 5/17/2022 at 2:44 PM, Sawdamizer said:

I just fucking saw I’m rated a 4.91 on Uber… why are they reviewing us?!?! Like, dafuq? I get in the car, I don’t say a word… I only fart after I’ve left the car…

and it doesn’t provide additional feedback like, why? So this is some subjective ass bullshit…

that’s it… hold my cock…. The next Uber driver is gunnnnnnnna hear about it.

 

on average I'm 0.01 points a more pleasant passenger than you

[Poof]

fuck my stupid goddamn drug addled swiss cheese brain

i just did something so fucking dumb

god just shoot me

how do I even manage to get dressed in the morning? im so fucking dumb

[Seight]

POINT: Looking at info online tells me that the television station RTVI has more to do with the Russian-Jewish community in the United States than being any type of possible propaganda channel

COUNTERPOINT: It still seems weird to put the banner ad telling people it's back on your channel lineup right above the schedule guide for the international version of a Ukrainian news channel, random DirecTV guide...person. 

[mthor]

I hate those Skippy place commercials. It's peanut butter. Just peanut butter. Stop pretending that it combines the best features of pot and benzos.

[Poof]

this one has been a long time coming…

to people who tell me how many spiders I probably eat in my sleep on average: IT SEEMS MORE LIKE A PROBLEM FOR THE SPIDERS 

[Poof]

This guy claims he heard I was a witch. I thought he meant like I was old and mean but he insists that he means he heard I cast spells idk

[scoobdog]

1 hour ago, Poof said:

This guy claims he heard I was a witch. I thought he meant like I was old and mean but he insists that he means he heard I cast spells idk

Is that supposed to be a pick up line?

[Poof]

3 hours ago, scoobdog said:

Is that supposed to be a pick up line?

no he actually thinks im a witch we've been discussing it. I only have one spell active rn I'm hardly a witch

[Top Gun]

Do you weigh the same as a duck?

[scoobdog]

23 hours ago, Poof said:

no he actually thinks im a witch we've been discussing it. I only have one spell active rn I'm hardly a witch

One spell is all you need,

[Poof]

On 5/24/2022 at 4:24 PM, Top Gun said:

Do you weigh the same as a duck?

Tf does that suppose to me?

[Poof]

23 hours ago, scoobdog said:

One spell is all you need,

Sometimes.…

[Poof]

Now it’s time to walk through the hood in the rain to get to an atm

edit make that a thunderstorm

edit edit: I bought a sprite out of the vending machine on the way back and it gave me a sprite and a coke yay 😁 

Edited May 26, 2022 by Poof
Wish me luck!

[Top Gun]

12 minutes ago, Poof said:

Tf does that suppose to me?

It means that you need to watch better movies.

[Poof]

8 minutes ago, Top Gun said:

It means that you need to watch better movies.

The dark arts are not to be trifled

[katt_goddess]

18 hours ago, Poof said:

The dark arts are not to be trifled

Neither is Monty Python. 😮 

* * * 

Attention zombie hoards,

If you are shitting yourself inside-out don't go shopping. Stay the F home. You have that option. The people working at all the stores that you've shit your way through do not. 

And don't bitch about the state of the public toilets. You were the last one in there and managed to hit every seat from the handicapped stall with your anal blow-out. 

[Poof]

1 hour ago, katt_goddess said:

Neither is Monty Python. 😮 

* * * 

Attention zombie hoards,

If you are shitting yourself inside-out don't go shopping. Stay the F home. You have that option. The people working at all the stores that you've shit your way through do not. 

And don't bitch about the state of the public toilets. You were the last one in there and managed to hit every seat from the handicapped stall with your anal blow-out. 

Is… that part after the asterisks from Monty python??? I hope so…  I’m going pretend it is and that’s not a real anecdote 

[Poof]

I’m watching the fucking notebook and yes this is a rant

[katt_goddess]

36 minutes ago, Poof said:

Is… that part after the asterisks from Monty python??? I hope so…  I’m going pretend it is and that’s not a real anecdote 

Sadly, it's a real anecdote from the day in order to keep my post a complaint. Although I have no doubt that Monty Python would have had a field day with our toilets. 

