Jump to content
UnevenEdge

Its almost Valentine's Day


Vamped

Recommended Posts

1 minute ago, UnDeRwOrlDpRiNcEsS said:

Honestly the date I had last weekend. I usually got stuck paying for my own stuff. So it was sweet to be taken on an actual date for once. 

Probably sexist of me to feel this way ... but I would be caught off guard if I went on a date and the guy didn't pay. Like I wouldn't say anything crazy outloud about it 

I'll offer to treat sometimes if we're dating for awhile and it's my idea 

I'll pay for another lady

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, Vamped said:

Probably sexist of me to feel this way ... but I would be caught off guard if I went on a date and the guy didn't pay. Like I wouldn't say anything crazy outloud about it 

I'll offer to treat sometimes if we're dating for awhile and it's my idea 

I'll pay for another lady

I’m like that too!! I’ll silently judge about chivalry. But lady friends are always different. 

Edited by UnDeRwOrlDpRiNcEsS
Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 hours ago, Vamped said:

Probably sexist of me to feel this way ... but I would be caught off guard if I went on a date and the guy didn't pay. Like I wouldn't say anything crazy outloud about it 

I'll offer to treat sometimes if we're dating for awhile and it's my idea 

I'll pay for another lady

Naw, it's a patriarchy. Let them fuckers pay.

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Officer Nophukksgiven, let me ride out after stopping me, obviously drunk, with a pocket full of pills and an open container.....

To this day, I have no idea what he stopped me for and I was so bonked out, I was ready to go to jail....but nope, had to drive the rest of the way.

For Vday, as a bonus, Spite ring went ham with the gifts and I didn't get her anything that year because I thought we was just gonna go out to dinner and fuck so we could say we weren't alone

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My significant other replaced my whole wardrobe when i lost 100lbs.
 

He liked me when i was big, so it must be real. After being on steroids for pneumonia i felt horrible about myself, but he supported me my whole 101 day water fast until i reached my goal weight.

Now he just spoils me. There’s more than this now lolC63B8457-307E-4056-81F4-FBFB74802366.thumb.jpeg.8c4cebc20ffbc9864cc8be9a3b4f3894.jpeg

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

17 hours ago, Vamped said:

Probably sexist of me to feel this way ... but I would be caught off guard if I went on a date and the guy didn't pay. Like I wouldn't say anything crazy outloud about it 

I'll offer to treat sometimes if we're dating for awhile and it's my idea 

I'll pay for another lady

I never understood why "the guy" always had to pay for dates. That's very sexist and any woman who subscribes to that line of thinking is selling out her own sex. In my own experience, it also made me feel very dysphoric to be thrust into the boyfriend role. I'd rather be pampered by another woman.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

17 hours ago, Vamped said:

Probably sexist of me to feel this way ... but I would be caught off guard if I went on a date and the guy didn't pay. Like I wouldn't say anything crazy outloud about it 

I'll offer to treat sometimes if we're dating for awhile and it's my idea 

I'll pay for another lady

See, I always wanted to go Dutch, at least until I was comfortable with someone. I didn't want to be stuck someplace with a guy who felt like I owed him for dinner.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 minutes ago, mthor said:

See, I always wanted to go Dutch, at least until I was comfortable with someone. I didn't want to be stuck someplace with a guy who felt like I owed him for dinner.

I'm never stuck. Say or do something crazy and bet I pull my keys out of my purse and walk off. 

Plus with ubers and lyfts .... even if I didn't meet you there  

giphy.gif?cid=82a1493b293963zyf6u920tx6r

 

Edited by Vamped
  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

22 minutes ago, Real_AirCooledGirl said:

I never understood why "the guy" always had to pay for dates. That's very sexist and any woman who subscribes to that line of thinking is selling out her own sex. In my own experience, it also made me feel very dysphoric to be thrust into the boyfriend role. I'd rather be pampered by another woman.

I expect chivalry on a date and to be treated like a lady.

Open the door for me ..... pay the bill. These are basics. 

But please explain how it's selling out 

 

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

41 minutes ago, Real_AirCooledGirl said:

I never understood why "the guy" always had to pay for dates. That's very sexist and any woman who subscribes to that line of thinking is selling out her own sex. In my own experience, it also made me feel very dysphoric to be thrust into the boyfriend role. I'd rather be pampered by another woman.

All I'm getting from this is you only see dating as self lucrative.

Despite the role you play in a relationship, you don't want to have to pay.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

33 minutes ago, Vamped said:

I'm never stuck. Say or do something crazy and bet I pull my keys out of my purse and walk off. 

Plus with ubers and lyfts .... even if I didn't meet you there  

giphy.gif?cid=82a1493b293963zyf6u920tx6r

 

Well, i should have probably qualified it by saying that I haven't actually been on a date since sometime in the last millennium.

(Uber? Lyft? Keys? I don't trust them horseless carriages.)

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Vamped said:

I expect chivalry on a date and to be treated like a lady.

Open the door for me ..... pay the bill. These are basics. 

But please explain how it's selling out 

 

Out of curiosity, what about being a lady means you inherently shouldn't pay or hold a door?

If I do either of those (and I do a lot of the time), it's out of courtesy and not because the other person has a vagina. I'll do those things for male friends, too, despite having no romantic or sexual interest in men.

Doing it to treat another person like a lady sounds dubiously like "nice guy" shenanigans.

