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ghostrek

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ghostrek Super Hero

ghostrek

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I'm not respected by my co-workers and they say I'm a bad worker or more  currently i am not a hard worker   which in my family means I'm not a person that carries my surname because we take pride in being hard workers so basically saying I'm not a member of my family in a odd way.

I'm basically thinking of you know ending  it all

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mthor Hero

mthor

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1 minute ago, ghostrek said:

what was the suicide hotline can help   it dose  get the respect from my coworker/equals that I deserve

Neither does posting here. If you're genuinely considering suicide, call the hotline - you need help that you're not going to get here. If you're not genuinely considering suicide, get professional help anyway - you sound pretty depressed, which can warp not only the way you see yourself, but the way you think you're seen by others.

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tsar4 Monster Mutant

tsar4

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12 minutes ago, ghostrek said:

what was the suicide hotline can help   it dose  get the respect from my coworker/equals that I deserve

Don't worry about what your coworkers think.  If you're not getting feedback from your immediate boss or HR, be proactive and ask them if you're living up to expectations.  If not, ask them what you need to improve on.  You can also ask what you do well.  A good manager will give you feedback.  If they say they don't have time and won't say when they will - start looking elsewhere for work. 

Odds are your coworkers are fos.  If you weren't doing your job well, you would have been let go. 

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Sawdamizer Monster Mutant

Sawdamizer

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12 minutes ago, mthor said:

Neither does posting here. If you're genuinely considering suicide, call the hotline - you need help that you're not going to get here. If you're not genuinely considering suicide, get professional help anyway - you sound pretty depressed, which can warp not only the way you see yourself, but the way you think you're seen by others.

I know you have to post this, because of your background..... so.... I am acknowledging that.

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Le Guignon Aristocrat

Le Guignon

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Fuck your coworkers.

Curl up and watch some Star Trek to relax.

We'd be devastated if you were to end it. You're part of the weird asmbuemb family just as much as anyone. You're the only person the have a reoccurring holiday even.

Love you dude

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katt_goddess Monster Mutant

katt_goddess

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On top of the Suicide Hotline number, there is also the SAMSAH number - 1-800-622-HELP [ 4357 ] . It's a free and can refer you to actual groups and people directly in your area to assist with any mental issues you are currently undergoing. I post this for general info. I also urge that you perhaps call one of the numbers here because sometimes just being able to talk directly to someone can make all the difference in the world, especially when you feel that no one listens to you.

Posting on the boards to vent is helpful, it relieves some of the pressure and someone is always reading even if they don't respond. Someone is always reading.

There are a hundred things at the very least that you are better at than any of your coworkers both big and little and one of them is just being you. Don't let the season's sniping take you out. If they think they can do better at your job, then they should pick up the slack themselves and prove it. But I'm guessing they can't / don't want to and the only way to get more done with less effort on their parts is to make you think things are your fault for not getting done by x or whatever their complaints are and making you do more of the work at a faster pace. 

Finally, the best revenge is not to remove yourself from the big picture. It's to live longer and better than those who would drag you down. Nothing pisses off a nay-sayer more than when their target succeeds. And the best part is, you determine what that is not them because your 'best life' is what makes you happy and they hate that. 

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ghostrek Super Hero

ghostrek

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1 hour ago, Le Guignon said:

Fuck your coworkers.

Curl up and watch some Star Trek to relax.

We'd be devastated if you were to end it. You're part of the weird asmbuemb family just as much as anyone. You're the only person the have a reoccurring holiday even.

Love you dude

@Le Guignonguess you're right I just need to watch some Star Trek   

I was thinking about watching It's a Wonderful Life

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ghostrek Super Hero

ghostrek

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59 minutes ago, katt_goddess said:

On top of the Suicide Hotline number, there is also the SAMSAH number - 1-800-622-HELP [ 4357 ] . It's a free and can refer you to actual groups and people directly in your area to assist with any mental issues you are currently undergoing. I post this for general info. I also urge that you perhaps call one of the numbers here because sometimes just being able to talk directly to someone can make all the difference in the world, especially when you feel that no one listens to you.

