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how do you convince someone super introverted to do stuff


Naraku4656

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Work with them on their level. 

Sometimes it's not so much being introverted as it is not being comfortable around others. Once they are 100% comfortable around you, they are more likely to do other things with you. 

Also, bookstores and coffee are very good places for introverts. We rule those places. :D

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trying to do that. i'm not an extrovert by any stretch but i do things where there are going to be people. going out it's usually to places they like, which isn't a big huge deal or anything. but i'd like to eventually do stuff i like to do, but they don't want to because the places i go are usually more crowded

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4 minutes ago, Mini_Ghost said:

^ very well said

Been dealing with this stuff for a long, long time.  Never was very "chatty" for chattys sake.  But at a party or a bar in a deep one-on-one conversation, I was happy.  A friend took me to a bar (2nd incarnation of a famous/infamous bar in Chicago "O'Rourke's" https://www.chibarproject.com/Memoriam/O'Rourke's/O'Rourke's.htm  see the pic.) where I got into this deep discussion with a gentleman about philosophy, religion & politics.  Everything was polite & good-natured and it was probably the 2nd or 3rd best time I ever had in a bar.  A few weeks later, the bar closed and I was really disappointed.

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go out to places when its not very busy. like if you both are able to go out in the middle of the week on a weekday. maybe in the mornings where there arent many ppl. 

personally i enjoyed shopping most during those times, early morning weekdays theres hardly anyone around, i didnt have to feel like i was getting in anyones way. things were on the shelves and not the floor. or late at night maybe an hour before a store closes.

since working with the public ive gotten a lot better dealing with crowds. but i still have anxiety sometimes, and sometimes its hard for me personally to be around alotta ppl. 

theres alotta fun things you can do too besides shopping the whole weekday thing includes just about anywhere. the zoo, museums, um... plays? 

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4 hours ago, Naraku4656 said:

trying to do that. i'm not an extrovert by any stretch but i do things where there are going to be people. going out it's usually to places they like, which isn't a big huge deal or anything. but i'd like to eventually do stuff i like to do, but they don't want to because the places i go are usually more crowded

It sucks but there's nothing you can do, they're just going to be Like That and you'll grow to resent them for all the times they made you take them home when you were just starting to relax and hang out w your friends somewhere for only like 30 minutes and it'll make you crazy 

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On 1/5/2019 at 5:40 PM, tsar4 said:
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3. Unexpected phone calls

One of my former bandmates kept video chatting me on facebook or calling me, and I had to tell him, dude, TEXT. Texting is god's gift to introverts.

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7. Feeling the need to fill the silence with things that don’t matter while not caring to talk about the things that do matter
For introverts, it doesn’t get more annoying than a parade of empty small talk.

I fucking HATE small talk. Probably because I don't even know how to do it. :|

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8. Gossip
Some people are open books about their lives, so they don’t realize that many introverts are private and feel incredibly self-conscious when others lay bare their intimate details.

Yeah, pretty much. I used to be a pretty open book on the anonymity of the Internet, but intensely private irl. Now I'm not so much an open book online, but I'm still comfortable telling you guys I'm a virgin.

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13. Not respecting your personal conversations
Similar to #8. You tell someone something personal about your life that you think is just between the two of you — and then they bring it up to the group. Now everyone’s all up in your business, making you the dreaded center of attention.

Ha. In one of my last jobs, a coworker privately asked me if I was a virgin. If asked, I admit it because I find that preferable to having to foolishly "prove" otherwise. Anyway, his wife worked in the same office as us, he told his wife because blah blah husband and wife don't keep secrets, blah blah, then the next day the whole office knew. 

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19. The assumption that everyone needs to act extroverted
One person’s party might be an introvert’s worst nightmare. But that doesn’t mean introverts are broken and need to be fixed. Introverts enjoy life in their own quiet way — and there’s nothing wrong with that. 

Fuck, I HATE parties. It's just me all alone in a crowd. I hate that. I mean, it's fine if I'm not expected to be talking to everyone, but at a party you're supposed to be talking with SOMEBODY. Like the entire time.

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I hate small talk. I dont understand what it accomplishes .... Im soooo tired of hearing "I haven't seen you since last year"  at work. FUUUUCK shut up and tell me what you want!

How long can we keep talking about the weather or the government shutdown?! 

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So, there are some things you can do that will make it easier for them:
- Have a core group of three to four people that you regularly hang with that can serve as a buffer from crowds.

- Plan things well in advance, so they have plenty of time to store up energy for it.
- Find events with smaller venues, or areas that can be isolated from everyone else.

But to get them to agree to go in the first place (keep in mind that it is likely that they really do not want to go, even if they end up agreeing to) you need to explain what's so important to you about making them uncomfortable. And that's exactly what it is, so you should understand yourself why it's worth you pushing to them to do so.

And don't ever suggest that it would be "good" or "healthy" for them.

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