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His driver's license photo is a picture of himself dressed up as Mary Poppins at last year's Halloween party.

Is wanted for questioning in Tellico Plains, Tennessee in the disappearance of a popular birthday clown.

And for my homey down under the Boardwalk…

Thank you all guys. Shooting for Summer it looks like. Kids aren't out of the question. (Don't tell her I said that, would like some time with just me and her. ) But yeah good vibes all around, hope the New Year is treating you guys well.

Bought out Pitchfork magazine just so he could rename it to Pitchforks and Torches magazine.

Tops pancakes with cheese sauce and gummy bears.

He's married, not dead.

I hate it already.

Made this face when he overheard Ghostrek making horse noises in his bathroom

Dresses up as Judge Dredd when he's refereeing high school basketball games. Before the start of every game he always tells the players

Oh I’m fingering my pussy lips so fucking hard right now!

Sent a man’s picture to America’s Most Wanted because the man cut him off on the highway.

Has been positvely identified as the Fanny Pack bandit a cunning bank robber responsible for several hold up in the Atlanta metropolitan area. In these robbeires he's always sporting a fanny pack. A $25,000 reward is being offered for his capture. If you have any information about this bad seed please contact the Fulton County Sheriff's office, The FBI or call our toll free number... 1-800-YOU-SNITCH. You need not give your name.

He went RUUUHHHHH and slapped ghostrek across the head with a slab of freezer pops.

Two days ago he loaned classic swim a pick and a shovel and strangely enough he hasn't heard from Mr. Hoonie in two days.

Loves chocolate covered corn on the cob.

Also got Ghostrek in trouble after daring him to to put polka dotted boxer shorts on Michelangelo's David statue,

Was playing this as he was about to deck someone in the head.

Brought an airhorn to the Jef Dunham show and had some guy tumble down the steps in front of Jeff Dunham.

Taught sign language by showing a Comedy Central Dane Cook special from 18 years ago.

Met Dane Cook at a Starbucks, politely called him a useless hack, then calmly left.

he claims, this one time, at a henry rollins book reading, he decided to let him know his acting was barely, mediocre...at best.

Got married to this song

Hired Irwin R. Shyster to do his taxes.

Made sure to film this incident right before he switched all the meds in the psych ward with Tic Tacs.

Paid a psych ward to let him walk around the facility in his tighty whities while everyone was in a circle sharing.

Got Ghostrek in serious trouble when he dared him to draw a mustache on The Mona Lisa.

Turned into a talking werewolf puppet and bit Tsar’s face off.

turned down the roll for 'anton chigurh' because the director didn't care for his notes about using a portable judas chair.

Is currently writing a Star Trek TNG fanfiction where he reimagines Dr. Crusher as an intergalactic pro wrestling champion.

Turned the tomato hunt into an impossible quest by replacing the tomato with a spray painted handball and asked Mr Hoonie to bite in to make sure it really was the juiciest.

Has sold Mr. Hoonie homes on all six continents, at an average price of $1,000,000 over list.

Went to Mr Hoonie's house in Montreal and left a brown paper bag of flaming dog turds on his porch.

is the one that told 47 that greenland was up for grabs.

Had his friend’s dad blare an airhorn during a movie screening so some guy with popcorn would tumble down the steps.

I looked at some a long time ago. Came across a few attractive women in my age bracket on lavalife, but I had to sign off (after making note of the id for one of them who wanted a "nice stable relationship"). When I had the chance to go back, I apparently got into an "alternative" part of the site without realizing it. I searched for the id & the same woman was looking for a married couple to fuck. I checked & it was the same pic & id, then saw I had stumbled into the wrong section. I decided online dating wasn't for me.

Wants to open up a restaurant dedicated to dogs known as the Chateau Bow Wow.

A’HEWWW da big ass BITTTCHHHH don't KNOWWWWWWWW rule #3 is NO WISHING FOR MORE WISHES

And what's wild is that it's to a former member of the ASMB board, that I only had a few interactions with. Kind of crazy how life works. ASMB helped me so much. It gave me so many hours of fun discussions, helped me through dark times, it put me on the trajectory to get my CAD degree, my dream career, and now I met the love of my life on there without even realizing it at the time. Y'all have a special place in my heart that won't go away. Of course you fuckers are all invited, but it'll be in a separate reception hall since I know how all you are. In all seriousness guys, thank you so much, acquaintanceships, friendships, random people that I met once and forget about completely the next hour. You helped shape this chronically depressed young man into the fucking beast he is today. Thank you.

Sorry. I farted.