garbagepailcat Posted February 5, 2019 Posted February 5, 2019 This will be long winded and pointless. Everything besides the idea of actually being married sounds like a chore. I definitely don’t want a wedding, but my fiance’s Mom seems butthurt at the idea of not being there to see her first born get married, which makes me feel guilty. Plus, the fact that he mentioned it to me at all makes me think that he doesn’t want to hurt his mom’s feelings or maybe he wants family there. We had tentatively planned on eloping and bringing a close friend/photographer along to capture the moment so that we could later share it during a reception with friends and family. That sounds uncomfortable to me too though cause we have to hire an officiant and do a bunch of bullshit. I like the idea cause the friend was like, “yeah, I’ll shoot the elopement if you pay for my flights,” which is still rad, but it would be about the same as a full blown wedding and then I’m traveling with other people and I don’t really want to share the experience with anyone besides my fiancé. So the next thought was that we could just get married in the courthouse, go somewhere and exchange vows and take wedding portraits, go on our honeymoon, and have a small celebration or make an announcement when we return. Everything is still up in the air, which drives me crazy because I 1: hate uncertainty, 2: want to be married, 3: am bad at decision making. I just want a fancy dress, no people, no big deal, but to still be able to look back on the moment through pictures. ??? 2
garbagepailcat Posted February 5, 2019 Author Posted February 5, 2019 Me either, dude. It’s a wonder that someone wants to marry me. 2
QueenoftheDorks Posted February 5, 2019 Posted February 5, 2019 Have you proposed still eloping, but just bringing his mom to the ceremony? I mean if it's just about his mom witnessing it then it shouldn't matter where she witnesses it, but just as long as she's there? If it's leading to a big wedding for her benefit then it's not really your wedding, you know? 4
Poof Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 When and if i get married im considering nobody's needs/wants/preferences but mine. Maybe the groom's. MAYBE. so i say u should make it exactly how u want it and no other way but that 1
Guest Fart_Hole Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 You should have a nudist wedding and invite everybody you know then show up fully dressed.
Phillies Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 2 hours ago, garbagepailcat said: Me either, dude. It’s a wonder that someone wants to marry me. we should have gotten married then! one basement dweller to another!
Mr Owl Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 Just now, Phillies said: we should have gotten married then! one basement dweller to another! Does fuggz know?
GunStarHero Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 Definitely not a fan of big weddings, either. If I ever get married I want it to just be a small affair at the courthouse and maybe celebrate with a few close friends with a night out. 2
enad Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 I'm hoping I'm dead before I need to ponder such considerations. 1
Mix Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 I remember someone saying weddings aren't for the bride and groom, they're for the people who attend... There was more, but I can't remember
Hornshire Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 39 minutes ago, Mix said: I remember someone saying weddings aren't for the bride and groom, they're for the people who attend... There was more, but I can't remember Weddings are basically funerals. 1 1 1
Zenigundam Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 I didn't read all that, but marry me instead. I've got some cool things happening.
Mix Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 39 minutes ago, Kweerie said: Weddings are basically funerals. 1
Age of S'jet Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 13 hours ago, garbagepailcat said: This will be long winded and pointless. Everything besides the idea of actually being married sounds like a chore. I definitely don’t want a wedding, but my fiance’s Mom seems butthurt at the idea of not being there to see her first born get married, which makes me feel guilty. Plus, the fact that he mentioned it to me at all makes me think that he doesn’t want to hurt his mom’s feelings or maybe he wants family there. We had tentatively planned on eloping and bringing a close friend/photographer along to capture the moment so that we could later share it during a reception with friends and family. That sounds uncomfortable to me too though cause we have to hire an officiant and do a bunch of bullshit. I like the idea cause the friend was like, “yeah, I’ll shoot the elopement if you pay for my flights,” which is still rad, but it would be about the same as a full blown wedding and then I’m traveling with other people and I don’t really want to share the experience with anyone besides my fiancé. So the next thought was that we could just get married in the courthouse, go somewhere and exchange vows and take wedding portraits, go on our honeymoon, and have a small celebration or make an announcement when we return. Everything is still up in the air, which drives me crazy because I 1: hate uncertainty, 2: want to be married, 3: am bad at decision making. I just want a fancy dress, no people, no big deal, but to still be able to look back on the moment through pictures. ??? Marriage and love are supposed to be a mutual compromise. But our generation sees it much less that way than the priors. Do things for yourself, not for the well being of others.
