scoobdog

Okay.... This might actually be it. No idea why it took you 4 1/2 years to find it since you have nothing better to do than look shit like the up, but you can take the W on this one homey.

That's a lie, isn't it?

Happy birthday, Teddy Brosevelt.

Helps not even playing chess and he somehow checkmates.

Oh, you're helping all right.

It really sounds like your fantasies are about her giving you access to a world you're not a part of. Obviously, it's not just money: there are elements of academia, counter culture, and gender identity. She Is your way into a place where you belong.

What kind of romantic fantasies?

Then you need to channel that crush into a relationship that is more sustainable. Going for broke, as it were, only works when there is the potential for one outcome, no matter the improbability, being a good one. In your case, maybe the improbable outcome is a mentorship or a friendship. Nothing you've suggested so far is ostensibly romantic; they're closer to admiration than attraction.

I don't think you need to wonder about that. Anyway you look at it, you're putting her career in serious jeopardy by attempting to pursue a relationship. No matter the feelings that may or may not be there, the only way being with her can possibly end is in acrimony at best or tragedy at worst. And, I'm only saying that from a completely objective standpoint, not because I have a vested interest in you not finding love: the situation you're both in now is not conducive to planting the seed (figuratively) of a healthy, sustainable relationship because the cost versus reward for being in that relationship is not equal to both of you - you stand to benefit more than you would lose compared to her standing to lose more than she might benefit - in part because there are plenty of other women (or men, since we don't know what her orientation is) who won't ask her to either violate her oath as a medical practitioner to be in that relationship or cause her to give up her role as care giver.

No, because you don't need any more excuses to be lazy.

He would if he was pretending to be you. But, you're not nearly disingenuous enough to be a Nabs Alt.

Jenergy. Yeah, that's it.

A new Puff for a new world.