The way the bathrooms are built in the building things tend to pool directly under the janitor closet if there's too much nasty activity. And today it was nothing but a steady stream of idiots with massive intestinal issues. You could smell the problem all the way out to the decorative scrapbooking pads and there wasn't anything that could be done because it wasn't coming directly from the bathrooms - it was smoking up through the drains from all the bathroom use. 

Stay home if you are shitting yourself. >.< 

[Ginguy]

Got a summons for jury duty in the mail today.

 

[PenguinBoss]

So I backed Eiyuuden Chronicles on Kickstarter and the shorter companion game came out on the 12th, and I still haven't gotten to play it. I didn't know I needed to connect my KS account to the site that is fulfilling orders, so I'll put that on me (Although I mentioned that in one of my first e-mails and they didn't find it prudent to give me access to it). Finally I got a code for Steam on Monday, and it was already used. Even though I sent another e-mail on Monday, they haven't gotten back to me, so it'll be at least 3 weeks after its release before I finally get to play something I paid for a year and a half ago.

[Chapinator_X]

“Tekken” is trending on Twitter regularly, but it’s never for news on a new game.

It’s always about some crappy midtier tournament nobody could possibly care about outside of the 16 people in Poughkeepsie or Ottawa who are participating. 

[André Toulon]

8 hours ago, Chapinator_X said:

“Tekken” is trending on Twitter regularly, but it’s never for news on a new game.

It’s always about some crappy midtier tournament nobody could possibly care about outside of the 16 people in Poughkeepsie or Ottawa who are participating. 

Those used to get me like a few years back, then I realized it's never any actual news so I ignore them now.

But mine often come from gaming sites

[Vamped]

Why would they make another Tekken? Where else can it go?

[Seight]

Me: "There are not any professional-sport-type jobs that I could do near as well as actual professionals."

Me watching the Monaco Grand Prix: "okay maybe I'd be better at being Ferrari's chief strategist"

[PenguinBoss]

I've been without a phone since Saturday, and every time I go to report it on ATT's website, I get an error. I was decidedly less pissed when it was a long weekend, even though that shit should be solved within minutes given how big the company is. And, what's worse is that I'm sure the issue is people cutting/stealing the line again, since that's been the monthly, sometimes weekly, problem the past 2 or 3 years. As far as I know, all they do is replace the line in what I imagine is a flimsy plastic box that some redneck can open in 5 seconds.

[Vamped]

Im about to start closing my office door around lunch time. I swear I dont know what it is about these old dudes that makes them think I want them. Another security guard 

First it was cool, we were just talking .... the awkward small talk I dont like but I'm polite so I do it. 

 

Now he's getting a little creepy .... referring to himself as big daddy and telling me dont cut my hair 

 

Bruh just leave me alone 

[Seight]

On 3/31/2022 at 8:58 PM, Seight said:

*checking the mail piece the mortgage company is sending someone per their investigation to make sure it is not wonky*

*part of it reads "You also claimed that the interest payments on your mortgage went to pay our employees. That is not true, the interest payments go to your loan originator, not us."*

LATER THAT VERY SAME BEE: "If you have any other questions or concerns, you may call this number."

Me, thinking: "Lol, I'm gonna get to send another one of these next month, aren't I?"

I was close. It was actually today, and I know this because part of the letter they're sending them is ^THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE and the page before it is basically a diplomatic financial company way of saying "Karen you insufferable wench we legally DON'T have to answer these questions every time you ask them!"

Spoiler

and then at the bottom "Please do not hesitate to contact us at" so this is probably at least a trilogy.

