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My xmas tree this year

I just want you all to know…. I’m drunk and sentimental. I hope you all have a Merry Christmas tomorrow, and your Hanukkah was equally awesome.

is it scarier than young women "checking you out"

The most confusing, bleary-eyed week of the year, December 26th-January 2nd. I don't know what day of the week it is and I'm too scared to ask.

happy christmas. olive juice, old man.

I'm still impatiently waiting to open christmas presents.

Asleep by 10 pm on new years eve. *high fives* Those assholes better not be setting of fireworks. 😡

And may this year be better than the last. Low fucking bar, am I right?

🖕

Boy, have I! ...I mean what?

I dunno about that. Have you seen their porn?

that is the question. a conversion with me, and myself: me: why are you getting your jams jams off? me: becu- me: because nothing. we don't want to gets outs our jam jams me: i say call a vote! me: HERE HERE! me: all those that want to be in jams jams say aye! me, me, and me: AYE. me: **putting back on jam jams** there's a poppet. my cat: *licking his ass* google: *recording*

Seems as good a place as any to put this...

Amah-day-us

It's pronounced "how dare you speak to me" "Day-Us" is also acceptable

A-am I doing it right?

I too want a Grafted blade

Its times like these that proofreading will stop us from getting the wrong idea....

Always yells YEET! when he's on the toilet.

not really current event worthy, but this museum has to keep spending money to repair this wax figure because people keep punching it. happened in 2021, and now its gone again😆

Nice, same here, picked up the limited edition of season 1. Never got around to stream season 2 so I'll be watching it here.

the whole next episode??? oh wow

It's nice to see print tabloids are as crazy as ever. Standing in line in the grocery store I glanced The National Enquirer's cover headline: "Trump to solve Jonbenet murder."

Loves telling the story about the time he threw a rock at Batman.

Two weeks hours later...

I kept thinking it was Sunday

I'm pretty sure the day camp mum sent us to was giving us frozen soy sauce and duck sauce packets and calling them popsicles.

And when they’re together, there’s plenty of bees. Happy Birthday!

Just finished the moonshine he's leaving for Santa Claus tonight.

Has been on the naughty list since 1996 following that incident at a Walmart where she beat up an old lady over the last Tickle Me Elmo doll.

For a song called "piano man" it sure as fuck got hijacked by the harmonica man.