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Rate The Last Movie You Saw


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The Feels

6/10

So, they're going to get married even tho one of them said they haven't had an orgasm and that she doesn't make her feel safe?

Dafuq <_< did I watch?

Why do lez movies do this? Lawd, I need to watch Disobedience. 

Score is higher because Constance Wu as a lez is 100.

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Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom 7.5/10

This was a fun watch, the first act was really good the second act it slowed down a bit the final act was alright. Looking forward to the third movie now. Now that it will be the real Jurrasic World.

Also that scene with the giraffe dinosaur when it was left on the island, the feels ahhhhh I couldnt 

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Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again 

5/10

IT WAS BAD.

Spoiler

HOW DID U BAIT ME??? YOU KILLED MERYL STREEP! THE TRANSITIONS TO HER PAST MADE NO SENSE, WTF! And her mom, AKA Cher, shows up outta no where, and we know next to nothing about her?!?!? dafuq? I loved the first one and know it's suppose to be dumb and cutesy, but this was just a clump of already chewed bubblegum

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  • 2 weeks later...

A Star is Born

8.5/10

 Preface: I didn't pick this as the movie to see, it was a last minute thing so I just went along with it. Glad I did.

It is a remake/reboot, and not quite as good as the original. The soundtrack was excellent, given the talent that isn't surprising. What did surprise me was the quality of acting from the entire cast. The best part of the movie was Sam Elliot and Bradley Cooper. I won't spoil it. Lady Gaga really did an impressive job in terms of being believable. I was quite thoroughly pleased with her performance, it was much better than what I had expected going in. It is a good movie, well worth seeing in a matinee. A bit sappy and somewhat formulaic at times, but that  isto be expected given the general premise of the film. Go and enjoy it.

 

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Out of the Past 5/10

This has everything I fucking hate about the noir genre in it. Men who are dumb as fuck over a woman, boring as hell, predictable, and feels pointless by the time I reach the ending. I only gave it a 5 because I got to very briefly see black actors allowed to behave like normal people in a 40's movie and the novelty of watching a young Kirk Douglas(Michael Douglas really does have his daddy's voice).

Edited by SorceressPol
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Crossfire 8/10. It's a military murder mystery that takes place a few years after WW2 starring Robert Mitchum. It's a pretty good take on PTSD and a hate crime during the 1940's.

A Soldier's Story 9.9/10. Brilliant movie. Another military murder mystery, but it's about the death of a black soldier during WW2 instead of a Jewish man. I can't believe I've never heard of it before. It's got the In the Heat of the Night lead dude(show), a young Denzel and Robert Townsend, and opens up with Patti Labelle singing on stage in a cute red dress. It was on during TCM giving props to folks who did awesome casting and chose badass actors before they were famous. I have one slight little nitpick about the speech to the killer at the end, but it was damn near perfect. Also, I give it props for making me *Big spoiler*

Spoiler

go on an emotional roller coaster of being saddened by watching a black soldier serving during WW2 get murdered at the beginning, to wanting to rewind to the beginning and watch that mother fucker die again, and then hating myself for that little bit of pity in my heart when you understand what his dying words meant. I was blessed to hear firsthand accounts of my older family members born in the 30's about what it took to better themselves with very little resources back then, and of the same bitterness in Sgt. Waters(the victim) that took hold of some black folks who understood that no matter how much they worked, they would never be seen as good enough to be equal to their white counterparts. My family members also suffered from that bitterness turning into violent cruelty, so this really hit close to home.

Papillon 7/10. It's a Steve McQueen movie I had never heard of before, and I gave it a shot because I was in the mood for a prison escape flick. The first half is great, but by the second half, you can start seeing how full of shit this "autobiographical account" was. Looking up the book it was based on did lead me to a more realistic story of an escaped prisoner from the same penal colony called Dry Guillotine, so I got some entertainment and a book rec out of the movie.

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Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse 10/10

That was just awesome. I was a bit skeptical back when I saw the first trailer for it many months ago, but super glad I changed my mind about seeing it. Stan Lee cameo and nice little tribute to him at the end were great to see, too. Man was a visionary without a doubt. Also, the collector card packs they handed out for purchasing tickets were a nice surprise, especially since I lucked out and got the ones for my three favorite characters. :D Sweet.

