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Humpback Whale SWALLOWS Kayaker 'I thought I was done for'


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I remember seeing Billie Eilish on Colbert saying how she thought whales were the scariest animal to her, and I remember thinking like "is she nuts? Whales aren't that scary." Now I'm not so sure, LOL. It's actually physically impossible though for a humpback to totally swallow a human cuz their throats are about the size of a human fist. Only just learned about that upon reading about this story though, and I can't imagine there's many people out there who know that, so easy to see why this guy would think he was about to be the whale's lunch there.

Edited by Dark_Cloud_Overhead
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I think the possibility of drowning from an encounter like this is a bigger factor than being officially swallowed. 

But it was still definitely something to see caught on tape. Most of the time it's just people getting punted into the water when a whale surfaces under them. 

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New fear unlocked....whale coming up out of my toilet and swallowing me.

I had heard that a whale can't swallow a human but I never looked into it because why....I ain't going out there. Mfers love to talk about going on cruises, but you'll catch me jumping out of a plane first. The fear of water that Louisiana can instill in you is real.

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18 minutes ago, André Toulon said:

New fear unlocked....whale coming up out of my toilet and swallowing me.

I had heard that a whale can't swallow a human but I never looked into it because why....I ain't going out there. Mfers love to talk about going on cruises, but you'll catch me jumping out of a plane first. The fear of water that Louisiana can instill in you is real.

i ever tell you about how i learned to swim in the summer of '75?

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10 hours ago, katt_goddess said:

I think the possibility of drowning from an encounter like this is a bigger factor than being officially swallowed. 

But it was still definitely something to see caught on tape. Most of the time it's just people getting punted into the water when a whale surfaces under them. 

Yeah thank god whales have an impressive gag reflex. :LithiumSmileyIndifferent: and lolz still watching the vid and apparently orcas still out there gang ganging boats. Glad I'm a land locked mf sometimes.. 

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12 hours ago, PhilosipherStoned said:

Yeah thank god whales have an impressive gag reflex. :LithiumSmileyIndifferent: and lolz still watching the vid and apparently orcas still out there gang ganging boats. Glad I'm a land locked mf sometimes.. 

Yachts. I'm thinking its their smell. Something that rich people are unloading out of their big boat waste receptacles directly into the ocean is drawing orcas to just beat the shit out of them. They aren't going after the little working boats and you know those guys also have to poop in the sea too.

The kitten misses the litter box because she's sick, I clean it up, give her a lecture while doing so and then make sure she has extra water with an ice cube and maybe a very small piece of cheese because it's not her fault [ well, it is because she keeps chewing on the poison plants but that's beside the point ]. You come into my home and shit on the floor, I'm going to power slam your face into the mess and keep rubbing until I hit bone. 

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9 hours ago, katt_goddess said:

Yachts. I'm thinking its their smell. Something that rich people are unloading out of their big boat waste receptacles directly into the ocean is drawing orcas to just beat the shit out of them. They aren't going after the little working boats and you know those guys also have to poop in the sea too.

The kitten misses the litter box because she's sick, I clean it up, give her a lecture while doing so and then make sure she has extra water with an ice cube and maybe a very small piece of cheese because it's not her fault [ well, it is because she keeps chewing on the poison plants but that's beside the point ]. You come into my home and shit on the floor, I'm going to power slam your face into the mess and keep rubbing until I hit bone. 

Man I posted this vid this dude was genuinely kind of shaken up , but also kind of excited when one made his boat do a 180. He seems more like an adventurer than anything and I love how calm and cool he was about the orca playing with his vessel.  I made a whole thread about orcas even breaking off and stealing rudders like a trophy one time. 

I think this was the vid.

 

Edited by PhilosipherStoned
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12 hours ago, katt_goddess said:

Yachts. I'm thinking its their smell. Something that rich people are unloading out of their big boat waste receptacles directly into the ocean is drawing orcas to just beat the shit out of them. They aren't going after the little working boats and you know those guys also have to poop in the sea too.

The kitten misses the litter box because she's sick, I clean it up, give her a lecture while doing so and then make sure she has extra water with an ice cube and maybe a very small piece of cheese because it's not her fault [ well, it is because she keeps chewing on the poison plants but that's beside the point ]. You come into my home and shit on the floor, I'm going to power slam your face into the mess and keep rubbing until I hit bone. 

No!

https://newatlas.com/biology/orcas-killer-whales-boats/

If this article is true, it's conservation working. Their main food source is being replenished in the area, so they're spending less time having to hunt... which means they get bored and playful, and fuck boats up

 

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On 2/14/2025 at 1:22 PM, Dark_Cloud_Overhead said:

I remember seeing Billie Eilish on Colbert saying how she thought whales were the scariest animal to her, and I remember thinking like "is she nuts? Whales aren't that scary." Now I'm not so sure, LOL. It's actually physically impossible though for a humpback to totally swallow a human cuz their throats are about the size of a human fist. Only just learned about that upon reading about this story though, and I can't imagine there's many people out there who know that, so easy to see why this guy would think he was about to be the whale's lunch there.

My best friend's family grew up at 29 palms

He always joked about his brother crying when they took their fishing boat out and saw a whale so they tried to get a little closer. Then I visited boston and took a duck tour with my brother and our friend to see whales, never again. They're majestic and all, but it's also terrifying being next to an animal that is so much larger than you. It also didn't help the water was just dark. It looked nothing like the ocean on tv or movies, more like one of the murky man made lakes we have here. I'm assuming that due to the high amount of boat traffic, but then why would whales hangout there?

