A massive loser in love asking for your advice

[Doom Metal Alchemist]

So there is this incredibly hot chick I occasionally see at work. I barely see her because she works on mostly different days than me (we used to work on the same schedule, but I eventually transferred to a different schedule, now we only have one work day in common), she works in a different department, and she takes her breaks in different break areas than I do. I take my breaks in the break areas I do out of convenience and the ones she (probably) takes her breaks at her too long of a walk from wear I am working.

I really want to ask this girl out, but I feel I have no way of getting to know her first because of the above. Would it be creepy or whatever that the next time we randomly cross paths for me to just introduce my self to her, tell her I've noticed her around the building and because I feel there's no way we'll get to know each other otherwise, and ask her if she would want to hang out sometime?

Note that I'm pretty sure she has noticed me like I have noticed her, it just seems she is very aware of me. I probably made it obvious (accidentally) the first time I saw her. But I don't know if she's thinking "there's that cute guy that probably likes me" or "there's that creepy guy that probably likes me."

[Naraku4656]

1 minute ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

I really want to ask this girl out, but I feel I have no way of getting to know her first because of the above. Would it be creepy or whatever that the next time we randomly cross paths for me to just introduce my self to her, tell her I've noticed her around the building and because I feel there's no way we'll get to know each other otherwise, and ask her if she would want to hang out sometime?

yes it would, don't do this.

[André Toulon]

Don't listen to awful Narkew....Look man, It feels weird saying this to an adult, but always take the shot.  Girls are not scary.....Annoying, but not scary.  Just ask her for her number (or FB or whatever it is you kids do now) and find a way to talk to her outside of work.  One thing that I've noticed is that women respond to interest.  As long as you don;t stink or look slimey, you got a chance....Don't sell yourself short, have confidence, and I would say be funny....But I'm not sure if you should try that in person since I only know ya from here.

Also, pics....I need to see this chick

[That_One_Guy]

Try to drum up a conversation first. If it goes well ask if she wants to chill outside of work. Avoid the word date for now.

[Naraku4656]

1 minute ago, That_One_Guy said:

Try to drum up a conversation first. If it goes well ask if she wants to chill outside of work. Avoid the word date for now.

this but i'd still be VERY wary about any sort of relationship with a coworker

Edited May 15, 2019 by Naraku4656

[Naraku4656]

4 minutes ago, Sho Minamimoto said:

Don't listen to awful Narkew....Look man, It feels weird saying this to an adult, but always take the shot.  Girls are not scary.....Annoying, but not scary.  Just ask her for her number (or FB or whatever it is you kids do now) and find a way to talk to her outside of work.  One thing that I've noticed is that women respond to interest.  As long as you don;t stink or look slimey, you got a chance....Don't sell yourself short, have confidence, and I would say be funny....But I'm not sure if you should try that in person since I only know ya from here.

Also, pics....I need to see this chick

never shit where you eat, dude.

[André Toulon]

Just now, Naraku4656 said:

never shit where you eat, dude.

That's coward talk....I talked to a few girls I worked with....It's not as damning as people make it seem. In fact, in my experience, it make things easier when you have someone to help the day go by.  

I figure this stance comes from the insecurity that it goes bad and you have to see this person on a perpetual basis....But to that I say just grow a pair.....These are just people, not demons.

[That_One_Guy]

Also consider what naraku said about dating a coworker. At least understand that if shit goes bad things could be awkward at work. But ultimately it's up to you whether that deters you or not 

[scoobdog]

I don't really have an opinion other than to say that Worst Naraku is the last person you should be getting relationship advice from... or work advice.... or home buy advice...

[Naraku4656]

1 minute ago, Sho Minamimoto said:

That's coward talk....I talked to a few girls I worked with....It's not as damning as people make it seem. In fact, in my experience, it make things easier when you have someone to help the day go by.  

I figure this stance comes from the insecurity that it goes bad and you have to see this person on a perpetual basis....But to that I say just grow a pair.....These are just people, not demons.

if this is a McJob then by all means, who cares. if this is corporate, never risk getting a nasty HR write up because they become spiteful? that's a great way to kill a career.

[scoobdog]

3 minutes ago, Naraku4656 said:

if this is a McJob then by all means, who cares. if this is corporate, never risk getting a nasty HR write up because they become spiteful? that's a great way to kill a career.

