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UnevenEdge

Is 35 and 21 too big of an age difference?


Greeny

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1 hour ago, Greeny said:

So an 80 year old and a 90 year old is too much?

I don't think people are thinking in relative terms....Just the huge gap in age.  Like I said, I wouldn't date one, but not because I think it's wrong....Both parties are full fledged adults.  But I know I have NOTHING in common with a 21 year old chick.

If I were 45 and she 31....Hmmmm, I might give it a go....I figure she's lived enough to have had enough experiences that she had a firmer grasp on reality......But if it were 25 and an 11 year old, well I think you know where the jury stands on that.

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21 minutes ago, cyberbully said:

I don't think people are thinking in relative terms....Just the huge gap in age.  Like I said, I wouldn't date one, but not because I think it's wrong....Both parties are full fledged adults.  But I know I have NOTHING in common with a 21 year old chick.

If I were 45 and she 31....Hmmmm, I might give it a go....I figure she's lived enough to have had enough experiences that she had a firmer grasp on reality......But if it were 25 and an 11 year old, well I think you know where the jury stands on that.

I was mostly just giving him shit with that question.

She legitimately is more mature (and probably more responsible) than I am, which probably says more about me than it does her. Regardless, if she reminded me of the typical 21 year olds I've known I wouldn't even consider it. Not that I'm actually going to ask her out anyway. I'm just pretty sure she'd say yes if I did, and not gonna lie, it's nice to think about.

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i still think a 14 year age gap is too much in your 30s. i mean ok if you're 60 and she's 46, then maaaaaaaaaybe. but even thinking about dating a 21 year old if i was 35 would make my skin crawl

Edited by Naraku4656
can't subtract appararently
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Last year I attempted to ask out a girl (somewhere between 18 and 20) that I thought was hot. Normally I wouldn't go for anyone that young, but she's hot and I felt I had an "in" in that she saw my band play at a concert and proceeded to like our facebook page. She turned me down, and seeing a lot of her facebook posts over the course of almost a year later, I dodged a HUGE fucking bullet. :D I'll probably try to avoid that age range from now on, if I can help it. But someone as 5ever alone as me, it's hard to be picky with age, as long as she's legal, available, and good looking. :|

Now don't take this as me being like Zeni, I have a coworker that's 5 years older than me I would want to ask out, but she's not available. :(

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13 hours ago, Naraku4656 said:

i still think a 14 year age gap is too much in your 30s. i mean ok if you're 60 and she's 46, then maaaaaaaaaybe. but even thinking about dating a 21 year old if i was 35 would make my skin crawl

You don't even like dating women 1 year younger than you. You probably don't even like dating women your exact age. :P

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2 hours ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

Last year I attempted to ask out a girl (somewhere between 18 and 20) that I thought was hot. Normally I wouldn't go for anyone that young, but she's hot and I felt I had an "in" in that she saw my band play at a concert and proceeded to like our facebook page. She turned me down, and seeing a lot of her facebook posts over the course of almost a year later, I dodged a HUGE fucking bullet. :D I'll probably try to avoid that age range from now on, if I can help it. But someone as 5ever alone as me, it's hard to be picky with age, as long as she's legal, available, and good looking. :|

Now don't take this as me being like Zeni, I have a coworker that's 5 years older than me I would want to ask out, but she's not available. :(

Like I said before, if this girl acted 21 at all I wouldn't be interested in the slightest.

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It's not illegal. Morally speaking that depends upon what the relationship is for. If it's just for sex and both parties are aware that is all it is this tends to be the least morally entangling permutation of human romantic relationship. If this is something where one of these people want a long term emotional investment, well that is where things tend to become more complex. It also depends on the individual maturity level of said 21 year old. In my experience I tend to find people under 25 haven't had enough adult experience in life to be fully relatable.

The other factor is what your friend is seeking from this person. Are they OK with being the more mature one in the relationship, if that is whereally it leads? Having unrealistic expectations and pressures putting upon someone who is not capable of that level of maturity is where I tend to think possible emotional harm can come into the picture.

In short if it's legal age of consent and the above factors are not contraindications then yes there's no moral problem either.

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3 hours ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

You don't even like dating women 1 year younger than you. You probably don't even like dating women your exact age. :P

that's not entirely true. the youngest i've ever gone was 3 years younger, though that only lasted a month. the longest i ever had was a year younger than me and every other person, except for the one i'm with right now, has been younger than me.

Edited by Naraku4656
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On 3/6/2019 at 6:13 AM, Greeny said:

I was mostly just giving him shit with that question.

She legitimately is more mature (and probably more responsible) than I am, which probably says more about me than it does her. Regardless, if she reminded me of the typical 21 year olds I've known I wouldn't even consider it. Not that I'm actually going to ask her out anyway. I'm just pretty sure she'd say yes if I did, and not gonna lie, it's nice to think about.

So, if she'd say yes, why aren't you asking?

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