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Parents took away his Teddy Ruxpin toy after he got busted putting a Wu-Tang Clan tape inside of it.

Also sleeps with a body pillow of Cyan.

Finally mastered the kaplowey spell from the Smurfs and plans on using on the first mime she sees.

Is in a Big Mountain Fudge Cake tribute band.

Has the entire Jem and the Holograms discography on vinyl.

aswome rigth

Crashes random large family events and tells the men they are the father.

Dressed as Crystal Snail for Halloween.... and also for Valentine's Day.

Ate the entire “Broodwich” and liked the sun dried tomatoes

Can't sleep without his chocobo plushie.

They don't call it Monday Night Raw for nothing.

Damn, that's how you porn you watch STARTS???

Won't be on the boards next summer because of his new job as the San Diego chicken.

Paid Disco 25 bucks to dunk a giant root beer float on top of someone’s head at a Mets game.

Eats his lunch on a see-saw every day.

Is in a KISS cover band called SMOOCH.

Created an online petition to get Judas Priest to change their name to Judas Chair.

Gets paid to pretend to be the boyfriend at large family events, and dinners.

This one’s actually true.

Puts salt on watermelon

Can’t eat chocolate ice cream without adding pepperoni to it.

Sleeps on a bed of nails.... and also can't sleep without his Papa Smurf plushie.

Cosplays as Lord of the Sith whenever he has to appear in court.

Cosplays as Cait Sith whenever he has to appear in court.

Ordered a clown for his nephew's birthday party.

Will fight anyone who says Batman Returns is not a Christmas movie.

Sidebar I have no shame in admitting that I actually a lot of Jem and the Holograms songs

Carries his lunch inside a Jem and the Holograms lunch box.

Performed a drive-by on the horsie ride outside the grocery store.

Carries his lunch inside a Mighty Mouse lunch box.

Tried to start a band called Megadeath but got a cease and desist letter from the attorney of Dave Mustaine, so he called his new band Megabirth instead.

Made Ghostrek sit on the Judas Chair because he wouldn't eat his liver and onions.

Is eating roast raccoon this Christmas.

happy Honda days

@Insipid @scoobdog @[classic swim] @Raptorpat happy hoildays

Puts salt on live snails..... then eats what's left.

This guy gets it! 😆

Came up with an idea for a funhouse where all walls are covered in bubble wrap, but shut it down when it got too expensive to keep replacing it.

All week I've had to come into work at 7:30 to make up time to come in late tomorrow. But god damn. Starting my days at 6 am and not getting home until 10-11pm is rough. (I work until 4:30 but then Im immediately babysitting at 5) I'm so tired. 😮‍💨 Gimme a blankey. Imma just nap under my desk. ... Also I accidently wore joggers instead of scrubs today. Whoops. Guess I'll be comfier all day.

Earned free pizza for life from Chuck E. Cheese when he dumped a box of diseased rats in the kitchen and complained to management about it.

Has a gang of raccoons follow him inside of Chuck E. Cheese, and one of the raccoons dropped a meth pipe in the ball pit.

Is the owner of the raccoon that was found passed out drunk at a liquor store. He's very disappointed that he fell off the wagon again.

Stuffs his pillow case with potato chips because he likes to feel the crunch.

Are raccoons just down bad right now. Last year the cops caught one with a meth pipe and now one was found passed out drunk in a liquor store bathroom.

looks like new yotk stirp stake to me

Watching someone out in public with their phone making a tiktok or whatever the hell their doing is surreal. Don't they realize how weird they look just randomly dancing in public or just walking around in public with your phone in your hand talking about some random random Internet bullshit. All the more reason why I don't going out in public because I don't want to get filmed by random ass weirdo.

Tried to cook mashed potatoes in a hot tub.