 

[PenguinBoss]

On 6/1/2022 at 3:34 AM, PenguinBoss said:

I've been without a phone since Saturday, and every time I go to report it on ATT's website, I get an error. I was decidedly less pissed when it was a long weekend, even though that shit should be solved within minutes given how big the company is. And, what's worse is that I'm sure the issue is people cutting/stealing the line again, since that's been the monthly, sometimes weekly, problem the past 2 or 3 years. As far as I know, all they do is replace the line in what I imagine is a flimsy plastic box that some redneck can open in 5 seconds.

It's that time of the week again. The line literally just went out (Phone rang once, then there was a lot of static, now nothing) and the website still isn't working a week later.

And of course, I have a psychiatrist appointment over the phone in the morning, so pretty much guaranteed that's not happening.

[Seight]

Do I take it as a bad sign that the Ollie's weekly ad has a Trump wall clock for sale or a good sign that nobody wanted to buy it at regular retail price?

Edited June 8, 2022 by Seight

[Seight]

From the creators of last year's "I Hope The Incredibly White NASCAR Fans Are Upset About Bubba Wallace Winning" comes a new story: "I Hope The Incredibly White NASCAR Fans Are Upset About Daniel Suárez Winning"

[Seight]

I saw an Applebee's commercial that had a Kiss song in the background

THE PROPECHY HAS BEEN FULFILLED 

[Vamped]

Fuck charting is boring 

[katt_goddess]

Start thinking 'hey, I might want to eat something today. There's a jar of sauce in the fridge that needs to get used up - I'll make spaghetti. Where's the nuke-that-shit boat hiding?' 

Realize that the microwavable spaghetti boat is in the dish washer and I didn't run it yet because it wasn't full. 

I wish my cheap ramen had all the stupid things on it like in the picture. 

[Seight]

Me looking at the job the self-propeller and mulcher on my mower were doing getting the high grass out of my backyard this morning:

[Vamped]

Its almost time for merit increases and the nurses are HOT. Somebody said everybody is only getting a 2.7% increase across the board. They are threatening to quit all on this company yammer. I dont usually look at this thing ... but they are going in. 

[Sawdamizer]

44 minutes ago, Vamped said:

Its almost time for merit increases and the nurses are HOT. Somebody said everybody is only getting a 2.7% increase across the board. They are threatening to quit all on this company yammer. I dont usually look at this thing ... but they are going in. 

My wife just got 6% increase, but she did 3 projects to guarantee that.

[Vamped]

21 minutes ago, Sawdamizer said:

My wife just got 6% increase, but she did 3 projects to guarantee that.

I dont take merit increases seriously because I always assume they know what they're going to give you ahead of time anyway. Plus I'm classified as support staff anyway 

[Sawdamizer]

6 minutes ago, Vamped said:

I dont take merit increases seriously because I always assume they know what they're going to give you ahead of time anyway. Plus I'm classified as support staff anyway 

I think it’s fucking dumb as shit that she has to do “projects” to get more of an annual increase, anyone in the medical field (doctors exception) should be paid move, regardless, and especially since the pandemic

[Vamped]

Bruh .... can't I just come to work, do my job and go home? 

 

 

I swear these old fucking men either dont understand what sexual harassment is or dont fucking care. I'm already trying to dodge this creepy ass security guard, now I have to mediate a conference with a patient and the clinic manager because this man is just sexually harassing everybody .... even the male nurse. 

He told this fucking man to go get a girlfriend then to bring her up here so he can show him how to clap her cheeks like a real man. 

This is in addition to comments he makes when people bend over. He's always talking about how "hard" he is when somebody tries to stick his access. 

WTF sir ... aint nobody got time for this. 

 

[Seight]

"How did somebody piss the mortgage company off enough that the response I have to print and send is 420^* pages?"

^{*Upon further review tho, nice.}

[katt_goddess]

I can now officially say that I have tasted 'Death Wish Coffee : The World's Strongest Coffee'. 

I chugged a full cup. It was bitter and sad. I only got about 4/5 of the way through one project and 1/4 of another. I feel like I should take a nap and I'm making a full pot of coffee right now just because. 

Death Wish, you have failed in your claim. Bad, coffee, bad!