Posting on the boards to vent is helpful, it relieves some of the pressure and someone is always reading even if they don't respond. Someone is always reading.

There are a hundred things at the very least that you are better at than any of your coworkers both big and little and one of them is just being you. Don't let the season's sniping take you out. If they think they can do better at your job, then they should pick up the slack themselves and prove it. But I'm guessing they can't / don't want to and the only way to get more done with less effort on their parts is to make you think things are your fault for not getting done by x or whatever their complaints are and making you do more of the work at a faster pace. 

Finally, the best revenge is not to remove yourself from the big picture. It's to live longer and better than those who would drag you down. Nothing pisses off a nay-sayer more than when their target succeeds. And the best part is, you determine what that is not them because your 'best life' is what makes you happy and they hate that. 

@katt_goddess   I am already in therapy  my next session I am going to be talking about these feelings I'm going to  talking about you know ending it all

but that is going to be a while now because of the holidays but I am going to think about not caring about what my co-workers think but I do want to be respected by my equals that's that's the problem I don't feel always feel like I am of course my co-workers don't fucking care

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RainyDayJizz#35 Hero

RainyDayJizz#35

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Everybody already gave you good advice so I'm just another voice saying don't do that shit. Life can be shitty at times but hanging around is worth it I believe. The bad of life is never that bad, it just weighs on you when you have a lot. The good stuff... well you don't think about the bad when it's happening and you hold on to those good memories. 

And personally the bad memories that hang around for me are the ones that make me laugh about how big an idiot I was, or I get to laugh at how shitty people can really be. No matter how alone you may feel every person I've known to be alone made the choice to be that way. Even if you feel like there's no one there's probably someone.

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ghostrek Super Hero

ghostrek

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@tsar4  @scoobdog @mthor @Jiro_Dreams @Le Guignon  @katt_goddess  @NaBarney @RainyDayJizz#35  @SwimModSponges

look i am get sick and tired   I'm being bullied basically we're actually worse be prejudiced against because of my diagnosises  in the workplace I feel that  for almost 10 years I was prejudiced against for having a job coach I was prejudiced against we're having a mental illness/learning disability I was sick and tired of that fucking rumor  I'm sick and tired of being somehow the low man on the totem pole despite the fact I'm been there for almost 10 years while people who are my opinion fuckingworse than I am somehow think they're higher than me  what else you call it I understand some of you are of different races , different sexualities different, gender identities, and different religious beliefs I'm not saying you are not prejudiced  against

but I'm going to say ableism is a prejudice against the disabled / mentally ill and and don't pretend it doesn't exist it does and I'm going to say I'm sick and tired of being traded like shit because of what I am i did not ask God for this

and every time I want to fight metaphorically speaking out literally against this evil tell me now this let it be or I interpret basically lie down because it's going to cost too much money or it's going to not do good or or even worse get your shit beaten out of you  starting to think I'm at the point of my existence like I said only one other post I feel like I can't move forward because of this shit  I'm sick and tired of it

I'm going to be in my next therapy session talking more about this with my therapist because frankly I do not want to go but but I do not feel like I can make a big impact in this world either  but you also told me the light I know I am loved by my family what was that I can move forward

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katt_goddess Monster Mutant

katt_goddess

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20 hours ago, ghostrek said:

@katt_goddess   I am already in therapy  my next session I am going to be talking about these feelings I'm going to  talking about you know ending it all

but that is going to be a while now because of the holidays but I am going to think about not caring about what my co-workers think but I do want to be respected by my equals that's that's the problem I don't feel always feel like I am of course my co-workers don't fucking care

If your co-workers don't respect you as an equal, then they aren't YOUR equals either. It's a road that goes both ways. 

Give your kitty some cuddles [ because if nothing else will get through your funk, know that your kitty will miss you and kitty is right there with you now ] , watch some tv you enjoy and just forget about those bozos for awhile. If all they've got going on in their lives is attempting to make your life miserable, that's some pathetic goals right there and says everything that needs to be said about them. 

And good, keep up with your therapy. It's more important than you might think and there's nothing wrong with going. 

