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Why do some people spend so much on weddings?

Swimmod_Luna

By Swimmod_Luna
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Swimmod_Luna Centurion

Swimmod_Luna

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I'm finally getting around to ordering some of the small shit I probably should have taken care of already. Shit you don't even really think about like the guest book, ring bearer pillow, flower girl basket...For the most part I just went with the cheapest shit on the site since literally no one is going to remember or even care in the first place what any of this shit looks like. Like, the "top recommended" guestbooks are $20 something each and most don't even include a pen that's another $20 to get the matching pen to go with it. Why the fuck would I ever get any of those when there's a $7 option with the pen included?

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Swimmod_Luna Centurion

Swimmod_Luna

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1 minute ago, Naraku4656 said:

idk i'd just get everything al walmart or whatever. i know people who spend tens of thousands on weddings and get divorced within a few years and people who have spent almost nothing and have been married for a long time

I probably spent about what I would at Wal-Mart anyway and didn't have to wander around and get distracted by other shit I don't need trying to find what I do need. I got 5 things I needed for around $100, only thing I need now is a cake topper which I actually do want to spend a little more time/money on since that can be a memento and the cake will be the focal point of more pictures vs the fucking ring bearer pillow like seriously

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Naraku4656 Monster Mutant

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2 minutes ago, Athena 92 said:

I probably spent about what I would at Wal-Mart anyway and didn't have to wander around and get distracted by other shit I don't need trying to find what I do need. I got 5 things I needed for around $100, only thing I need now is a cake topper which I actually do want to spend a little more time/money on since that can be a memento and the cake will be the focal point of more pictures vs the fucking ring bearer pillow like seriously

yeah a cake topper i get spending money on. flowers and chairs and stuff like that who cares.

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Swimmod_Luna Centurion

Swimmod_Luna

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Just now, Naraku4656 said:

yeah a cake topper i get spending money on. flowers and chairs and stuff like that who cares.

I let my coordinator take care of the flowers (not her personally but she chose the place that's doing it) so I'm probably spending more than I would have chosen to myself but hopefully she found me a good deal for what I'm getting that will make for good pictures. Chairs are included at both the ceremony and reception venues.

I think the only thing that I could have got cheaper at Wal-Mart vs the site I just used was a card box since the cheapest ones they had on the site were a "rustic" theme which wouldn't really fit with anything else also I don't like. There was a pretty big jump in price from the rustic ones to a more neutral looking one. But getting it from this site let me qualify for a bigger discount anyway since I spent the exact amount needed to get 15% off vs 10.

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Naraku4656 Monster Mutant

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8 minutes ago, Athena 92 said:

I let my coordinator take care of the flowers (not her personally but she chose the place that's doing it) so I'm probably spending more than I would have chosen to myself but hopefully she found me a good deal for what I'm getting that will make for good pictures. Chairs are included at both the ceremony and reception venues.

I think the only thing that I could have got cheaper at Wal-Mart vs the site I just used was a card box since the cheapest ones they had on the site were a "rustic" theme which wouldn't really fit with anything else also I don't like. There was a pretty big jump in price from the rustic ones to a more neutral looking one. But getting it from this site let me qualify for a bigger discount anyway since I spent the exact amount needed to get 15% off vs 10.

that's good at least. that stuff is too expensive for my blood, not that i really have to worry about it tho

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avec Legend

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I don't really get it tbh.  It's like do we all absolutely really need things like a guestbook?  When will you look at that?!

When I was engaged in an alternate universe, I just wanted people to come to a house on a beach and after we get married, I jump into the ocean and say "see y'all later!".  Like there will be food, drinks, and the ocean.  No extra table toppers and all the jazz. 

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lupin_bebop Super Hero

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1 hour ago, Athena 92 said:

I'm finally getting around to ordering some of the small shit I probably should have taken care of already. Shit you don't even really think about like the guest book, ring bearer pillow, flower girl basket...For the most part I just went with the cheapest shit on the site since literally no one is going to remember or even care in the first place what any of this shit looks like. Like, the "top recommended" guestbooks are $20 something each and most don't even include a pen that's another $20 to get the matching pen to go with it. Why the fuck would I ever get any of those when there's a $7 option with the pen included?

To answer the question at the end of this: Get the cheaper option, it's just as good.

To answer the thread question: Because you are told to spend on it. Everything about weddings is jacked up to the maximum to take advantage of you. Trust me on this one. I'm a wedding DJ. The normal price I would charge for DJ services is literally jacked up about 500% or more for weddings. Why? It's called the "Wedding Tax". As your wedding DJ, there is a LOT I have to do, and you are paying for my time. If this wasn't a wedding, you'd spend a fraction of what you'd spend, and get the exact same quality. You're mostly paying for my time (and Asshole Fees, because you people are crazy about weddings). If I know you, I'll charge you normal DJ rates, because I know weddings are an expensive in endeavor. To give you an example, I normally charge about $100/hour for restaurants and most parties for DJing, and a 3 hour minimum. Of course, I'm willing to negotiate (within reason) to fit budget. For weddings, I charge about $700/hour, with a 3 hour minimum. I won't even take your phone call if you're not willing to spent at least $1000. Mostly because I want it to be worth my time. Especially with the trends going on in weddings now (which completely screw most DJs), because it makes it hard for us to power equipment. I also rely on these to pay my bills, so, that is another reason on weddings.

