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UnevenEdge

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Posted
4 minutes ago, cyberbully said:

Dear Penthouse Forum....I'm a plumber and I lay pipe for a living, but nothing could prepare me for the job that lay in wait for me this day.

It would start, Dear Penthouse forum, "And he was beaten to death by his wife that was waiting in the truck."

  • Haha 8
Posted
15 minutes ago, crackymckrackin said:

It would start, Dear Penthouse forum, "And he was beaten to death by his wife that was waiting in the truck."

You sure it wouldn't start, "My wife tried to test my faithfulness by hiring some woman to be nude while I worked..."

  • Haha 3
Posted
6 minutes ago, tsar4 said:

You sure it wouldn't start, "My wife tried to test my faithfulness by hiring some woman to be nude while I worked..."

She would never waste money on something like that. She has plenty of other reasons to beat me to death that don't cost anything. 

  • Haha 3
Posted
17 minutes ago, Vamped said:

The perfect set up .... Id be suspicious.

 

Hyperfocused on laying actual pipe 

The only thing that existed in her house was faucets and her bull dog that growled at me the entire time. 

Posted
14 minutes ago, That_One_Guy said:

You fuck? You better have fucked perseus. Don't tell me you fucked this up. You fucked this up didn't you? 

I would argue that I didn't fuck up. Stuff like this doesn't happen in real life without some hidden motive or agenda. I'm certainly not attractive enough to drop panties. 

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Posted
1 hour ago, crackymckrackin said:

I got called out to adjust some faucets on a house. The lady answered the door naked. 

She gave no fucks at all. Just showed me to the bathroom,  chatted the whole time....naked.

She must have thought you were the pizza guy

Posted (edited)

Well, there are 3 likely reasons she would answer the door naked and then continue to converse with you. That is one of them. 

Edited by lupin_bebop
Posted
4 hours ago, crackymckrackin said:

You think lonely Island got the idea for dick in a box from that?

It predates even that

rumor has it that one cave drawing illustrates this same technique being pulled off

Posted
6 hours ago, Distortedreasoning said:

what happened? are you married? 

 

you blew your 1 in a million real life porn scenario chance :(  

He is married and it was probably a trap. 

She was probably a tentacle monster. 

Posted

Cracky at the appointment: "This couldn't happen to me 20 30 40 50 years ago when I was single, it had to happen now."

I don't know how easily you could put yourself back in single-you mindset, but if you were single, do you think you would've tried to hit that?

Posted
4 hours ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said:

Cracky at the appointment: "This couldn't happen to me 20 30 40 50 years ago when I was single, it had to happen now."

I don't know how easily you could put yourself back in single-you mindset, but if you were single, do you think you would've tried to hit that?

I wouldn't but as I've said before, this type of thing never happens unless there is a motive or agenda. Even if there isn't, I'm not the guy who's going to give anyone that kind of attention. I prefer the extremely hard to get ladies. 

Posted
3 minutes ago, little_girl_lost said:

i need a new faucet put on my sink and my bathtub leaks

 

i'll be naked for cheap plumbing services

(seriously, all the plumbers in my area are terrible, the last one I had to pay $100 just to lie to me)

Hey baby... I'll lie to you for half that.

  • Haha 1
Posted
1 hour ago, little_girl_lost said:

i need a new faucet put on my sink and my bathtub leaks

 

i'll be naked for cheap plumbing services

(seriously, all the plumbers in my area are terrible, the last one I had to pay $100 just to lie to me)

I'll pay you to stay dressed.

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