Why do you assume she's going to be spiteful if things don't work out?

[Naraku4656]

3 minutes ago, scoobdog said:

I don't really have an opinion other than to say that Worst Naraku is the last person you should be getting relationship advice from... or work advice.... or home buy advice...

life's more complicated than "WOMAN PRETTY, ME WANT" the man asked an open question and he should consider the possible risks. if he doesn't care then that's his prerogative

[André Toulon]

3 minutes ago, Naraku4656 said:

if this is a McJob then by all means, who cares. if this is corporate, never risk getting a nasty HR write up because they become spiteful? that's a great way to kill a career.

LOL

[André Toulon]

Just now, scoobdog said:

Why do you assume she's going to be spiteful if things don't work out?

insecurity.....He's not an adult.

[scoobdog]

Just now, Naraku4656 said:

life's more complicated than "WOMAN PRETTY, ME WANT" the man asked an open question and he should consider the possible risks. if he doesn't care then that's his prerogative

Which is why you started out with a strong "don't do it" instead of a more nuanced (if no less histrionic) tally of the risks.

[Doom Metal Alchemist]

18 minutes ago, Sho Minamimoto said:

Don't listen to awful Narkew....Look man, It feels weird saying this to an adult, but always take the shot.  Girls are not scary.....Annoying, but not scary.  Just ask her for her number (or FB or whatever it is you kids do now) and find a way to talk to her outside of work.  One thing that I've noticed is that women respond to interest.  As long as you don;t stink or look slimey, you got a chance....Don't sell yourself short, have confidence, and I would say be funny....But I'm not sure if you should try that in person since I only know ya from here.

Also, pics....I need to see this chick

No pics, I forgot to mention, I don't even know her name (like I said I would have to introduce myself to her, I'm sure she doesn't know my name either).

[scoobdog]

Just now, Sho Minamimoto said:

insecurity.....He's not an adult.

As he has proven on many occasions.

[Doom Metal Alchemist]

15 minutes ago, That_One_Guy said:

Try to drum up a conversation first. If it goes well ask if she wants to chill outside of work. Avoid the word date for now.

The problem is, whenever I see her, it's while I am about to go do my job either at start of shift or after break, so I have no time to start a conversation when I see her.

Yeah, I am definitely avoiding the word "date," since I can't even get to know her actually during work. I figured I'd say "want to hang out sometime?"

[Naraku4656]

1 minute ago, Sho Minamimoto said:

insecurity.....He's not an adult.

or

https://www.forbes.com/sites/lisaroepe/2018/03/24/here-are-5-questions-to-ask-before-dating-a-co-worker/#3706c5a358a6

it's

https://www.monster.com/career-advice/article/office-romance-danger-ahead

just

https://www.wsj.com/articles/can-you-still-date-a-co-worker-well-its-complicated-1517913001

common

https://hbr.org/2019/02/how-to-approach-an-office-romance-and-how-not-to

sense

 

[Greeny]

I was going to give you some advice but then I remembered who I am.

[Doom Metal Alchemist]

8 minutes ago, That_One_Guy said:

Also consider what naraku said about dating a coworker. At least understand that if shit goes bad things could be awkward at work. But ultimately it's up to you whether that deters you or not 

We see each other so infrequently and people in my department have no contact with people in her department so I'm not at all worried about bad shit happening if a relationship happens but goes south.

[André Toulon]

2 minutes ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

No pics, I forgot to mention, I don't even know her name (like I said I would have to introduce myself to her, I'm sure she doesn't know my name either).

Ok, well first thing first...."My name is doomer (don't say doomer, use your real name)....I just wanted to say hi"

Bam, first hurdle done

[Doom Metal Alchemist]

2 minutes ago, Naraku4656 said:

or

https://www.forbes.com/sites/lisaroepe/2018/03/24/here-are-5-questions-to-ask-before-dating-a-co-worker/#3706c5a358a6

it's

https://www.monster.com/career-advice/article/office-romance-danger-ahead

just

https://www.wsj.com/articles/can-you-still-date-a-co-worker-well-its-complicated-1517913001

common

https://hbr.org/2019/02/how-to-approach-an-office-romance-and-how-not-to

sense

 

I'll read those later, I have to start getting ready for work in like 10 minutes.

