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ghostrek we have to play with your choppie woppies before you end times nut on your YouTube feed

@[classic swim] come get your boy.

Pica-babies are the worst. Everything goes in the mouth. Is it food? Nope. Did you eat it anyway? Yep. Is your peach-pit-sized brain smooth as a pea? Absolutely.

Took a switch to Mr Hoonie's behind because he wouldn't eat his spinach.

I don't feel like searching for a Linda Blair gif right now.

the light pollution around the house made it not as awesome, but you can see the red here

Was the manager at the Cracker Barrel and was working that day when classic swim was barking like a sea lion over not being able to get angel food cake with 7 minute frosting.

I could bring Jesus Christ into this pawn shop and pluck his cunt hairs right in front of them and they still won’t take shit. In a building full of infinitely useless fucking garbage. But they’ll take Packard’s anal beads for 240 dollars.

Used to send kudo bars to users instead of liking their posts on the old boards.

Won this year's most offensive Halloween Costume Contest by dressing up as The Swedish Chef deep frying Big Bird.

I really hate that Liberty Mutual commercial with the baby in the stroller saying "liberty." I just wanna push the stroller into the water, along with the annoying ass mother.

Went to McDonalds and told the cashier that he will pay for a Big Mac on Tuesday for a Big Mac today and they gave it to him.

Always says "I dropped some logic bombs on your ass" every time he wins an argument.

Lost a rap battle to Neil deGrasse Tyson

grows this plant, primarily for 'artisan switches'

He is beauty but he sure ain’t grace Old photo he’s much larger…still dumb

Told Ghostrek he hears the secrets that he keep when he's talking on his sleep.

Got fired from his babysitting job after he changed a baby's diaper using gun power instead of baby power because he believed power is powder so difference would it make.

Threatened to sue Staples because they were out of staples.

Happy birthday Boosie

Left the Cheetah Lounge after finding out that weren't real cheetahs working there.

Told the manager of the Cheetah Lounge to step off when he accused Mr. Hoonie of throwing pillows at people.

Left Ghostrek at the Cheetah Lounge to fend for himself after he tried to pay for a lapdance with Monopoly money and Chuck E. Cheese tokens.

Gave Mr. Hoonie a demonstration of a sleeper hold after he used up all of the toiler paper.

stfu ... lol

Is writing a Jurassic Park fanfic starring Yoshi, Dino and Barney the Dinosaur.

My psych NP told me I didnt really need to see him anymore and my pcp can just prescribe me my meds. I looked dead at him and said "You don't want to see me anymore?" And then I think it made him uncomfortable. 🤣

Hit a Christmas Caroler in the face with a coconut custard cream pie with whipped cream after the caroler woke him up from a nap.

Sneezed at the exact moment his driver's license photo taken and as a result drives the exact speed limit.

Same, but with Airheads.

puts butterscotch on his pizza

Space forecasters say severe solar storms could hit Earth and trigger auroras the sky was red (always makes me think of 'night of the comet') and it reminded me of the fires in cali. come to find out, we could see them all the way down here. just red/pink my first time seeing the auroras, we had just moved to vermont, i had to climb on the roof to fix the antenna, because the dial would only move it so far. it was just me and my stepmonster, and we were watching some alien/space monster show...and the signal wasn't coming in well (that signal came from n.h.) so there i am, on the roof of a 2 story house looking at wave of different light, whites and greens and i just KNEW it was aliens. i was a very stupid child

Is the Sam in "Son of Sam."

Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

One thing I hate about beat em ups is during a tough ass boss fight you have to deal with random enemies getting the way of the fight it's like get the fuck out of the way. Final Fight might be the biggest offender of this.

Is afraid of eating Nerds candy because he thinks it’ll make him turn into a nerd.

Told Mr. Hoonie that she's going tear his hide until it glows in the dark after he let a fly in the house.

I really hate having to rely on grocery delivery because I can’t drive. I ordered some fried chicken from their deli and a couple of easy-to-cook packs of rice. I got the rice, but no chicken. The fuckers waited until after my delivery to tell me it was out of stock. They did refund it, but that’s not the point. Now I get to scrounge around for whatever other bullshit I can eat tonight.