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Anyone find it hard to cry?

fuggstop

By fuggstop
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fuggstop Monster Mutant

fuggstop

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6 minutes ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

I think even wanting to cry is a strictly female thing. As males we are taught from a very early age it's not ok to cry, unless like, a very close relative dies, and even that's iffy.

Thats dumb. Toxic masculinity. Male tears are hot. Fuck anyone who says anything else

 

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Naraku4656 Monster Mutant

Naraku4656

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15 minutes ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

I think even wanting to cry is a strictly female thing. As males we are taught from a very early age it's not ok to cry, unless like, a very close relative dies, and even that's iffy.

i mean the last time i really cried was when my last ex and i broke up so idk

Doom Metal Alchemist Monster Mutant

Doom Metal Alchemist

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Just now, Naraku4656 said:

i mean the last time i really cried was when my last ex and i broke up so idk

I'm not at all saying we don't cry. I'm saying we try to suppress it as much as possible. Purposely inducing crying from ourselves doesn't even cross our minds at all.

Am I wrong?

Naraku4656 Monster Mutant

Naraku4656

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4 minutes ago, fuggstop said:

Awwww thats so sweeeeet

i mean we both did. sat in my car for like 20 minutes at the airport before i had to drop her off for the last time both bawling our eyes out. left from there straight to a bar. this was about a year ago and about a month and a halfish before i moved on to the relationship i'm currently in.

fuggstop Monster Mutant

fuggstop

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12 minutes ago, Naraku4656 said:

i mean we both did. sat in my car for like 20 minutes at the airport before i had to drop her off for the last time both bawling our eyes out. left from there straight to a bar. this was about a year ago and about a month and a halfish before i moved on to the relationship i'm currently in.

Still sweet

That_One_Guy Paragon

That_One_Guy

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2 hours ago, fuggstop said:

I was extremely upset today and wanted to cry but couldn't 

Is this weird?

I think its the mood stabilizers 

Yet i can cry at sad videos on Facebook 

I find it difficult to cry, but I think it's cause I'm a guy and we're taught to not cry no matter how sad we are, so it's probably more of a repression thing. I haven't cried in a very long time. I don't always react appropriately to stuff. Like my emotional responses don't always make sense.

scoobdog Monster Mutant

scoobdog

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4 hours ago, fuggstop said:

Thats dumb. Toxic masculinity. Male tears are hot. Fuck anyone who says anything else

 

It's not true.  The idea that fathers tell their sons that it's not okay to cry is absurd.  The reality is that men don't encounter situations where they are powerless as often as women do, mostly because of enablement through patriarchal social structuring.

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discolé monade Monster Mutant

discolé monade

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9 hours ago, scoobdog said:

It's not true.  The idea that fathers tell their sons that it's not okay to cry is absurd.  The reality is that men don't encounter situations where they are powerless as often as women do, mostly because of enablement through patriarchal social structuring.

i was raised by one of those men. i was told to never cry. i was hit if i cried. so, i don't, around anyone. 

i cry in the shower IF i have to cry. i cry in my pillow, IF i have to cry. 

i cry alone, IF i have to cry. 

and being raised that way, it takes a lot for me TO cry. 

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Vamped Monster Mutant

Vamped

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I don't like to cry but I cry more frequently than I like to admit

 

like almost every time I see a St. Jude commercial, read an article about St. Jude, see the St. Jude passenger van at the store 

 

I could cry because somebody else is crying. 

 

 

 

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DragonSinger Paragon

DragonSinger

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43 minutes ago, Vamped said:

I don't like to cry but I cry more frequently than I like to admit

 

like almost every time I see a St. Jude commercial, read an article about St. Jude, see the St. Jude passenger van at the store 

 

I could cry because somebody else is crying. 

 

 

 

I hate that this happens to me too. Health stuff, anime, stories about kids/pets/spouses dying will make me cry. A Reddit post about a woman's child dying from an irresponsible grandparent who didn't take severe allergies for stuff like coconut seriously got me the other day.

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Vamped Monster Mutant

Vamped

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5 minutes ago, SorceressPol said:

I hate that this happens to me too. Health stuff, anime, stories about kids/pets/spouses dying will make me cry. A Reddit post about a woman's child dying from an irresponsible grandparent who didn't take severe allergies for stuff like coconut seriously got me the other day.

I've got some bereavement counseling practice coming up at my internship. I'm praying I can hold my shit together. 

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DragonSinger Paragon

DragonSinger

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4 minutes ago, Vamped said:

I've got some bereavement counseling practice coming up at my internship. I'm praying I can hold my shit together. 

Good luck. You're a brave one for that.

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fuggstop Monster Mutant

fuggstop

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I take death claim calls. The worse was an 18 year old who committed suicide and his mom was crying. I barely batted an eyelash. Guess ive developed thick skin but i hate that it had zero affect on me. I guess im ready for the 911 call center.

