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UnevenEdge

A massive loser in love asking for your advice


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And now we see which people read long posts in their entirety.

You could always bring up the show when you go out for tacos, or just someplace you think has really good food. If things go well, bam, second date at a concert, where doing something after usually happens. Plus a concert can be a meet up date, zero pressure on either of you. Casual clothes. Not a whole lot of thought needs to be expended on this. You're not picking a lock, if she's single and thinks you're interesting you'll get a date. 

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28 minutes ago, scoobdog said:

....wut?

Sorry he said neglect, not ignore. He said 

"Ill probably unwittingly neglect her alot"

>.> the only way I see this going good is if she is really into the music too. I just dont see how you can have a quality conversation at a metal concert. I can see friends going to concerts for the experience and enjoying it because they're already friends. They've only ever talked at work about work. 

I dunno ... I wouldnt do it unless she loves the bands performing.

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11 minutes ago, Vamped said:

Sorry he said neglect, not ignore. He said 

"Ill probably unwittingly neglect her alot"

>.> the only way I see this going good is if she is really into the music too. I just dont see how you can have a quality conversation at a metal concert. I can see friends going to concerts for the experience and enjoying it because they're already friends. They've only ever talked at work about work. 

I dunno ... I wouldnt do it unless she loves the bands performing.

If he's going to neglect her while doing something he enjoys and can share with her, he's not going to fair better on a coffee date.

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2 minutes ago, scoobdog said:

If he's going to neglect her while doing something he enjoys and can share with her, he's not going to fair better on a coffee date.

Atleast over coffee you're not awkwardly shouting into each other's ear and hoping they understand you.

I feel like a metal concert is like a 2nd or 3rd date. 

I dunno ... its his call, but I would just try something else first. Do an activity where you can make actual conversation first

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Well, to be fair....  Doom has also mentioned previously he's really really bad at small talk.  I mean, he actually changes seats so he didn't have to sit with her one time.  For most of us, a coffee date would probably be the first date go-to, but I can't guarantee that Doom won't freeze up in the situation.

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1 minute ago, scoobdog said:

Well, to be fair....  Doom has also mentioned previously he's really really bad at small talk.  I mean, he actually changes seats so he didn't have to sit with her one time.  For most of us, a coffee date would probably be the first date go-to, but I can't guarantee that Doom won't freeze up in the situation.

Probably should do an activity driven date. 

DESTROY HER AT MINIGOLF

 

wait no .... take her to one of those places like Dave and Busters and 

DESTROY HER AT GUITAR HERO

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13 hours ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

This concert for me is HOLY FUCKING SHIT HOW ARE ALL THESE GREAT BANDS PLAYING IN OUR SHIT CITY IN ONE NIGHT???

Next time you're at work, let yourself be a little bouncing off the walls about this concert. Hum their songs.  Exude obvious good mood.  If she's the least bit interested, she'll ask what you're in such a good mood about.  Tell her, "oh man, I can't believe this. I just found out about this concert and am so jazzed!  How are all these great bands playing in our shit city in one night??!!!"  She'll ask what bands, you tell her and she'll let you know if she likes them or not.  If so, you can ask if she wants to come with to see them.  If not (pay attention to her reason why not, it can be informative), you can say too bad, it's gonna be great, so, what bands do you like. And play it by ear from there.  If nothing comes of it but some friendly conversation, great.  If she wants to join you at the concert, really great.  No pressure on either of you.

 

Or you can seek love advice from the Great Duke of Hell.  I think you'll identify with the main character. ;)

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15 hours ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

Slight update....

I haven't talked to her much because I can't find much opportunity, but I did talk to her last week, and I noticed she was smiling while we were talking, so I am very optimistic.

I am psyching myself up to ask her to hang out outside of work soon. At first I was thinking I would take someone from this thread's advice and ask if she wants to go for coffee.... but I just realized in a couple of weeks I'm taking a night off work to go to a local concert, which falls on one of her days off. 

All we've talked about with each other so far is work, so I have no idea what kind of music she likes... but I was wondering if a concert would be a good place for a first hangout. The fact that neither of us are working that day makes me think it'll be convenient for both of us... We literally don't have any off-days in common, we only have this one because I'm using time off for the concert.

I'm familiar with three of the four bands playing, and they're generally very Black Sabbath-ish, if not in a heavier way than Sabbath themselves... so even if she doesn't like metal this might not be too much for her.... One of the bands even has a female singer, who knows if that'll be a selling point (and she's hella good, too).

A couple potential pitfalls I see of our first hangout being at this concert are 1) This concert for me is HOLY FUCKING SHIT HOW ARE ALL THESE GREAT BANDS PLAYING IN OUR SHIT CITY IN ONE NIGHT??? so I'm really going to want to pay attention to the bands themselves, so if she doesn't like the music, I'll probably unwittingly neglect her a lot, and 2) In loud areas I have a real hard time hearing what people talking to me are saying, so even if I am not too distracted by the music it'll still be hard to talk to each other.