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Skiles Luminary

Skiles

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Never be afraid to reach out to a professional for help. Even if you have to go inpatient somewhere, do it. Take every necessary step to get yourself right. I know we roast you sometimes, but at the end of the day, you're just a person and you deserve to be happy just as much as anyone else. 

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RainyDayJizz#35 Hero

RainyDayJizz#35

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21 hours ago, ghostrek said:

@tsar4  @scoobdog @mthor @Jiro_Dreams @Le Guignon  @katt_goddess  @NaBarney @RainyDayJizz#35  @SwimModSponges

look i am get sick and tired   I'm being bullied basically we're actually worse be prejudiced against because of my diagnosises  in the workplace I feel that  for almost 10 years I was prejudiced against for having a job coach I was prejudiced against we're having a mental illness/learning disability I was sick and tired of that fucking rumor  I'm sick and tired of being somehow the low man on the totem pole despite the fact I'm been there for almost 10 years while people who are my opinion fuckingworse than I am somehow think they're higher than me  what else you call it I understand some of you are of different races , different sexualities different, gender identities, and different religious beliefs I'm not saying you are not prejudiced  against

but I'm going to say ableism is a prejudice against the disabled / mentally ill and and don't pretend it doesn't exist it does and I'm going to say I'm sick and tired of being traded like shit because of what I am i did not ask God for this

and every time I want to fight metaphorically speaking out literally against this evil tell me now this let it be or I interpret basically lie down because it's going to cost too much money or it's going to not do good or or even worse get your shit beaten out of you  starting to think I'm at the point of my existence like I said only one other post I feel like I can't move forward because of this shit  I'm sick and tired of it

I'm going to be in my next therapy session talking more about this with my therapist because frankly I do not want to go but but I do not feel like I can make a big impact in this world either  but you also told me the light I know I am loved by my family what was that I can move forward

Maybe start job hunting. You've been at your current job ten years so you've demonstrated willingness to work. See if you can find better conditions in a job that's similar or just looking for work experience. There are a lot of labor jobs that pay good money and if you're an early riser you can make bank. Landscapers make good money man. 

Even just try to find five better jobs to apply to every day. For some reason people hiring never like me, but if you put out enough apps you get somewhere eventually.

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NaBarney Monster Mutant

NaBarney

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1 hour ago, scoobdog said:

Dude, he's not going to have trouble finding a new job.

.....is this a joke? There's not exactly an abundance of available jobs right now...

Ghostrek should find a new job and then quit his current awful one without giving any notice. Fuck em. 

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ghostrek Super Hero

ghostrek

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On 12/13/2020 at 12:38 AM, scoobdog said:

I mean, you're kind of limited in the jobs you can find.  But, janitors are... important-ish in pandemics.

I know they're important but it's too important because we we are actually losing people because they don't want to get the coronavirus but not many new Replacements are  not coming to you know take their place so a lot of us are getting over working over stressed it's hitting us hard in that way

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BlackNoir Megastar

BlackNoir

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47 minutes ago, ghostrek said:

I know they're important but it's too important because we we are actually losing people because they don't want to get the coronavirus but not many new Replacements are coming to you know take their place so a lot of us are getting over working over stressed it's hitting us hard in that way

You do realize that this is EXACTLY why you can go get a job just about anywhere?

Dude, get a CDL....Find one of the Dollar Tree factories, Get a job as an orderly.....They hired the kid's great uncle and that dude literally smokes crack....Like on the regular, daily, all day, just geeked up and he's an orderly.  

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tsar4 Monster Mutant

tsar4

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For whoever might need to see it...