Vamped Monster Mutant

Vamped

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17 minutes ago, fuggstop said:

I take death claim calls. The worse was an 18 year old who committed suicide and his mom was crying. I barely batted an eyelash. Guess ive developed thick skin but i hate that it had zero affect on me. I guess im ready for the 911 call 

Maybe you didnt feel it because it was a phone call. It would probably have been harder to be stoic if she was sitting at your desk crying 

Neko Elder

Neko

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Haven't cried in years even though i need the emotional let go of letting go fucked up experiences.  I need them to stop...immediately but it's thrown up in my face through memories.

Gyaos Centurion

Gyaos

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9 hours ago, fuggstop said:

I take death claim calls. The worse was an 18 year old who committed suicide and his mom was crying. I barely batted an eyelash. Guess ive developed thick skin but i hate that it had zero affect on me. I guess im ready for the 911 call center.

Actually, what you said probably explains a lot. Being in EMS, I saw too much shit that no average person should see.

I needed some counseling and I do have a therapist, but as far as crying goes? I got that out of my system somewhere along the line. I believe the job had a lot to do with that.

scoobdog Monster Mutant

scoobdog

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13 hours ago, discolemonade said:

i was raised by one of those men. i was told to never cry. i was hit if i cried. so, i don't, around anyone. 

i cry in the shower IF i have to cry. i cry in my pillow, IF i have to cry. 

i cry alone, IF i have to cry. 

and being raised that way, it takes a lot for me TO cry. 

And it goes without saying that there is nothing normal about what your father did.  Whether or not you classify it as such, that is abuse and it likely reflects abuse your father received.  That's not to say he wasn't a loving father or a abusive in general (I wouldn't presume to know anything about him), just that singular behavior is problematic and reflects a dysfunction that is outside of social norms.

NaBarney Monster Mutant

NaBarney

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34 minutes ago, cyberbully said:

You love that I'm talking to her so much...

I am happy for you and genuinely hope you ultimately fulfill your old marriage pact together

discolé monade Monster Mutant

discolé monade

Posted
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6 hours ago, scoobdog said:

And it goes without saying that there is nothing normal about what your father did.  Whether or not you classify it as such, that is abuse and it likely reflects abuse your father received.  That's not to say he wasn't a loving father or a abusive in general (I wouldn't presume to know anything about him), just that singular behavior is problematic and reflects a dysfunction that is outside of social norms.

no..he was abusive af. i'm not going to get into it. but i left home at 14. and that's all i'll say about that. 

according to my grandma, my grandad was really a tough dude to the boys. 

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scoobdog Monster Mutant

scoobdog

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9 hours ago, discolemonade said:

no..he was abusive af. i'm not going to get into it. but i left home at 14. and that's all i'll say about that. 

according to my grandma, my grandad was really a tough dude to the boys. 

Well, that's that.  I've always had a problem with the concept of "toxic masculinity" because it seems to be an unnecessary subdivision of a broader class of abuse.  It's one thing to raise a boy in 1960 to adhere to rigid gender roles because there was so little resistance from either parent to this approach.  In this day and age, trying to do the same encroaches on abuse because it forces boys to adhere to an identity that is not only anachronistic, but asynchronous with social norms.  Granted the identity issues don't elicit the same social pariah pressures that an LGBTQ child deals with when being molded into something he or she can't be, but the mechanical attributes of the abuse are the same and recognizing it as such is more constructive in eliminating the class of behavior compared to compartmentalizing it.

Edited by scoobdog
Oops. That was an important word.
Bouvre Superstar

Bouvre

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 8/9/2019 at 3:11 AM, fuggstop said:

Aww why? U have awesome life! (From wut i can see)

 

 

Sometimes crying's good though. I love movies and shows that make me cry. Natsume's Book of Friends/Natsume Yuujinchou has an episode so wholesome yet charged with emotion that I ugly cry, despite being a happy ending. (That episode is titled "Swallow at Lake Bottom" and I highly recommend it)

I cried at the resilience of Eriko Tanabe in Banana Yoshimoto's Kitchen. The character is a trans woman. Spoilers ahead:

Spoiler

 

Halfway through the story, she gets stabbed when a man confesses his love for her, and she rejects him. She writes a note that says:

Screenshot_20190811-001958.thumb.png.fa0a2c9a2dd529fd46aeddc9b435cc96.png

 

 

Sometimes it's finding out something I thought was going to be a bad reconciliation ended up good, and I was forgiven, and that can make me cry.

My life IS good and often fun but crying for me takes space in empathy and joy, too. I relate to Jacuzzi from Baccano, who cries all the time, especially when nervous, except when it's time to be strongest and bravest.

Edited by Bouvre
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