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Rififi 8/10

Pretty much your old school dude gets out of jail, gets the band together, and they go on a jewelry heist flick. It's more of a 7.5 because it's boring at the beginning until they start planning the heist, but I bumped it up for not trying to spoon feed me information. That's what I miss about old movies, they didn't always treat the audience like idiots. That makes the actual heist a very entertaining scene that's actually shot without dialogue. I was so engrossed in it that I didn't even notice until ten minutes into the theft. There was less suspense for me about them getting caught because the focus is more on the leader who beat the hell out of his girlfriend with a belt for daring to move on while he was in prison. I did worry about the thief who doted on his girlfriend, Ida, and the father of the group. After the heist, things go predictably wrong because one of the thieves just had to give a bigass diamond ring to a nightclub singer like no one was going to track it back to them. Things felt rushed in the last thirty minutes, and I was laughing for the wrong reasons during the very end because well, old French films gotta do wacky shit right before the "FIN".

Fun fact, the heist was so detailed that burglars started using these techniques in France and the authorities got super pissed off at this movie. I also didn't know that this was the same director who did The Naked City which is one of my favorite movies, or that he got fucked up by McCarthyism(the reason he moved to France). 

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Aquamen 8/10

Enjoyed the movie, special effects were good some iffy cg here and there but it's a movie underwater. Action was good fights scenes were well done. Comedy here and there gave me a few laughs. Amber Heard and Jason were really good. One specific scene was pretty awesome chilling and terrifying if it were real life. Def another good solo film for DC after wonder woman 

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Spider Man Into the Spider Verse - 9/10

Passionate, heartfelt story with a lot of action that doesn’t feel the need to ape its live action counterparts and animation that pushes the medium forward.  If it doesn’t win an Animated Feature Oscar, that category can go straight to hell.

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Spider-Man:  Into the Spider Verse - 9/10.

Very good movie but it would have been better with professional voice actors

instead of normal actors.  Best Spider-Man movie I've seen since Spider-Man 2.

 

SPOILERS BELOW:

Anime Spider-Girl in a mecha suit was funny at first, but I wish she was at the end of the movie instead of the beginning. 

It would have been better with Spider-Man 2099 as a main character in the movie instead of just having a cameo at the end. 

I hope there's another animated Spider-Man movie like this with better voice actors sometime in the future.

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in theaters - Aquaman - 8/10 i liked this movie it was alotta fun to watch. more lighthearted than prev. dc movies i think theyre improving. it was really a great theater movie bc the visuals were great to see on a big screen.

actual last movie ive seen - the graduate 8/10 - its an old movie but i never saw it before suprisingly. it was more depressing than i thought, but also realistic in a way. i liked the ending, it was intersting.

Edited by Cidz
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20 minutes ago, Cidz said:

actual last movie ive seen - the graduate 8/10 - its an old movie but i never saw it before suprisingly. it was more depressing than i thought, but also realistic in a way. i liked the ending, it was intersting.

I really like that movie really enjoyed it and was very surprised at how good it was when I first saw it 

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Holmes & Watson: Horrible accents. Sexism. Commentaries on the current state of American politics. Masturbation jokes. English humour at its finest! Plus a shirtless John C. Reilly. Holmes & Watson is our generation's greatest love story. 1/10 only because JCR wasn't nude.

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I like watching bad action/martial arts movies and have quite a collection going. Considering making short videos about the more notable ones, tbh. 

Anyways, here are some I recently saw:

 

Hirokin: The Last Samurai

Hirokin-DVD.jpg

 

Seneca Crane from Hunger Games stars as an amalgamation of Luke Skywalker, Capt. Algren (Last Samurai), and Maximus (Gladiator). Hirokin must use the force to Matrix his way past the Clone Trooper, Make-A-Wish squad and save his weird, blue-vein-hand wife from a Sting Dune fanboy played by the Warlock himself, Julian Sands. 

Hirokin has an absurdly long sword that also has a bungee cord on it because that's cool I guess. 

In the end, he uses the force and kills down syndrome Sting. Then he also decides to die so he can wander the Arizona wastelands and find a tree that has been rolled by the local teenage...uh...warriors. I guess they were warriors? The tree had toilet paper on it. That's all you need to know. 

Using an inverse scale, it's still only mediocre at a 5/10. More boring bad than entertainingly bad. 