image.png.72cbfde0324431fc48984c9247c161b1.png

Mike Rowe 
14m  · 
Don’t Jump
Last Thursday on Hannity, I had a conversation I didn’t think I was going to have. 
This is not unusual. Most of the time on programs like these, the producer tells me the topic beforehand, I organize my thoughts, and then, the host takes things in a completely different direction at the last moment. Last Thursday, for instance, I thought we were going to discuss the student loan fiasco, which I wrote about earlier in the week. I was prepared to double down on my comments regarding the forgiveness of debt, gently explain my resistance to doing so, and conclude with my foundation’s commitment to award another million dollars in work-ethic scholarships in the coming year. Then, I figured I’d walk upstairs, pour a bourbon, and scroll through the inevitable outrage in the comments section. Instead, I wound up discussing George Bailey. Specifically, a scene from my favorite Christmas movie of all time, (that really isn't a Christmas movie,) "It’s a Wonderful Life." 
Actually, it was Candice Owens, in the prior segment, who made me think of George Bailey. Candace had just made reference to two unflattering terms used by some to describe millions of Americans - "irredeemable" and "deplorable." Having just re-watched Frank Capra’s classic film for the thousandth time, I couldn’t help but think of George Bailey, the tortured dreamer who finds himself standing on the bridge in Bedford Falls, staring into the swirling water below, contemplating suicide. I wondered - did George Bailey feel "irredeemable" in that moment? Did he feel "deplorable?" I bet he did. I bet everyone who ever contemplated their own demise, has felt a measure of both.
Then, as my segment was about to begin, Hannity threw to a few soundbites of ordinary citizens who had lost their livelihoods during the lockdown. Specifically, restaurant owners who could do nothing but watch as everything they worked for slowly slipped away. As they spoke, with tears in their eyes, I thought about the woman who owned the Pineapple Grill in Sherman Oaks - a nice little outdoor café that was recently shut down the same day a giant outdoor catering operation was allowed to open in her parking lot, in order to feed the cast a crew of a TV show that was still in production. 
I recall the despair in that woman's voice. The desperation. And again, I thought of George Bailey, perched there on the edge of that bridge, coming to the terrible conclusion that he was worth more dead than alive. I also thought about the suicide hotlines all over the country, many of which are receiving more calls than ever before. And it occurred to me that there is a better word to describe the way people feel who decide to jump from this life into the next. A word that’s become as ubiquitous as "irredeemable" and "deplorable," but far more insulting, and far more deadly. 
That word, is "non-essential." 
It didn’t strike me just how cruel the term was in March, back when we began referring to doctors and nurses and first responders as "essential workers." Because really, who could argue with that characterization? What else can you call a worker who risks their lives to keep us safe? But then, as the lockdowns wore on, the list of essential workers began to grow. Plumbers turned out to be essential, and for good reason. So too, did grocery store clerks. And gas station attendants. And Amazon delivery drivers. And construction workers. And farmers. And electricians. And, believe it or not, actors. And broadcasters. And podcasters. And people who host TV shows.
I kid you not. Here in California, I'm on the same list of essential workers as cops and doctors and firemen. Thus, I've worked constantly since March, and kept my people employed. In fact, just last week, I was allowed to fly to LA to film a commercial. To get there, I boarded a sold-out flight, where I sat cheek to jowl with two perfect strangers, one of whom struggled to control a nasty cough behind her cloth mask.
How is any of this sensible? How is is remotely fair? Why is filming a commercial "essential," but running a restaurant not? Why are crowded planes safe, but crowded churches not? And how can anyone expect a rational citizen to obey elected officials who refuse to follow their own rules?
I have no answers to these questions, but as I waited last Thursday to answer whatever trenchant query Hannity might eventually throw my way, it occurred to me that the majority of people who punch their own ticket do so not merely because they feel "irredeemable," or "deplorable." I think most people  hang on right till they come to believe that they have become "non-essential." 
That’s how I think George Bailey felt, standing there on that bridge. He was a man with nothing to offer. A man who believed he was worth more dead than alive. A man who would have surely killed himself, but for an angel named Clarence who dropped into the rushing river and gave George Bailey something to do. Something essential.
The holidays are a rough time of year for a lot of people. In particular, this holiday. In particular, this year. To those millions of Americans who have lost your livelihoods, now teetering on the edge your own metaphorical bridge, wondering if perhaps you’re worth more dead than alive, I say this: 
You still matter. You are still essential to someone, even if only to yourself. Why? Because you are still a part of a great tapestry - a single tile in a mighty mosaic that connects us all. And, because you are still loved. Which is a long way of saying, don’t jump.
Anyway, that's what I talked to Hannity about, last Thursday.