Giving you a better idea:

 

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Swimmod_Luna Centurion

Swimmod_Luna

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7 hours ago, lupin_bebop said:

To answer the question at the end of this: Get the cheaper option, it's just as good.

To answer the thread question: Because you are told to spend on it. Everything about weddings is jacked up to the maximum to take advantage of you. Trust me on this one. I'm a wedding DJ. The normal price I would charge for DJ services is literally jacked up about 500% or more for weddings. Why? It's called the "Wedding Tax". As your wedding DJ, there is a LOT I have to do, and you are paying for my time. If this wasn't a wedding, you'd spend a fraction of what you'd spend, and get the exact same quality. You're mostly paying for my time (and Asshole Fees, because you people are crazy about weddings). If I know you, I'll charge you normal DJ rates, because I know weddings are an expensive in endeavor. To give you an example, I normally charge about $100/hour for restaurants and most parties for DJing, and a 3 hour minimum. Of course, I'm willing to negotiate (within reason) to fit budget. For weddings, I charge about $700/hour, with a 3 hour minimum. I won't even take your phone call if you're not willing to spent at least $1000. Mostly because I want it to be worth my time. Especially with the trends going on in weddings now (which completely screw most DJs), because it makes it hard for us to power equipment. I also rely on these to pay my bills, so, that is another reason on weddings.

Giving you a better idea:

 

Oh trust me I know. I almost went with a slightly more expensive $10 guestbook until I saw the pen was separate and another $10 (despite it being included in the picture). So the $7 guestbook with pen included it was.

My DJ and photographer are a husband and wife team so I got a package deal with them. I'm paying about 3k for 6 hours of DJ and all day photography plus coffee table book and full online access to my pictures

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Swimmod_Luna Centurion

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5 minutes ago, Seight said:

It's to show off like "OH LOOK HOW GREAT MY WEDDING WAS!" And I'm of the mindset of "...You could just go to the courthouse and get a marriage license if you wanted to, right?"

But even then. Does anyone go to a wedding and be like, "Wow! What a nice guestbook! And the pen that goes with it is so pretty!"

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crackymckrackin Luminary

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10 hours ago, Athena 92 said:

I'm finally getting around to ordering some of the small shit I probably should have taken care of already. Shit you don't even really think about like the guest book, ring bearer pillow, flower girl basket...For the most part I just went with the cheapest shit on the site since literally no one is going to remember or even care in the first place what any of this shit looks like. Like, the "top recommended" guestbooks are $20 something each and most don't even include a pen that's another $20 to get the matching pen to go with it. Why the fuck would I ever get any of those when there's a $7 option with the pen included?

Get a death note. Guest dying all over your wedding might be bad though.

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wacky1980 Freakin Mutant

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i think we spent around $5000 on our wedding, but half of that was just the dinner and drink tab. i thought we did pretty good. the engagement ring isn't included in that total either, but the wedding rings are.

i'd have been fine treating some close friends and immediate family to dinner and a night out after doing the courthouse thing, but coming from a big catholic family and having to meet obligations to said family like any of it matters... and we never sent out thank-you cards because i thanked everyone personally at the reception. people got mad about not getting a thank-you card for some reason. ehh, whatever.

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crackymckrackin Luminary

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1 minute ago, wacky1980 said:

i think we spent around $5000 on our wedding, but half of that was just the dinner and drink tab. i thought we did pretty good. the engagement ring isn't included in that total either, but the wedding rings are.

i'd have been fine treating some close friends and immediate family to dinner and a night out after doing the courthouse thing, but coming from a big catholic family and having to meet obligations to said family like any of it matters... and we never sent out thank-you cards because i thanked everyone personally at the reception. people got mad about not getting a thank-you card for some reason. ehh, whatever.

My wedding minus rings cost 200 dollars. It was a church wedding. Most of the actual wedding crap my wife purchased was from hobby lobby. That was 23 years ago so in current money I would assume a person could do it for 500? If I remember correctly, the party sub for rehearsal was more than most of the decorations. 

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wacky1980 Freakin Mutant

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Just now, crackymckrackin said:

My wedding minus rings cost 200 dollars. It was a church wedding. Most of the actual wedding crap my wife purchased was from hobby lobby. That was 23 years ago so in current money I would assume a person could do it for 500? If I remember correctly, the party sub for rehearsal was more than most of the decorations. 

we got married in 2011. had to book a catholic church and a hall big enough for 200 people. wife isn't catholic, so we also had to run through the whole pre-cana bullshit beforehand. her wedding ring was like $1000 on top of the engagement ring i had already paid off. my wedding ring was maybe $200ish. made most of the decorations on our own. bought blank invitations and printed them ourselves. tossed up a website for rsvp because it was cheaper than the return postage. had a friend offer to make our cake as her gift. cut corners everywhere we could. and about 3 months before the wedding, our basement flooded and ruined some of the wedding stuff. good thing the insurance check was big enough to fix everything that took damage, with a few thousand left over to put towards the wedding.