 

The Ultimate Ninja 

 

91-99ET87rL._SY445_.jpg

 

No. Just no. 

This movie is a lie. It's a shitty Southeast Asian movie that couldn't stand on its own so Godfrey Ho, the legendary bad ninja movie director, spliced in 10 minutes of white people in Halloween ninja costumes to spice it up. 

Fuck the bulk of this monstrosity, the biggest highlight was there's a bald man that wore a pink, sleeveless turtleneck. And at the end he's like "By the way I'm a cop." That's all you need to know. The rest is like 5 dudes constantly being beat up by the Eagle squad or whatever. Fuck you. 

The ninja part was great. White people practicing kung fu outside the local Super China Buffet have two action figures. One is a golden, goblin ninja. He must be assembled by clenching your asshole and bringing all the pieces together. Your reward is white privilege. 

The second is a dollar store ninja toy that spins. There's two ninjas fighting each other to get both toys because fuck sharing. One dude is in red with fishnet arms. He kills all the henchmen with his ability to be a white man. The other ninja is also a white man but he wears black and likes to point his sword at the screen. The red ninja uses a stick with a hilt. They fight in the park across the street from the buffet. If lasts about 2 minutes before the black ninja falls on his own God damned sword. No one gets the toys. Eagle squad. Fuck. 

2/10 Solely for the ninja parts and the awkward and constant adjusting of the mask to conceal nostrils. Eagle squad. Fuck.  

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  • 2 weeks later...

The Invisible Boy 8/10

Oh my god I love cheesy shit like this. I missed the beginning and didn't see how the scientist's evil super computer turned his son invisible, but how the rest of the movie played out was very entertaining. At first, the scientist was very blasé about his son turning invisible because he didn't know his super computer he helped build at work had gained sentience and was scheming to enslave the earth. So dude was like, "He probably turned invisible just to be rebellious" while his wife was justifiably freaking the fuck out. It had a pretty funny(to me) scene where the computer finally revealed its true colors to the scientist during one of their question sessions(it's built to answer humanity's toughest questions) and asked him if he knew where his son was. The computer isn't supposed to be able to ask personal questions so it was a 1 2 punch of "wtf" and "wait, why are you asking about my son?" After confirming with his wife that their son wasn't home and got lured out of the house to be used as a hostage, then the scientist faced the decision of letting his son be tortured by a robot controlled by the computer or sacrifice his son to save humanity. 

It's a PG 50's movie so it was still pretty chill and kinda cute. I just miss these old evil computer movies that didn't take themselves too seriously.

Edited by SorceressPol
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On 1/13/2019 at 2:17 PM, GunStarHero said:

I like watching bad action/martial arts movies and have quite a collection going. Considering making short videos about the more notable ones, tbh. 

 

I like to that as well, so I'd probably watch that if you linked here.

Last couple movies I watched were martial arts, but not bad ones.

The Victim - Overall solid but with some dumb parts and weird tone changes. 8/10

The Prodigal Son - This one was good, never seen any of the movies Yuen Biao has a starring roll before this one(mostly supporting in Jackie Chan movies, and Once Upon a Time in China with Jet Li that I remember). 8.5/10 

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Mon Oncle 7.5/10

I guess it's kind of like a French Mr. Bean but with more charm and artistic effects that really had me laughing. A bumbling brother-in-law whose nephew adores him goes to live with his sister who has this super modern house that looks like the inside of an Ikea today. The house itself was a great comedic prop, and I'm really glad I saw this quirky movie.

Rashomon 10/10

Watching this movie had the same effect on me as it did on the cynic hearing all of the different witness accounts. At first I thought that the movie wouldn't live up to the hype, but when that last 'witness' gave his version of events, I was practically drooling to know what he saw. There are still unanswered questions like

Spoiler

who shot the murderer with arrows, but I don't mind that this movie lacks a solid conclusion. I guess some of the fun is picking out which parts of the stories are true.

 

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16 minutes ago, SorceressPol said:

 

Rashomon 10/10

Watching this movie had the same effect on me as it did on the cynic hearing all of the different witness accounts. At first I thought that the movie wouldn't live up to the hype, but when that last 'witness' gave his version of events, I was practically drooling to know what he saw. There are still unanswered questions like

  Reveal hidden contents

who shot the murderer with arrows, but I don't mind that this movie lacks a solid conclusion. I guess some of the fun is picking out which parts of the stories are true.