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ghostrek Super Hero

ghostrek

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1 hour ago, tsar4 said:

For whoever might need to see it...

image.png.72cbfde0324431fc48984c9247c161b1.png

Mike Rowe 
14m  · 
Don’t Jump
Last Thursday on Hannity, I had a conversation I didn’t think I was going to have. 
This is not unusual. Most of the time on programs like these, the producer tells me the topic beforehand, I organize my thoughts, and then, the host takes things in a completely different direction at the last moment. Last Thursday, for instance, I thought we were going to discuss the student loan fiasco, which I wrote about earlier in the week. I was prepared to double down on my comments regarding the forgiveness of debt, gently explain my resistance to doing so, and conclude with my foundation’s commitment to award another million dollars in work-ethic scholarships in the coming year. Then, I figured I’d walk upstairs, pour a bourbon, and scroll through the inevitable outrage in the comments section. Instead, I wound up discussing George Bailey. Specifically, a scene from my favorite Christmas movie of all time, (that really isn't a Christmas movie,) "It’s a Wonderful Life." 
Actually, it was Candice Owens, in the prior segment, who made me think of George Bailey. Candace had just made reference to two unflattering terms used by some to describe millions of Americans - "irredeemable" and "deplorable." Having just re-watched Frank Capra’s classic film for the thousandth time, I couldn’t help but think of George Bailey, the tortured dreamer who finds himself standing on the bridge in Bedford Falls, staring into the swirling water below, contemplating suicide. I wondered - did George Bailey feel "irredeemable" in that moment? Did he feel "deplorable?" I bet he did. I bet everyone who ever contemplated their own demise, has felt a measure of both.
Then, as my segment was about to begin, Hannity threw to a few soundbites of ordinary citizens who had lost their livelihoods during the lockdown. Specifically, restaurant owners who could do nothing but watch as everything they worked for slowly slipped away. As they spoke, with tears in their eyes, I thought about the woman who owned the Pineapple Grill in Sherman Oaks - a nice little outdoor café that was recently shut down the same day a giant outdoor catering operation was allowed to open in her parking lot, in order to feed the cast a crew of a TV show that was still in production. 
I recall the despair in that woman's voice. The desperation. And again, I thought of George Bailey, perched there on the edge of that bridge, coming to the terrible conclusion that he was worth more dead than alive. I also thought about the suicide hotlines all over the country, many of which are receiving more calls than ever before. And it occurred to me that there is a better word to describe the way people feel who decide to jump from this life into the next. A word that’s become as ubiquitous as "irredeemable" and "deplorable," but far more insulting, and far more deadly. 
That word, is "non-essential." 
It didn’t strike me just how cruel the term was in March, back when we began referring to doctors and nurses and first responders as "essential workers." Because really, who could argue with that characterization? What else can you call a worker who risks their lives to keep us safe? But then, as the lockdowns wore on, the list of essential workers began to grow. Plumbers turned out to be essential, and for good reason. So too, did grocery store clerks. And gas station attendants. And Amazon delivery drivers. And construction workers. And farmers. And electricians. And, believe it or not, actors. And broadcasters. And podcasters. And people who host TV shows.
I kid you not. Here in California, I'm on the same list of essential workers as cops and doctors and firemen. Thus, I've worked constantly since March, and kept my people employed. In fact, just last week, I was allowed to fly to LA to film a commercial. To get there, I boarded a sold-out flight, where I sat cheek to jowl with two perfect strangers, one of whom struggled to control a nasty cough behind her cloth mask.
How is any of this sensible? How is is remotely fair? Why is filming a commercial "essential," but running a restaurant not? Why are crowded planes safe, but crowded churches not? And how can anyone expect a rational citizen to obey elected officials who refuse to follow their own rules?
I have no answers to these questions, but as I waited last Thursday to answer whatever trenchant query Hannity might eventually throw my way, it occurred to me that the majority of people who punch their own ticket do so not merely because they feel "irredeemable," or "deplorable." I think most people  hang on right till they come to believe that they have become "non-essential." 
That’s how I think George Bailey felt, standing there on that bridge. He was a man with nothing to offer. A man who believed he was worth more dead than alive. A man who would have surely killed himself, but for an angel named Clarence who dropped into the rushing river and gave George Bailey something to do. Something essential.
The holidays are a rough time of year for a lot of people. In particular, this holiday. In particular, this year. To those millions of Americans who have lost your livelihoods, now teetering on the edge your own metaphorical bridge, wondering if perhaps you’re worth more dead than alive, I say this: 
You still matter. You are still essential to someone, even if only to yourself. Why? Because you are still a part of a great tapestry - a single tile in a mighty mosaic that connects us all. And, because you are still loved. Which is a long way of saying, don’t jump.
Anyway, that's what I talked to Hannity about, last Thursday.

