molarbear

numbers 1 and 2: if I was into dudes I would have seduced Enrique Iglesias , Idris Elba, or @AnimationFan14 long ago and produced beautiful children somehow with locks of gorgeous hair 3. laughed more than I should have 4. also laughed pretty hard 5. drank beer with my friends and pet 3 doggos. My friend's Aunt intrusted me with battering Jalapenos and I failed terribly, Number E: my friend's wife yells a lot Most importantly I got to see this pup today. Those are also my shoes in the background.... ignore them

I usually just sleep them off

I'd spray him with water and wait for his dehydrated looking skin to bloat up like the blueberry chick from Charlie and the Chocolate factory

He informed me that he filled up his pool and was firing up his grill I think it's going to be a good Saturday

Man I know saying "I'm sorry" isn't going to make you feel any better but I truly am sorry. mourn away I'm no expert but the fact that he lived to see her graduation seems like he went out on a really high note if a high note exist when losing a loved one I know for a fact when one of my Parents passes away I'm going to lose my shit so if you ever want to PM me and just tell me about how cool he was I'm willing to listen

I've had a couple drinks probably going to ruin this mood by playing xbox and getting my ass kicked by 10 year olds

I'm not saying good coffee doesn't exist, I'm just saying I won't like it It's kind of like when I tell people I don't like mushrooms... you can coat them in gold and I still won't get within 10 feet of them

Please personally deliver a message to @inhumanrampager for me Tell him Tom Brady is a filthy cheater I suggest taking along noise canceling headphones and wearing them after you tell him this because he will proceed to lecture you for at least 2 hours

I saw them live a couple years back it was a great show I distinctly remember it because I got shit on by a pigeon right after I parked

that is an adorable doggo

You forgot to put a spoiler on your nudes

I like to think they think they confuse thunder with a giant dog barking in the sky also can you post a picture of your dog.... for science purposes and not because I completely love puppers

apparently I moved my phone just enough while taking this picture that it made my left knee cap look non existent anywhoo this is me Thanks to modern technology I'm able to live a pretty normal life just consisting of legs and all

I think SYOD got back together so he's probably getting ready to tour

Congrats! I'm going to sit in my pajama attire all weekend and pretend the world doesn't exist I find that's much more enjoyable than the whole dating scene

Dude if I ever go to Portland coffee is going to be the last thing on my mind

The hot kind, the kind that kind of looks like a slushy but still taste like coffee even though your friend's wife swears up and down it doesn't.... I think that sums up my coffee experiences

I just cannot stand coffee it taste like what I imagine sweaty balls taste like after 12 hour day in a non climate controlled building

The Philly D show

Why would you tell him thi...........

looks it up see's that it has coffee in it makes mental note in head that I will never eat said object

I got my car washed...and then it rained all day which canceled all my outside plans so then I was really bored because I was having to re download a game that with dlc is about 90 gigs that slowed my internet down all day I did knock about 50 pages outta the book I've been reading though so I call that a win

Meh. I think they're actually pretty cool normally My Best friend's kid is hilarious Their kitchen is raised from the living room so there's a step and he hasn't figured out how to navigate that yet...so he literally just squats down and belly flops off and then looks and around while saying "Uh Oh"

I like Lobster and Crab but they're both super expensive right now Last time I was at the store I think Crab legs were $18 a pound