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Pumpkin pie does not suck, it just depends on who's making it. Now if you'll excuse I have an L that needs to be held.

alright. now just hold the fuck on. i make an EXCELLENT whip cream i make a most EXCELLENT pumpkin spice cupcake as well as some NASTY peach cobbler, AND super sweet pecan pie. i HONESTLY FORGOT WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THIS. but i'm leaving it. to show my shame.

People already do it's called Dasani

well damn...this went all the way lef.... HOLY SHIT, THE FABLED THANKSGIVING TURKEY THREAD😮 *Bags turkey* 🎤⤵️

Pumpkin pie is gross. Pumpkin everything is gross. YOU SHALL NOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE.

pecan or peach cobbler. all this other making pies outta just whatever is in the kitchen shit has to stop. but the cool thing is, i usually get the pecan pie and cobbler mostly to myself. except yesterday...I dont know who grandchild that was but I kinda wanted to fight him. How you just gonna take the whole pie off the table...but the cobbler was uncut, so I just took most of it instead. if his ass over there on Christmas, he catching this fade

Do you put whip cream on it?

Took Rebecca to the Thanksgiving Day parade. Zeni is currently in a fetal position.

Threw a water bucket at Mr. Hoonie because he forgot to take his pet barricuda out for a walk.

It might be worth mentioning that there is a crisis hotline for those who need it. If you have or have or have had any kind of suicidal thoughts, you can dial 988.

Home security system is based off the traps from the Home Alone movies.

I am sorry you are going through it, but if you are experiencing suicide ideation, you need to speak to your doctor or to a mental health professional. This is not a constructive venue for those kinds of conversations, none of us are professionals.

Is suing Mr Hoonie for unpaid rent. He's taking the case to Judge Judy.

Was playing this song when he lost his virginity

Still better than Dasani.

i have a special spice blend for just that i use it in my yams as well. i whip those up with heavy cream and add the marshmallow. i'm not a fan of the yams, but my FiL loves them and my daughter is back from WA and she loves them tl:dr good n plenty

The state of New Jersey is shaped like an ugly fuck.

Is getting ready for his annual Thanksgiving tradition of turkey boxing. It’s exactly what it sounds like. You put turkeys on your hands and…well…box.

That bitch murdered her bird. Exactly what do you have to do for its feet to fall off? Torture, I imagine. Go choke on a shittily cooked turkey leg.

Is currently facing over 25 felonious assault charges in 7 states for several assaults on mimes.

Calls Mr Hoonie a swamp donkey whenever he gets mad at him.

I don't think I'm ever gonna order Popeyes chicken again. Pretty disappointing and expensive. The sandwich is still fire though.

5:30 AM migraines can suck my fucking ass.

When he takes a shower, he takes a shower, and is now banned from Home Depot, Lowe's, Ace Hardware, and several independent plumbing suppliers.

Saved by the nonverbal autistic niece of mine. She almost climbed into her papa's casket. 🤣 we left to get nuggies and watch cocomelon at home.

Put Mr. Hoonie on the "do not ever rent to" blacklist.

I posted this before and I'm going to post it again, I fucking hate it when I go to watch Looney Tunes and the first cartoon they want to show is a Bugs Bunny cartoon from 1995 🤦🏿‍♂️ If they insist on showing Looney Tunes cartoons from the 90s and 2000s can they not it make the very first cartoon to show.

Stole a cardboard cutout of the mattress sheep mascot.

has been known to sit with a hair dryer, at the end of his driveway, pointed at the street, to discourage speeding cars.

Refuses to take a bath without her Daffy Duck rubber duckie.

Put "seeking an Olive Garden waiter who won't press charges" on his dating profile.

Was the jail guard who turned a blind eye when we all saw Judge Joe Brown take someone’s ass.

Was also arrested that day for filing a false police report.

He and Judge Joe Brown were both arrested together back in 2014.

Once owed Blockbuster a $2,000 late fee for The Sound Of Music.

Is renting his doghouse to Ghostrek

Is dedicated to the idea of naming his first born daughter Mulva.

refuses to NOT let kalgon take him away.

has been dodging colombia house for 17 years. owes them 21$

Still crank calls radio stations.

Him and Doom bought walkie talkies to save money on their phone bills.

A hat