But there's generally 15 - 30 minutes in between bands' sets at any particular concert I go too, and there's four bands, and of course at any particular concert the doors open 30 minutes to an hour before the concert starts, so that could give us time to talk...

So, if the next time I talk to her I find out the music she likes might gel with the bands at this concert, would it be a good first outside of work hangout?

It's been how many months now? As I said before, don't let this build up, and you agreed, and yet here we are, you building it up. Putting all this thought into it when you don't even truly know if she's interested or not. Make a move before placing stock in these kinda thoughts, honestly.

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13 hours ago, Vamped said:

Probably should do an activity driven date. 

DESTROY HER AT MINIGOLF

 

wait no .... take her to one of those places like Dave and Busters and 

DESTROY HER AT GUITAR HERO

I'm so bad at letting women win shit....I'm such an asshole....Like my original intentions are good...thinking "Aw, she can barely even press the buttons, let's give her this win"....and moments later it's "Wait, how is the chick beating me....It's go time motherfucker"

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30 minutes ago, Sho Minamimoto said:

I'm so bad at letting women win shit....I'm such an asshole....Like my original intentions are good...thinking "Aw, she can barely even press the buttons, let's give her this win"....and moments later it's "Wait, how is the chick beating me....It's go time motherfucker"

Thats never happened to me. Everybody goes in hard from the jump. I'm not super competitive, I'll get frustrated if I keep losing for dumb stuff in multiplayer but its no big deal. However, I've called a child dumb ... but in my defense .... they were being super stupid and cost us the game. 

>.> 

i usually leave my mic off so I don't call anymore children stupid.

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13 hours ago, scoobdog said:

If he's going to neglect her while doing something he enjoys and can share with her, he's not going to fair better on a coffee date.

 

13 hours ago, scoobdog said:

Well, to be fair....  Doom has also mentioned previously he's really really bad at small talk.  I mean, he actually changes seats so he didn't have to sit with her one time.  For most of us, a coffee date would probably be the first date go-to, but I can't guarantee that Doom won't freeze up in the situation.

My first ever date was watching anime at my apartment with my date. I came up with the idea because our mutual friend that fixed us up mentioned she liked anime, which was the main reason I was interested. During all of our watching of anime, I hardly talked. 

At the concert, a lot of my focus will be on the bands, at a coffee shop, all my focus will be on her.

13 hours ago, Vamped said:

Probably should do an activity driven date. 

DESTROY HER AT MINIGOLF

 

wait no .... take her to one of those places like Dave and Busters and 

DESTROY HER AT GUITAR HERO

I would love to do that. But the advice I had gotten earlier in the thread is not treat it as a "date", and I don't know how I would ask a woman to hang out with me for the first time going mini golf or bowling or something and her not thinking of it as me asking her on a date. 

9 hours ago, Gina Szanboti said:

Next time you're at work, let yourself be a little bouncing off the walls about this concert. Hum their songs.  Exude obvious good mood.  If she's the least bit interested, she'll ask what you're in such a good mood about.  Tell her, "oh man, I can't believe this. I just found out about this concert and am so jazzed!  How are all these great bands playing in our shit city in one night??!!!"  She'll ask what bands, you tell her and she'll let you know if she likes them or not.  If so, you can ask if she wants to come with to see them.  If not (pay attention to her reason why not, it can be informative), you can say too bad, it's gonna be great, so, what bands do you like. And play it by ear from there.  If nothing comes of it but some friendly conversation, great.  If she wants to join you at the concert, really great.  No pressure on either of you.

 

Or you can seek love advice from the Great Duke of Hell.  I think you'll identify with the main character. ;)

The way our workplace is this would make this extremely hard. I'm sure that doesn't make sense, but it actually does.

7 hours ago, bnmjy said:

It's been how many months now? As I said before, don't let this build up, and you agreed, and yet here we are, you building it up. Putting all this thought into it when you don't even truly know if she's interested or not. Make a move before placing stock in these kinda thoughts, honestly.

I've had a hard time finding opportunities to talk to her. But yeah, I'm determined to "close the deal" as soon as I can now. And I guess I don't "truly" know if she's interested, but I really think she is. 

26 minutes ago, Sho Minamimoto said:

I'm so bad at letting women win shit....I'm such an asshole....Like my original intentions are good...thinking "Aw, she can barely even press the buttons, let's give her this win"....and moments later it's "Wait, how is the chick beating me....It's go time motherfucker"

A few years ago I went on a bowling "date" with a woman. Usually I'm really competitive but in that specific situation I was always really excited when she got a strike or spare. I can't remember who won, but she probably did. Don't matter to me if she beat me. If she's having fun, that's what's important.

Judging by these responses I think I won't ask her to go with me to the concert unless we are able to hang out together before hand.

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  • 1 month later...
32 minutes ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

WELP I finally pulled the trigger, and long story short, she has a fiance. 