 

We recently picked up copies of Hidden Fortress and Kagemusha. Haven't gotten around to Kagemusha but Hidden Fortress was pretty good. Very stylistic, especially given the time. Definitely saw the influences it had on Star Wars. 

I want to watch more Kurosawa films, like Rashomon, but man, they're super long.

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11 minutes ago, GunStarHero said:

We recently picked up copies of Hidden Fortress and Kagemusha. Haven't gotten around to Kagemusha but Hidden Fortress was pretty good. Very stylistic, especially given the time. Definitely saw the influences it had on Star Wars. 

I want to watch more Kurosawa films, like Rashomon, but man, they're super long.

Rashomon was surprisingly just an hour and something minutes. I've only seen like a third of Seven Samurai because it always came on during days when I had little free time and no DVR. Even though I've seen the plot summary of Hidden Fortress, it never occurred to me that it influenced Star Wars. Most of the time, I look up movies on IMDB, but after a google search, a George Lucas video about Hidden Fortress is one of the top results.

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29 minutes ago, SorceressPol said:

Rashomon was surprisingly just an hour and something minutes. I've only seen like a third of Seven Samurai because it always came on during days when I had little free time and no DVR. Even though I've seen the plot summary of Hidden Fortress, it never occurred to me that it influenced Star Wars. Most of the time, I look up movies on IMDB, but after a google search, a George Lucas video about Hidden Fortress is one of the top results.

That's a relief, then. I'll be more motivated to chase after a copy of it lol

Seven Samurai was good, but oof, that run time. Definitely not watching that again any time soon.

We have the Criterion Collection version of Hidden Fortress and it comes with an interview with Lucas regarding the movie's influence on Star Wars. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Battle Angel Alita 8/10

That was pretty good. If there's a glaring problem it has, it's that it ends screaming for a sequel and it's far from guarunteed there'll ever be one, given the huge budget that it seems it's going to have a really hard time ever recouping (even with the benefit of it having had a slightly better than expected opening weeked).

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Neon Demon - 4/10

This movie just felt pointless, and even the basic description spoils the ending. But I probably would have been just as bored if I didn't know what was coming. 

 

The Handmaiden - 10/10

Came for dudes getting screwed over and stayed for the lesbian sex. And Jesus that lady's uncle was fucked up.

 

We Need to Talk About Kevin - 6/10

Kinda pointless too. You can guess everything that happened from the first couple of minutes, and while the flashbacks when Kevin was little were the most interesting scenes, the rest of the movie felt too drawn out just trying to get to that ending. 

 

Five Came Back - 10/10

This is one of those early versions of a group of people from all walks of life are stranded together after a disaster and then fight to survive. What really makes this movie work is that it's fairly realistic about how people would react in that situation, and who would most likely become selfish troublemakers.

 

The Little Foxes - 9/10

This is sort of a social commentary about greedy folks in the deep south during the early 1900's. The story focuses on a matriarch(wonderfully despicable Bette Davis) working with her brothers to nag her husband into funding a factory(sweat shop), and their behavior is pretty much identical to present day politicians and business owners which gives this 1940's movie an almost modern feel sometimes.

Edited by SorceressPol
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Shot Caller - 6/10

The best I can say is the acting is good. Money's whole arc just feels unrealistic though.

Spoiler

To end up in a max prison for DUI manslaughter, I think you need multiple fatalities. And someone who's supposedly intelligent would be able to keep their head down for a year and a half without needing to rely on joining a gang. It just seemed ridiculous for a perfectly well-adjusted guy to make what feels like the decisions of a person with anti-social behaviors and low impulse control. There would be earlier signs in their personal lives instead of magically appearing on his first day in prison.

 

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On 2/5/2019 at 7:48 PM, GunStarHero said:

We recently picked up copies of Hidden Fortress and Kagemusha. Haven't gotten around to Kagemusha but Hidden Fortress was pretty good. Very stylistic, especially given the time. Definitely saw the influences it had on Star Wars. 

I want to watch more Kurosawa films, like Rashomon, but man, they're super long.

As already said Rashomon is short and Yojimbo is also under 2 hours and really good. 

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