 

Edited by naraku360
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Real_AirCooledGirl said:

I never understood why "the guy" always had to pay for dates. That's very sexist and any woman who subscribes to that line of thinking is selling out her own sex. In my own experience, it also made me feel very dysphoric to be thrust into the boyfriend role. I'd rather be pampered by another woman.

Paying for someone else on a date doesn't make you feel dysphoric.  You're just trying to justify being a glutton without having to pay for it.

Also, it's not about "guys" being the chivalrous ones.  It's about the person on the date who has better means to pay for the outing.  No woman who is serious about the date is going to inisist a guy pay what she knows he can't afford, but, at the same time, most guys will insist on paying because it's a way of showing her that he is willing to invest in a meaningful relationship.  Furthermore, it's not about how much is spent, it's about the willingness to spend it:  plenty of women don't want to feel like they're beholden to the man by having him buy their time, but, at the same time, they want to know the guy is more serious than just being friends.  People who ask to "go dutch" on a date are only looking to be friends.

Edited by scoobdog
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Real_AirCooledGirl said:

I never understood why "the guy" always had to pay for dates. That's very sexist and any woman who subscribes to that line of thinking is selling out her own sex. In my own experience, it also made me feel very dysphoric to be thrust into the boyfriend role. I'd rather be pampered by another woman.

My standards of, "Naw, bitch, you gotta pay," is mostly for straight cis dudes. If I gotta worry about being raped/murdered and put some safety measures in place while also having to deal with other downsides to dating that mostly women face...uh un...I ain't paying for shit. Now if I get into a long term relationship, that's a different story because me and the other person would be partners. Paying my share would be acceptable then.

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 minutes ago, naraku360 said:

Out of curiosity, what about being a lady means you inherently shouldn't pay or hold a door?

If I do either of those (and I do a lot of the time), it's out of courtesy and not because the other person has a vagina. I'll do those things for male friends, too, despite having no romantic or sexual interest in men.

Doing it to treat another person like a lady sounds dubiously like "nice guy" shenanigans.

 

What are nice guy shenanigans? 

Also I didnt say I never pay or hold doors in general. 

On a date, if a man asks me out, holding a door and paying the check demonstrates interest and consideration.

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 hours ago, GuyBeardmane said:

I was given a love letter once.  It wasn't really a love letter as in there was no confession of love, but it was sweet and charming.  She compared me to wheatgrass but in a super poetic way and it made me feel a way.

did your PP tingle?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don’t mind paying for dates, but my SO makes significantly more than me because he is an assistant director position. He is also from Tennessee. He has never let me pay for anything.

He doesn’t think it is the person’s obligation if they make less than. He also believes women shouldn’t pay for dates, but in a relationship things are split. Like he pays the bill and i leave the tip

realistically after he pays 100+:

 

EF218E0D-9BB3-493F-AF65-17E1967B873C.jpeg

Edited by Baby_Yoda
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

16 hours ago, naraku360 said:

Out of curiosity, what about being a lady means you inherently shouldn't pay or hold a door?

If I do either of those (and I do a lot of the time), it's out of courtesy and not because the other person has a vagina. I'll do those things for male friends, too, despite having no romantic or sexual interest in men.

Doing it to treat another person like a lady sounds dubiously like "nice guy" shenanigans.

 

We did discuss the fact that we treat our lady friends further up with the same respect. 
 

The chivalry part came to the fact where literally every date I went on I me only me paid for everything. 

Edited by UnDeRwOrlDpRiNcEsS
Link to comment
Share on other sites

16 hours ago, Vamped said:

What are nice guy shenanigans? 

Also I didnt say I never pay or hold doors in general. 

On a date, if a man asks me out, holding a door and paying the check demonstrates interest and consideration.

Like when guys are nice to women for a reward rather than to be nice.

I guess that makes sense. I never fully understood the idea since it's seemed to be culturally related to women being treated like they can't take care of themselves and that always weirded me out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, naraku360 said:

I never fully understood the idea since it's seemed to be culturally related to women being treated like they can't take care of themselves and that always weirded me out.

It isn't that women couldn't "take care of themselves".  I got chewed out for stepping in front of a coworker to get on an elevator first.  I and another guy had to explain that we (guys) are supposed to be first on/last off, in case of a malfunction.  Guys are supposed to hold doors & chairs - probably because dresses would either get in the way in the Victorian era...hard to manage one of those things with a bustle and hold a door or move a chair I would think.  Guys are supposed to walk to the outside on a sidewalk, so we get splashed...but in urban areas, guys were also supposed to be to the inside so that any trash thrown out a window didn't fall on the lady.  Guys should lead going downstairs and follow going upstairs, in case the lady loses her footing (probably because of heels, I'd guess).

We guys are considered expendable...and I've got no problem with that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, tsar4 said:

It isn't that women couldn't "take care of themselves".  I got chewed out for stepping in front of a coworker to get on an elevator first.  I and another guy had to explain that we (guys) are supposed to be first on/last off, in case of a malfunction.  Guys are supposed to hold doors & chairs - probably because dresses would either get in the way in the Victorian era...hard to manage one of those things with a bustle and hold a door or move a chair I would think.  Guys are supposed to walk to the outside on a sidewalk, so we get splashed...but in urban areas, guys were also supposed to be to the inside so that any trash thrown out a window didn't fall on the lady.  Guys should lead going downstairs and follow going upstairs, in case the lady loses her footing (probably because of heels, I'd guess).

We guys are considered expendable...and I've got no problem with that.

I've never looked at it as expendable. I'd say protective and considerate. Those are just behaviors of a gentleman ... to me anyway. 

 

  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...