@tsar4issue  is  part of it is I'm over essential meaning I'm overworked  reasons no one wants to clean because they're scared of the damn virus and over this past year everyone was getting more money than what we pay due to state unemployment and the Federal money given on top of that so so yeah this is shows  why a universal basic income doesn't work

I also can understand why some people are non-essential and feeling worthless because frankly under normal times that's how I feel most of the time for separate reasons than being out of work 

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Sawdamizer Monster Mutant

Sawdamizer

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Posted
7 minutes ago, ghostrek said:

issue part of it is I'm over essential meaning I'm overworked  reasons no one wants to clean because they're scared of the damn virus and over this past year everyone was getting more money than what we pay due to state unemployment and the Federal money given on top of that so so yeah this is shows  why a universal basic income doesn't work

Lol....

I'm going to just pop popcorn now.

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PhilosipherStoned Monster Mutant

PhilosipherStoned

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Posted
Just now, ghostrek said:

@PhilosipherStoned there's some Hope on the horizon with me I'm kinda feeling more positive everyday but I know I can backslide at any time

Maybe you just need a new hobby or something. I'd say something that gets you active and out there, but hey I know there's a real challenge out there with that right now...

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ghostrek Super Hero

ghostrek

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Just now, PhilosipherStoned said:

Maybe you just need a new hobby or something. I'd say something that gets you active and out there, but hey I know there's a real challenge out there with that right now...

@PhilosipherStoned I'm working on a video or YouTube I'm going to be watching what I need to watch soon and hope you had be doing a review of it after the Christmas 

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PhilosipherStoned Monster Mutant

PhilosipherStoned

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A review huh. I said a new hobby, but I kind of like your youtube shit.. I mean...One of my favorites was the ADHD PSA you put out one time though.. I'm not much into startrek at all. I don't even know any of the canon and story lines for a lot of that kind of shit you review so don't expect a good review from me if you're going to be discussing old sci fi stuff. I get that's one of your big interests though so do it and I'll check it out maybe..

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ghostrek Super Hero

ghostrek

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1 minute ago, PhilosipherStoned said:

A review huh. I said a new hobby, but I kind of like your youtube shit.. I mean...One of my favorites was the ADHD PSA you put out one time though.. I'm not much into startrek at all. I don't even know any of the canon and story lines for a lot of that kind of shit you review so don't expect a good review from me if you're going to be discussing old sci fi stuff.

it's Ghostbusters 2 you haven't seen Ghostbusters 2 @PhilosipherStoned   Everyone likes one at least sci-fi film that's the rule I noticed

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PhilosipherStoned Monster Mutant

PhilosipherStoned

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Posted (edited)

Oh wow I freaking barely remember the old ghostbusters since I was a little chitlun when an adult tried to get me to watch the first one, and I wasn't impressed, but my attention span probably failed like after 5 mins of trying to watch it every time. I need to give all of the ghostbusters another watch, but it's like.. eh life. Don't dissapoint me with your video, and maybe I want have to watch the old ones again though. ;)

 

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ghostrek Super Hero

ghostrek

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1 minute ago, PhilosipherStoned said:

Oh wow I freaking barely remember the old ghostbusters since I was a little chitlun when an adult tried to get me to watch the first one, and I wasn't impressed, but my attention span probably failed like after 5 mins of trying to watch it.. 

hay  each to their own @PhilosipherStoned

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