[scoobdog]

2 minutes ago, Naraku4656 said:

or

https://www.forbes.com/sites/lisaroepe/2018/03/24/here-are-5-questions-to-ask-before-dating-a-co-worker/#3706c5a358a6

it's

https://www.monster.com/career-advice/article/office-romance-danger-ahead

just

https://www.wsj.com/articles/can-you-still-date-a-co-worker-well-its-complicated-1517913001

common

https://hbr.org/2019/02/how-to-approach-an-office-romance-and-how-not-to

sense

 

You know what every single one of those articles has in common?  The "common sense" you speak of revolves around mutual respect.

[André Toulon]

2 minutes ago, Naraku4656 said:

or

https://www.forbes.com/sites/lisaroepe/2018/03/24/here-are-5-questions-to-ask-before-dating-a-co-worker/#3706c5a358a6

it's

https://www.monster.com/career-advice/article/office-romance-danger-ahead

just

https://www.wsj.com/articles/can-you-still-date-a-co-worker-well-its-complicated-1517913001

common

https://hbr.org/2019/02/how-to-approach-an-office-romance-and-how-not-to

sense

 

Sigh

[discolé monade]

man, just ask her to lunch. you work together one shift. 

there is absolutely no harm in asking a co worker you would like to know to lunch. 

is this job your career? do you plan on being a dick? if you answered no, then..dude....just ask her to lunch. 

[Raptorpat]

i had a dream monday night

naraku4656 was going on a tinder date with emilia clarke's character from game of thrones after that last episode and the date went horribly because of how awkward naraku4656 was

take this as you will

[Naraku4656]

1 minute ago, scoobdog said:

You know what every single one of those articles has in common?  The "common sense" you speak of revolves around mutual respect.

you know what else they also have in common? detailing the risk involved. "mutual respect" can very easily go out the window, and then you're left with someone who can air your dirty laundry with the people you have to work with all day long, or worse HR.

[André Toulon]

2 minutes ago, Admin_Raptorpat said:

i had a dream monday night

naraku4656 was going on a tinder date with emilia clarke's character from game of thrones after that last episode and the date went horribly because of how awkward naraku4656 was

take this as you will

Don't ever tell us what you dream about again.

Epic derail....I'm hungry.....I hate that Subway is my go to

[Naraku4656]

3 minutes ago, Admin_Raptorpat said:

i had a dream monday night

naraku4656 was going on a tinder date with emilia clarke's character from game of thrones after that last episode and the date went horribly because of how awkward naraku4656 was

take this as you will

i've never seen that show. so it'd probably go bad more cause idk who that is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[bnmjy]

My best advice is not to let this build up too much. There is a chance of getting rejected, and in that case do not feel bad. Just move on. Be glad that you at least took the chance.

[Raptorpat]

3 minutes ago, Naraku4656 said:

i've never seen that show. so it'd probably go bad more cause idk who that is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i mean, that it was her character instead of like marisa tomei or margaret thatcher doesn't particularly matter, i think it was a fill in because i happened to watch it earlier that night and that's what my brain plugged in

dunno why i was dreaming about your romantic life tho, but it definitely felt topical given everyone's piling on your advice

[Naraku4656]

Just now, Admin_Raptorpat said:

i mean, that it was her character instead of like marisa tomei or margaret thatcher doesn't particularly matter, i think it was a fill in because i happened to watch it earlier that night and that's what my brain plugged in

dunno why i was dreaming about your romantic life tho, but it definitely felt topical given everyone's piling on your advice

yeah really why are you dreaming about me out of all people?

[Raptorpat]

[midnight]

I'd make an introduction first. 

Next time you see her, say, excuse me, but I've noticed you from time to time, and was curious as to what your name is. My name is Doom. Or whatever it really is. And just go from there. Then wait a week or two, before asking her to lunch. Make small talk the next week or two, leading up to the lunch thing. 

For all you know, she could be happily married. Just play it cool.

[Naraku4656]

1 minute ago, Admin_Raptorpat said:

 

[midnight]

Or, tell her you want to eat her asshole. She could be a fuggs and want to suck your dick on the spot. 

[garbagepailcat]

Be friendly and introduce yourself. Read her response. If it seems like you’re just annoying her, leave her be. Don’t mistake politeness for mutual interest. Once you’ve built a rapport, ask her to lunch or out for drinks or coffee. Something low pressure. 