Clu Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 We booked for the Keys. Destination wedding. Done.
fuggstop Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 24 minutes ago, Clu said: We booked for the Keys. Destination wedding. I can come right
Clu Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 8 minutes ago, fuggstop said: I can come right Nah 1
Vamped Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 I can see both sides. Why not just ask him if its just his mom who wants to be there or if he wants all his family there and then make a decision. If its just his mom, you can just take her along to wherever you want to have the actual ceremony. You'll still get your fancy dress, she can cry, everything will be cool. Or just book a reception hall since you're having a reception anyway, get married at the courthouse, and then just exchange vows at the beginning of the reception so everyone can see. 1
garbagepailcat Posted February 6, 2019 Author Posted February 6, 2019 17 hours ago, Poof said: When and if i get married im considering nobody's needs/wants/preferences but mine. Maybe the groom's. MAYBE. so i say u should make it exactly how u want it and no other way but that This is the way I feel, but I’m pussing out about it cause I don’t want to hurt any feelings. Husboy -says- he’s fine with whatever I want and that it’s all about my special day and all that good stuff, but idk. I have too much anxiety to make big decisions, which is part of why I blew off the idea of having a big wedding in the first place. I’m such a perfectionist that I’d want my hands in every single little detail until I eventually drive myself insane.
garbagepailcat Posted February 6, 2019 Author Posted February 6, 2019 15 hours ago, Juice McKenzie said: i didn't even know you were married I’m not yet. That’s the point of the thread. Also, I don’t have a fucking clue who you are. Y’all change your names too much. 😂 1
garbagepailcat Posted February 6, 2019 Author Posted February 6, 2019 13 hours ago, Mix said: I remember someone saying weddings aren't for the bride and groom, they're for the people who attend... There was more, but I can't remember That sounds so shitty to me? Thats why I’m not trying to have people. I want it to be about my fiancé and me. 1
fuggstop Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 2 minutes ago, garbagepailcat said: That sounds so shitty to me? Thats why I’m not trying to have people. I want it to be about my fiancé and me. Youll realize this. If u have kids realize the first number of birthday parties aint for the kid either lol
garbagepailcat Posted February 6, 2019 Author Posted February 6, 2019 4 hours ago, Clu said: We booked for the Keys. Destination wedding. Done. That sounds nice. Are y’all inviting family and friends?
garbagepailcat Posted February 6, 2019 Author Posted February 6, 2019 1 minute ago, fuggstop said: Youll realize this. If u have kids realize the first number of birthday parties aint for the kid either lol I think I disagree with the idea that a wedding is for the guests, which is why I feel weird about his mom feeling entitled to be there.
fuggstop Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 3 minutes ago, garbagepailcat said: I think I disagree with the idea that a wedding is for the guests, which is why I feel weird about his mom feeling entitled to be there. Learn to put yer foot down now or the in law will start feeling entitled to more shit despite your feelings. 1
bnmjy Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 Personally, I'd go to Vegas and bring whomever along.
Clu Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 8 minutes ago, garbagepailcat said: That sounds nice. Are y’all inviting family and friends? Open invitation to whomever wants to go.
fuggstop Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 1 minute ago, Clu said: Open invitation to whomever wants to go. Cept me 😭
garbagepailcat Posted February 6, 2019 Author Posted February 6, 2019 7 minutes ago, fuggstop said: Learn to put yer foot down now or the in law will start feeling entitled to more shit despite your feelings. That’s the struggle. A balance between putting my foot down and not hurting feelings. I thought I could get around it by having wedding portraits or a reception, but she’s like “you’ll need a witness.” She’s very kind and has helped us a lot, and I don’t think want to be mean. Most importantly though, that shit ain’t about her. I just need to talk it over with my fiancé again and make sure that he’s fine without her there.
garbagepailcat Posted February 6, 2019 Author Posted February 6, 2019 9 minutes ago, bnmjy said: Personally, I'd go to Vegas and bring whomever along. We’ve talked about it, but I don’t want to bring anyone along. We actually went to Vegas for my graduation trip, and he proposed at the Grand Canyon. Should have just got married while we were still there.
