Doom Metal Alchemist

Have you tried amazon, ebay, craigslist, etsy, etc.?

I thought it was acceptable for adults to eat cereals like Lucky Charms and Cocoa Puffs now, so Crest Kids bubble gum toothpaste should be fine too.

Is she hot? I'll take her off your hands.

Shadow did it.

I almost always have my laptop plugged in. So that's at 100. I plugged my phone in a while ago when I got home from work, it was at 55 at the time. Now it is at 92.

Hey now, Jerry Seinfeld is a Mets fan. And fuck the Yankees. If you're a New York baseball fan that doesn't like The Yankees, I salute you.

Comedy Central used to occasionally show some form of "stand-up" Rowan Atkinson did that I loved. The air-drumming bit was probably the highlight.

I thought "blue balls" meant something else.

Our water tastes awful lately.

I watched SNL as a kid, kthnx. And Tsar's no big whoop reference was an obvious one for me. I'm sure Tsar will recognize this one too: "Like buttah."

Especially sarsaparilla, I bet.

I've never heard them, but they're notorious on the Metal Archives forum for putting out "horrible" noise singles on bandcamp like every single day. Have a look at their discography: https://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Sloth/16591

Wait, it GROWS there? You just made me realize it's been eons since I've had a rogue lash go into my eyes. It used to happen all the time. Wonder why it stopped, not that I'm complaining.

Welp, I guess that explains why I always needed a new prescription for my glasses every single year in my teens.

The next step is to tell them to get off your lawn.

If I've ever been done with anything in my life, it was the motherfucking turbo tunnel.

I walk a lot at my job. That's it. I'm not muscular but I'm not fat either, so, eh.

Nooooooooo. I don't fuck with either, but I absolutely hate being around drunk people. I have several friends that are stoners who get stoned in my company and not even once has any of them gotten on my nerves because of being high (drunk, absolutely).

I want some personal cleansing clothes. Don't wanna shower? Just get dressed!

This is confusing the absolute shit out of me. I would get this if it was about swallows.... but grasshoppers??????

I wish you the best of luck in quitting. How good idea this is or not I don't know, but many people quit smoking by switching to vaping.... but then sometimes they just get addicted to vaping. And I don't know if that would still aversely effect the health of your cat or if it is allowed in your apartment.

Regardless, that's gen-x if anything. Boomers would like, Dan Aykroid and Chevy Chase.

Chaw, gum, or seeds?

Well it's awesome you're on your own. I still live with my parents but I'm hoping to move out as soon as I save some money (I recently had a good chunk saved up but I've been using it to pay my parents back a big debit I've owed them for years).