[mthor]

37 minutes ago, katt_goddess said:

I can now officially say that I have tasted 'Death Wish Coffee : The World's Strongest Coffee'. 

I chugged a full cup. It was bitter and sad. I only got about 4/5 of the way through one project and 1/4 of another. I feel like I should take a nap and I'm making a full pot of coffee right now just because. 

Death Wish, you have failed in your claim. Bad, coffee, bad!

We had this discussion in FFA - it's no stronger than any other coffee, their directions just tell you to use twice as much. I don't mind it, but it's not my favorite; my son in law is fond of it now and again.

You want strong, you need Cafe Bustelo. I've never seen it in anything besides an espresso grind, and it packs both taste and a pretty good jolt of caffeine. The problem is, although it's fine going down, once it hits your stomach, it's pretty much kyrie eleison until it exits. And that's my nightshift gut - I'm not quite sure what it would do to yours beyond it being unpleasant.

[PenguinBoss]

In the continuing saga of AT&T's terrible service:

Phone's been out 3/4 of the month. Was down last weekend until Thurs. evening (Though, to their credit, it looked like something besides theft, at least partially). Woke up at like 6 AM to feed my cat and thought to check and yep, down again. I decide to file the report online, since the earlier the better and see that I have a new e-mail. It's my bill, with no price reduction. So, I sleepily made an angry tweet and went back to sleep.

To their credit, they fixed it by noon, but the tech confirmed it was theft again. They also sent me a tweet like "Hey, DM us with your billing issue." but I'd already paid because I'm not going through the trouble and told them as much and "Listen, people have been stealing the lines for months and months. Can't you do something about that?" I was told to contact my local police about it.

First of all, I live in the middle of nowhere and don't even have a police department, so no clue who that would be. Second, I don't really think it should be up to the police to protect a flimsy box some drunk can jimmy open whenever he needs beer money. And, doing something about it makes it so you don't have to come all the way out here in 90+ degree weather just to replace some cables. How is it on me and the police?

And btw, checked like 30 minutes ago and yep, down again... again.

[katt_goddess]

1 hour ago, mthor said:

We had this discussion in FFA - it's no stronger than any other coffee, their directions just tell you to use twice as much. I don't mind it, but it's not my favorite; my son in law is fond of it now and again.

You want strong, you need Cafe Bustelo. I've never seen it in anything besides an espresso grind, and it packs both taste and a pretty good jolt of caffeine. The problem is, although it's fine going down, once it hits your stomach, it's pretty much kyrie eleison until it exits. And that's my nightshift gut - I'm not quite sure what it would do to yours beyond it being unpleasant.

I know but I still wanted to try it. And it was offered in a concentrated cold brew can form so I didn't have to buy a whole tiny bag for $20 so hey, why not. But nothing. 

My cat has had farts stronger than this stuff. 

[scoobdog]

1 hour ago, PenguinBoss said:

In the continuing saga of AT&T's terrible service:

Phone's been out 3/4 of the month. Was down last weekend until Thurs. evening (Though, to their credit, it looked like something besides theft, at least partially). Woke up at like 6 AM to feed my cat and thought to check and yep, down again. I decide to file the report online, since the earlier the better and see that I have a new e-mail. It's my bill, with no price reduction. So, I sleepily made an angry tweet and went back to sleep.

To their credit, they fixed it by noon, but the tech confirmed it was theft again. They also sent me a tweet like "Hey, DM us with your billing issue." but I'd already paid because I'm not going through the trouble and told them as much and "Listen, people have been stealing the lines for months and months. Can't you do something about that?" I was told to contact my local police about it.

First of all, I live in the middle of nowhere and don't even have a police department, so no clue who that would be. Second, I don't really think it should be up to the police to protect a flimsy box some drunk can jimmy open whenever he needs beer money. And, doing something about it makes it so you don't have to come all the way out here in 90+ degree weather just to replace some cables. How is it on me and the police?

And btw, checked like 30 minutes ago and yep, down again... again.

What the hell are they stealing?