[garbagepailcat]

And if you guys barely see each other at work, it’s prob not much of a risk. 

[scoobdog]

24 minutes ago, Naraku4656 said:

you know what else they also have in common? detailing the risk involved. "mutual respect" can very easily go out the window, and then you're left with someone who can air your dirty laundry with the people you have to work with all day long, or worse HR.

And we're back to the immaturity thing.  Maybe don't mess with sketchy chicks if you're that worried "'mutual respect' can very easily go out the window" and she's going to back stab you.  Chicks that would blow you up for no reason are sociopaths, and the vast majority of women you encounter are not sociopathic. 

[Vamped]

I would just speak to her first, make an effort to greet her and then build up to small talk and see how that goes. Then ask her to go out for coffee or a drink after work.

 

I wouldnt jump in with lets date or I like you.... that kinda stuff creeps me out. 

[StarPanda]

Even if you ask her out and she says no then cool, you dont see her enough at work so it wont be awkward 

Best of luck just go for it 

[Distortedreasoning]

just insert yourself without being too over doing it. ask her exactly what she does and about any work related stuff. that way you get a conversation going. after that you can find out more once the conversation goes away from the work topic. 

[Poof]

So it's just bc she's incredibly hot and you don't know anything else about her?

[André Toulon]

You know what, just bail out....Be a virgin forever, it's not worth it.  You ever contemplated smothering a bitch in her sleep, but realize you're not a closer and it'll always be awkward from now on and you'll be the only one laughing when one day at lunch you'll be like "Hey, remember that time i tried to kill you".....No, no you haven't....Keep it that way.

[Doom Metal Alchemist]

13 hours ago, bnmjy said:

My best advice is not to let this build up too much. There is a chance of getting rejected, and in that case do not feel bad. Just move on. Be glad that you at least took the chance.

Yeah, high school me learned from the School of Hard Knocks not to let unrequited crushes build up too much. And I'm generally ok with rejection, and I ask out women so infrequently that when I do, and even when they turn me down, I am proud of myself for actually going for it.

[Doom Metal Alchemist]

13 hours ago, midnight said:

Or, tell her you want to eat her asshole. She could be a fuggs and want to suck your dick on the spot. 

I'm not a fan of anuses. Doesn't matter whose it is.

[Doom Metal Alchemist]

6 hours ago, Poof said:

So it's just bc she's incredibly hot and you don't know anything else about her?

Basically.

[Age of S'jet]

16 hours ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

So there is this incredibly hot chick I occasionally see at work. I barely see her because she works on mostly different days than me (we used to work on the same schedule, but I eventually transferred to a different schedule, now we only have one work day in common), she works in a different department, and she takes her breaks in different break areas than I do. I take my breaks in the break areas I do out of convenience and the ones she (probably) takes her breaks at her too long of a walk from wear I am working.

I really want to ask this girl out, but I feel I have no way of getting to know her first because of the above. Would it be creepy or whatever that the next time we randomly cross paths for me to just introduce my self to her, tell her I've noticed her around the building and because I feel there's no way we'll get to know each other otherwise, and ask her if she would want to hang out sometime?

Note that I'm pretty sure she has noticed me like I have noticed her, it just seems she is very aware of me. I probably made it obvious (accidentally) the first time I saw her. But I don't know if she's thinking "there's that cute guy that probably likes me" or "there's that creepy guy that probably likes me."

yea dude just gotta be confident and not be awkward

literally the two most attractive things to a woman

youre putting the pussy on the pedestal

dont do that

dont make a plan to talk to her or anything like that

just talk to her more often get to know her

find some common ground and go from there.

 

edit:

you can literally open with 'hey how are you doing' one day

next day do the same thing

third day get her name

4th day ask her if she wants to grab grub

 

Edited May 16, 2019 by The_Hound

[fuggstop]

i agree most with what the Hound says. Treat her like a person. You wouldnt go up to a GUY you never talked to and ask them to hang out with you, right? Well, dont do that to a girl. Talk to her and at least get a name and find out of if you have interests in common and can actually carry on a convo before you ask her to hang out outside of work. Just because you find her attractive doesnt mean she wont annoy the fuck outta ya.