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How many grapes can you fit into your butthole at the same time?


Azalar Hex

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3 hours ago, Sawdamizer said:

Remember when viper created his own boards without hookers or blackjacks?

The Z Man told me about that. It was supposed to be the next big thing on the internet. What happened to those boards?

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1 hour ago, Lasty said:

Pretty sure the pressure would crush them before they made their way in, but I am not going to test this out.

Despite not sounding ideal, freezing them would an option.
You'd just have to be quick about all of them because they'd thaw fast.

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50 minutes ago, Seight said:

I'm gonna level with you. The hospitals have enough going on rn without trying to create the medical name for "wine and/or jelly in person's ass."

oh God, that reminded me of some article I've seen a couple years back about folks sticking things up their asses and having to go to the hospital to get them removed.

There was one guy that had a condom filled with nuts and bolts that he stuck up there, and another crazy bastard that stuck up some sex toy and then a blob of cement.

The article was written from some doctors perspective on that, him mentioning he quickly learned (with the same people coming back) that them sticking that stuff up there was only half the thrill for them, the second half is getting someone to reach up there to remove it.

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1 hour ago, Bouvre said:

Despite not sounding ideal, freezing them would an option.
You'd just have to be quick about all of them because they'd thaw fast.

Herein lies a conundrum; the more grapes you can fit in there, the longer they would have to thaw. OP also does not specify "frozen" grapes, but simply says "grapes", potentially disqualifying the venture.

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1 hour ago, SwimModSponges said:

If they were lubricated and the asshole was willing I see no reason to think the grape would be crushed by the sphincter muscle. 

Grapes are relatively fragile as far as fruit goes. It doesn't take much force to remove the skin of the grape.

Again, I am not testing this personally... I can only speculate about sphincter force to grape integrity ratios and what not...

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To be realistic, when you say how many grapes can you fit in your b hole, pretty much talking about your colon / large intestines, and considering it's designed to be able to stretch, it able to stretch pretty damn big, if some fucking lunatic were serious about wanting to see how many grapes they could fit up their ass, easily a hundred I'd imagine, more so if they get mashed together while inside their ass.

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28 minutes ago, Lasty said:

Herein lies a conundrum; the more grapes you can fit in there, the longer they would have to thaw. OP also does not specify "frozen" grapes, but simply says "grapes", potentially disqualifying the venture.

Well then shit if they don't have to stay intact, I don't even want to guess how much I could put in there.
If they have to stay intact: zero. Details you probably never need to know in the spoilers.

 

Spoiler

My butthole is very tight.

 

Edited by Bouvre
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Frozen grapes are acceptable and actually more accurate for the goals of this question due to their more sturdy nature.

Frozen grapes it is.  This question now has to do with how many rock solid ice cold frozen grapes you could fit into your butthole.

My answer is still five despite my experience with the ungodly massive shits I have taken.

Edited by Azalar Hex
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36 minutes ago, Distinct Lunatic said:

To be realistic, when you say how many grapes can you fit in your b hole, pretty much talking about your colon / large intestines, and considering it's designed to be able to stretch, it able to stretch pretty damn big, if some fucking lunatic were serious about wanting to see how many grapes they could fit up their ass, easily a hundred I'd imagine, more so if they get mashed together while inside their ass.

This guy has the right answer.

However I would not  use a frozen grape for a multitude of reasons, mostly concerning discomfort and the fact that freezing fruit  removes  water from them, thereby preventing the squishyness I feel would be required to pass through the ring muscle and into the generous space of  the colon.

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6 minutes ago, SwimModSponges said:

This guy has the right answer.

However I would not  use a frozen grape for a multitude of reasons, mostly concerning discomfort and the fact that freezing fruit  removes  water from them, thereby preventing the squishyness I feel would be required to pass through the ring muscle and into the generous space of  the colon.

I don't think it counts if they don't come back out intact. The squishing and destruction of the grape gives an inaccurate measurement. It's a lot like the punch line of most dead baby jokes? It's not a grape anymore if it's structural integrity is disturbed. We should just go with plastic marbles at this rate. (the potential of broken glass up in there sounds like a recipe for a lifelong medical issue)

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8 minutes ago, Lasty said:

I don't think it counts if they don't come back out intact. The squishing and destruction of the grape gives an inaccurate measurement. It's a lot like the punch line of most dead baby jokes? It's not a grape anymore if it's structural integrity is disturbed. We should just go with plastic marbles at this rate. (the potential of broken glass up in there sounds like a recipe for a lifelong medical issue)

If someone had the sphincter strength to shatter marbles I'd be very impressed

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3 minutes ago, Distinct Lunatic said:

If someone had the sphincter strength to shatter marbles I'd be very impressed

I am foreseeing something more like sheer volume of marbles creating enough pressure to at least crack a marble, which would still be pretty bad if it cut you.

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2 minutes ago, Lasty said:

I am foreseeing something more like sheer volume of marbles creating enough pressure to at least crack a marble, which would still be pretty bad if it cut you.

I once read a post on 4chan where a guy was talking about how one night his wife/gf was passed out drunk and he had a bag of marbles, him proceeding to stick all of them up her ass while she was asleep, and then the next morning she was runnin to the bathroom thinking she had to go, just for a hail of marbles to spew out instead.

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16 hours ago, Sawdamizer said:

Oh.. is this a variation on the 4chan grape subway thing? Viper... get a job man

Hahaha, how are you so bad at this? And just the other day you thought the actual viper was fuggs, WTF please just stop lmao

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14 hours ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

Are you going to lick that jam out of his butthole? 😂

Wow, way to read my mind buddy.  Except no.  Ass jam should be properly canned before consumption.

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