For a while I was all 💔but after a while i was feeling pretty good. At least I did it, and now I can move on.

This thread started in may 😂

Two seasons you've been at this....was she engaged the whole time? 

That guy could of met her, dated her,  fallen in love and asked her to marry him in the 6 months it took you to craft this master plan.....heck, it could be one of us....tired of your hesitation,  one of us could of gone down there to do recon and play matchmaker,  rom-com style....but things went side ways when he feel out of a tree while spying on her and got knocked unconscious....he woke up in her house,  she found and took care of him...they start chatting it up, her dog liked him and it usually didn't like anyone....even the special needs man child she takes care of who has to always wear ear muffs because he goes nuts if anyone touches his ears is cool with him..... Yada Yada Yada now @bnmjy feels guilty and won't stop calling me to vent about how things got out of control and fate this and fate that...he wants you to be his best man☺️

 

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14 minutes ago, Mix said:

This thread started in may 😂

Two seasons you've been at this....was she engaged the whole time? 

That guy could of met her, dated her,  fallen in love and asked her to marry him in the 6 months it took you to craft this master plan.....heck, it could be one of us....tired of your hesitation,  one of us could of gone down there to do recon and play matchmaker,  rom-com style....but things went side ways when he feel out of a tree while spying on her and got knocked unconscious....he woke up in her house,  she found and took care of him...they start chatting it up, her dog liked him and it usually didn't like anyone....even the special needs man child she takes care of who has to always wear ear muffs because he goes nuts if anyone touches his ears is cool with him..... Yada Yada Yada now @bnmjy feels guilty and won't stop calling me to vent about how things got out of control and fate this and fate that...he wants you to be his best man☺️

 

6 months from starting to date someone to being engaged sounds like an incredibly short amount of time.... I'm thinking either a) she was dating / engaged the whole time or b) she got back together with an ex she had a lot of history with and they decided to make it official. But I'm just speculating.

EDIT: And the for the record, there was no master plan. I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. I think this thread itself makes that quite clear. xD

Edited by Doom Metal Alchemist
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I'm glad you took the shot Doom.  Presumably you'll only get better at asking gilrs out and I kinda can't wait 'til another one catches your eye.  Maybe we'll only make it to two pages and it'll only take you two to three months!  And then five to seven years down the road when you've finally found your match, we'll all know it was meant to be because she'll say it's totally cool that you want to live stream it for your UE community who's been there for the two of you since the beginning 😁  😆

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6 hours ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

WELP I finally pulled the trigger, and long story short, she has a fiance. 

For a while I was all 💔but after a while i was feeling pretty good. At least I did it, and now I can move on.

Whew, thank god.....Now let's move on to easy chicks with no moral compass.

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7 hours ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

WELP I finally pulled the trigger, and long story short, she has a fiance. 

For a while I was all 💔but after a while i was feeling pretty good. At least I did it, and now I can move on.

Better+luck+next+time+_8f83e2dec6d611746

Better luck next time

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8 hours ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

WELP I finally pulled the trigger, and long story short, she has a fiance. 

For a while I was all 💔but after a while i was feeling pretty good. At least I did it, and now I can move on.

You know.... I was going to make a comment about how six months might be enough time for her to give up and end up letting @bnmjy top off the fappachino, but, ultimately, I don't think it would have mattered since you took so long.  Now, at least, you can use all the things you learned and start going after some of the other ... fine... valley girls.

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15 hours ago, scoobdog said:

You know.... I was going to make a comment about how six months might be enough time for her to give up and end up letting @bnmjy top off the fappachino, but, ultimately, I don't think it would have mattered since you took so long.  Now, at least, you can use all the things you learned and start going after some of the other ... fine... valley girls.

I'm honestly wondering if I ever even had to a shot to begin with.

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5 hours ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

I'm honestly wondering if I ever even had to a shot to begin with.

Likely not, even if she hadn't been engaged.  But, that's fine - you've gone through the motions, and now you have a better feel for the courting process.  Time to put it to use.

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17 hours ago, scoobdog said:

Likely not, even if she hadn't been engaged.  But, that's fine - you've gone through the motions, and now you have a better feel for the courting process.  Time to put it to use.

Mother fucker.... did you convince me I had a shot just to get me experience even though you believed I probably didn't have a shot?

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16 minutes ago, SorceressPol said:

Bruh, you move slower than a Jane Austen character. You had no chance. Just accept it. 

Sis, if you recall I had already decided I had no chance much earlier in the thread and some people told me otherwise.

Also by not ever having a chance to begin with, I'm not referring to my ineptness, I mean her never having an interest in me.

Edited by Doom Metal Alchemist
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Just now, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

Sis, if you recall I had already decided I had no chance much earlier in the thread and some people told me otherwise.

Joking aside, you gotta work on finding out if someone is single first, but you're probably better off not dating a co-worker anyways.

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