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crackymckrackin Luminary

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20 minutes ago, wacky1980 said:

we got married in 2011. had to book a catholic church and a hall big enough for 200 people. wife isn't catholic, so we also had to run through the whole pre-cana bullshit beforehand. her wedding ring was like $1000 on top of the engagement ring i had already paid off. my wedding ring was maybe $200ish. made most of the decorations on our own. bought blank invitations and printed them ourselves. tossed up a website for rsvp because it was cheaper than the return postage. had a friend offer to make our cake as her gift. cut corners everywhere we could. and about 3 months before the wedding, our basement flooded and ruined some of the wedding stuff. good thing the insurance check was big enough to fix everything that took damage, with a few thousand left over to put towards the wedding.

Pretty much the same for us. We got to use the church for free. (We aren't catholic) The preacher did pull us aside before the wedding to ask us questions but it took less than ten minutes. I've never been to a catholic wedding but I hear they are ridiculous long. There aren't many Catholics here. I can't remember exactly how much we spent on rings. Mine was around 60 I think. I never wear rings because I like my fingers to stay attached to my hands. I own 4 wedding rings and never wear any of them.

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wacky1980 Freakin Mutant

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2 minutes ago, crackymckrackin said:

Pretty much the same for us. We got to use the church for free. (We aren't catholic) The preacher did pull us aside before the wedding to ask us questions but it took less than ten minutes. I've never been to a catholic wedding but I hear they are ridiculous long. There aren't many Catholics here. I can't remember exactly how much we spent on rings. Mine was around 60 I think. I never wear rings because I like my fingers to stay attached to my hands. I own 4 wedding rings and never wear any of them.

i don't usually have to do much work where a ring is a hazard, but i do keep a couple of those junk silicone ones for the random occasion or when i'm doing a backwoods trip or something. i kinda hate my ring, but i don't want to tell the wife because she might take offense. it's just giant and thick and annoying. 

catholic weddings are indeed long, boring, and full of junk traditions that i cannot wait to see get retired. for instance: i get the symbolic nature of the unity candle, but it's such a hollow thing. you each light a candle, then use your two candles to light a third candle together. poof, married. then you blow out the candle?!? what kind of symbolic gesture is that! and the readings and the sermon (homily, whatever) and all the standing and kneeling and sitting. ugh.

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Swimmod_Luna Centurion

Swimmod_Luna

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4 hours ago, wacky1980 said:

i think we spent around $5000 on our wedding, but half of that was just the dinner and drink tab. i thought we did pretty good. the engagement ring isn't included in that total either, but the wedding rings are.

i'd have been fine treating some close friends and immediate family to dinner and a night out after doing the courthouse thing, but coming from a big catholic family and having to meet obligations to said family like any of it matters... and we never sent out thank-you cards because i thanked everyone personally at the reception. people got mad about not getting a thank-you card for some reason. ehh, whatever.

I'm spending a little more on the food and reception venue but I figure that's the fun part that people will actually enjoy and remember so why not. I can justify putting money towards stuff people will actually notice. I can't justify spending more than $10 on a guestbook that half the people there probably won't even notice.

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Swimmod_Luna Centurion

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3 hours ago, crackymckrackin said:

Pretty much the same for us. We got to use the church for free. (We aren't catholic) The preacher did pull us aside before the wedding to ask us questions but it took less than ten minutes. I've never been to a catholic wedding but I hear they are ridiculous long. There aren't many Catholics here. I can't remember exactly how much we spent on rings. Mine was around 60 I think. I never wear rings because I like my fingers to stay attached to my hands. I own 4 wedding rings and never wear any of them.

We went to a Catholic wedding about a year and a half ago. It was like an hour and a half. Our ceremony will be like, 20 minutes at most probably and I think we're only paying the officiant for up to half an hour.

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crackymckrackin Luminary

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2 hours ago, Athena 92 said:

We went to a Catholic wedding about a year and a half ago. It was like an hour and a half. Our ceremony will be like, 20 minutes at most probably and I think we're only paying the officiant for up to half an hour.

To me that's still kind of long. I think ours was around 10 minutes even including her dad being dragged along behind her to give her away.

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Top Gun Centurion

Top Gun

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I mean your average Catholic Mass is around 45 minutes to an hour, so if you do the formal wedding Mass, it's not really stupid-long in comparison. You can do a non-Mass wedding, which from what I remember from being an altar server is pretty much the readings followed by the actual ceremony, but those don't tend to be nearly as common, at least not in my experience. Pretty much all the weddings I've been to were Catholic, so I'm used to the big reception. It's just...what people do I guess. *shrug*

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