garbagepailcat Posted February 6, 2019 Author Posted February 6, 2019 8 minutes ago, Clu said: Open invitation to whomever wants to go. You’re braver than I am. 1
DragonSinger Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 3 minutes ago, garbagepailcat said: That’s the struggle. A balance between putting my foot down and not hurting feelings. I thought I could get around it by having wedding portraits or a reception, but she’s like “you’ll need a witness.” She’s very kind and has helped us a lot, and I don’t think want to be mean. Most importantly though, that shit ain’t about her. I just need to talk it over with my fiancé again and make sure that he’s fine without her there. That sounds like the best thing to do. 1
Mix Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 (edited) 47 minutes ago, garbagepailcat said: That sounds so shitty to me? Thats why I’m not trying to have people. I want it to be about my fiancé and me. well, it was about you and your partner until you guys decided "hey, lets get the government and maybe even god in on this thing we got" lmao, that was the other part of the thing I couldn't remember before... Hey, has anyone congratulated you yet? Congrats, garbage ....uhh, you need a new first name....Congrats, homie Edited February 6, 2019 by Mix
Mix Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 45 minutes ago, bnmjy said: Personally, I'd go to Vegas and bring whomever along. It's settled then. The pact is sealed. If we aren't married by the time we're forty.....or, when i'm 40 and your, what, 65.....we'll meet in Vegas and tie the knot beats dying alone right 1
Poof Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 2 hours ago, garbagepailcat said: This is the way I feel, but I’m pussing out about it cause I don’t want to hurt any feelings. Husboy -says- he’s fine with whatever I want and that it’s all about my special day and all that good stuff, but idk. I have too much anxiety to make big decisions, which is part of why I blew off the idea of having a big wedding in the first place. I’m such a perfectionist that I’d want my hands in every single little detail until I eventually drive myself insane. Don't stress. Make it your day not a perfect day. Whatever you want. One thing I don't think you should do is worry about his mom. 2
fuggstop Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 10 minutes ago, Poof said: Don't stress. Make it your day not a perfect day. Whatever you want. One thing I don't think you should do is worry about his mom. I stopped talking to my bff from highschool because she was crying over the fact that her parents wanted her brother....who abused her...to come to her wedding I thought it was the dumbest thing ever Just say .Helll the fuck no And go on with your life Fuck...thatd make me uninvite my parents and feel just FINE
Zenigundam Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 And she curved me. Did you guys see that? Did all of y'all see that? S'matter of fact, garbagepailcat.. 🖕🔥🤘👨💻😼
Juice McKenzie Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 3 hours ago, garbagepailcat said: I’m not yet. That’s the point of the thread. Also, I don’t have a fucking clue who you are. Y’all change your names too much. 😂 I meant I didn't know you were engaged. I was Saiyanman but you probably wouldn't remember. I'm not really a character that others would remember.
Zenigundam Posted February 6, 2019 Posted February 6, 2019 PTA did the same thing to me and I exposed her over Discord. Lemme catch this bus, bro! 🚅 Godamn BULLET train!!! 🔥 1
nameraka Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 been there. my wife and i were the same. we wanted to be married but didn't want the big production. initially we were just going to elope, but my mom threw a fit, so we compromised on a small ceremony in a family member's back yard. it was actually kind of nice, and i guess it's the price for having family. sometimes they need to feel included even if it isn't really about them. 1 1
Distortedreasoning Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 have a wedding but make it really lazy? that way no stress of making it nice and make people that want to see you wed happy? idk sounds like you could make her upset for life and she might hold it over you till she dies.
garbagepailcat Posted February 8, 2019 Author Posted February 8, 2019 8 hours ago, nameraka said: been there. my wife and i were the same. we wanted to be married but didn't want the big production. initially we were just going to elope, but my mom threw a fit, so we compromised on a small ceremony in a family member's back yard. it was actually kind of nice, and i guess it's the price for having family. sometimes they need to feel included even if it isn't really about them. Do you regret anything about the decision you made? Would you have preferred to elope, or was having your family there particularly meaningful?
nameraka Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 2 hours ago, garbagepailcat said: Do you regret anything about the decision you made? Would you have preferred to elope, or was having your family there particularly meaningful? i would have personally been fine either way. there is something to be said for saying the vows in front of people who've known you your entire life. i think it gave the moment a bit more weight. i honestly didn't expect to feel the gravity of the moment as much as i did. i went into it thinking it was kind of a perfunctory declaration of what was already true.
little_girl_lost Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 when my mum got married for the second time she did it at a justice of the peace's house and the only ones there were the kids. afterwards had a family get-together at the house for the reception and her husbands parents got them side-by-side burial plots as a wedding gift 1
RainyDayJizz#35 Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 23 minutes ago, little_girl_lost said: when my mum got married for the second time she did it at a justice of the peace's house and the only ones there were the kids. afterwards had a family get-together at the house for the reception and her husbands parents got them side-by-side burial plots as a wedding gift So double murder or murder-suicide? 1
little_girl_lost Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 1 minute ago, GreatBallsOfJizz said: So double murder or murder-suicide? Dealer's choice
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