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UnevenEdge

Doom Metal Alchemist

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Everything posted by Doom Metal Alchemist

  1. Doom Metal Alchemist
    Well, you've already ranted here about how your callers that don't have their policy numbers ready are idiots.
  2. Doom Metal Alchemist
    Doctor: "Ok midnight, you're overweight, tell me about your diet." Midnight: "Well, I love to cook home-made hamburgers." Doctor: "Well there's your problem. Home-made hamburgers are the unhealthiest hamburgers you can have. Get McDonald's instead. That's a much healthier choice."
  3. Doom Metal Alchemist
    I used to have those dreams all the time.
  4. Doom Metal Alchemist
    Goddamn it, as I was reading the thread just now, I wanted to make a "he can literally swing his dick around" joke, but you ruined it.
  5. Doom Metal Alchemist
    ROFL. Despite video games, starting with the NES, being my whole world until the age of 13 (and still a significant part of my world until, I don't know, age 19 maybe?), I have always sucked at video games. I've never even beaten the original Super Mario Bros. Even when I revisited it as an adult. Even on Super Mario All-Stars where I can have a save point to world 8-1.
  6. Doom Metal Alchemist
    I assumed this was about Ocarina of Time. I was like, "beat him at what? Do you compete with him about something?" EDIT: And now I just saw that other thread. D'oh!
  7. Doom Metal Alchemist
    I call bullshit. That would mean you left the basement.
  8. Doom Metal Alchemist
    You hang out with a lot of dudes way older than you?
  9. Doom Metal Alchemist
  10. Doom Metal Alchemist
    Happy birthday guys! @That_One_Guy here's your cake: (that's from funnyjunk so it may not display, oh well) Kateyes, sorry I don't know enough about you to know what kind of cake would be fitting for you.
  11. Doom Metal Alchemist
    They are, but that's just dubious marketing tactics.
  12. Doom Metal Alchemist
    Is money all that matters?
  13. Doom Metal Alchemist
    This part of the poll made me smile: It always seems like I'm the only perpetually single person who doesn't mind Valentine's Day.
  14. Doom Metal Alchemist
    lol dude has a prison record, eh, who cares, dude has no car, KICK HIM TO THE CURB.
  15. Doom Metal Alchemist
    Why? I thought you of all people would be wrapping it up in LATEX condoms anyway...
  16. Doom Metal Alchemist
    I'm so glad I had work last night.
  17. Doom Metal Alchemist
    Why?
  18. Doom Metal Alchemist
    That stopped helping me when I was still a teenager.
  19. Doom Metal Alchemist
    Either getting through his door is an ordeal, or he got a wide ass bedroom door custom made.
  20. Doom Metal Alchemist
    I got up early (for me) but I was busy all day.
  21. Doom Metal Alchemist
    Or you can name him Cy. And say "Cy clops."
  22. Doom Metal Alchemist
    Dream Theater. Fanboys completely ruined them for me like 15 years ago.
  23. Doom Metal Alchemist
  24. Doom Metal Alchemist
    Nah man, that's the smart person's way out. The coward's way out would be a toupeé.
  25. Doom Metal Alchemist
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