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10 hours ago, molarbear said:

No!

https://newatlas.com/biology/orcas-killer-whales-boats/

If this article is true, it's conservation working. Their main food source is being replenished in the area, so they're spending less time having to hunt... which means they get bored and playful, and fuck boats up

 

That still doesn't exclude my idea that yachts are smelly and therefore attract orcas. :P :D 

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11 hours ago, molarbear said:

 

They're mammals

If they smelled underwater they would drown :LithiumSmileyWinking:

Actually, I was curious about this, so did some checking and seems some mammals can smell underwater. Star-nosed moles and water shrews. They accomplish the feat by basically blowing bubbles out their nostrils and sucking it back in right away. It's also now believed baleen whales, which includes humpbacks, may use their sense of smell to help them locate food by detecting the gas dimethyl sulfide that's released by phytoplankton. To do so they have to come to the surface though, unlike the moles and water shrews. Toothed whales, like the orca, it seems however don't have the olfactory organs or brain lobe for smelling, so sad to say after all looks like the theory of them being attracted to the yachts' smell is in fact, pardon the pun, dead in the water. ^_^

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8 hours ago, Dark_Cloud_Overhead said:

Actually, I was curious about this, so did some checking and seems some mammals can smell underwater. Star-nosed moles and water shrews. They accomplish the feat by basically blowing bubbles out their nostrils and sucking it back in right away. It's also now believed baleen whales, which includes humpbacks, may use their sense of smell to help them locate food by detecting the gas dimethyl sulfide that's released by phytoplankton. To do so they have to come to the surface though, unlike the moles and water shrews. Toothed whales, like the orca, it seems however don't have the olfactory organs or brain lobe for smelling, so sad to say after all looks like the theory of them being attracted to the yachts' smell is in fact, pardon the pun, dead in the water. ^_^

But what if orcas have a form of synesthesia that we haven't been able to pinpoint yet? They might taste smells. 

I'm being obnoxious at this point because I don't really care so long as they terrorize rich assholes. But it's still a thought. Synesthesia can be a real trip.

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ok. ok. 

the summer of 1975 was the year i learned to swim, in the ocean, after seeing the movie jaws, at a drive in, in ocean city, md. 

the parental unit carried me out in the ocean on he neck, like a piggy back thing...as the wave rolled by he tossed me. 

i was in 2nd grade (?)*

it's actually funny....sort of in a dark twisted way. 

 

 

Spoiler

*everyone breaking out calculaters and shit. 

 

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3 hours ago, discolé monade said:

ok. ok. 

the summer of 1975 was the year i learned to swim, in the ocean, after seeing the movie jaws, at a drive in, in ocean city, md. 

the parental unit carried me out in the ocean on he neck, like a piggy back thing...as the wave rolled by he tossed me. 

i was in 2nd grade (?)*

it's actually funny....sort of in a dark twisted way. 

 

 

  Hide contents

*everyone breaking out calculaters and shit. 

 

27

SNL's started in 75 and they just had their 50th anniversary yesterday

....so I subtracted 30 from my guess

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13 hours ago, Dark_Cloud_Overhead said:

Actually, I was curious about this, so did some checking and seems some mammals can smell underwater. Star-nosed moles and water shrews. They accomplish the feat by basically blowing bubbles out their nostrils and sucking it back in right away. It's also now believed baleen whales, which includes humpbacks, may use their sense of smell to help them locate food by detecting the gas dimethyl sulfide that's released by phytoplankton. To do so they have to come to the surface though, unlike the moles and water shrews. Toothed whales, like the orca, it seems however don't have the olfactory organs or brain lobe for smelling, so sad to say after all looks like the theory of them being attracted to the yachts' smell is in fact, pardon the pun, dead in the water. ^_^

 

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15 hours ago, discolé monade said:

ok. ok. 

the summer of 1975 was the year i learned to swim, in the ocean, after seeing the movie jaws, at a drive in, in ocean city, md. 

the parental unit carried me out in the ocean on he neck, like a piggy back thing...as the wave rolled by he tossed me. 

i was in 2nd grade (?)*

it's actually funny....sort of in a dark twisted way. 

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

*everyone breaking out calculaters and shit. 

 

So, 1975 was an ok year?

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On 2/17/2025 at 11:11 AM, Dark_Cloud_Overhead said:

Actually, I was curious about this, so did some checking and seems some mammals can smell underwater. Star-nosed moles and water shrews. They accomplish the feat by basically blowing bubbles out their nostrils and sucking it back in right away. It's also now believed baleen whales, which includes humpbacks, may use their sense of smell to help them locate food by detecting the gas dimethyl sulfide that's released by phytoplankton. To do so they have to come to the surface though, unlike the moles and water shrews. Toothed whales, like the orca, it seems however don't have the olfactory organs or brain lobe for smelling, so sad to say after all looks like the theory of them being attracted to the yachts' smell is in fact, pardon the pun, dead in the water. ^_^

cetaceans have developed other means of tracking their prey. They can echolocate. They have their own sonar of sorts. I though they might have evolved a way to smell underwater myself, but apparently they don't use smell after doing some research. I found basically the same answers you did so no need to post all that I guess.. 

It may be interesting to post how orca do track their prey however.

 

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I wonder, if/when AI enables us to communicate with the orca someday, what will be the first thing they end up telling us. Probably something like "stop throwing all your trash in our home!" Heh, that's interesting that they've discovered that different groups of them have developed their own distinct dialects. Even if we could talk with them, not really sure what there is we could tell them though, given we live worlds apart. We probably have a lot more to learn from them than they do from us when it comes to the oceans.

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