Doom Metal Alchemist

Ok, this may be getting a little personal... BUT since you brought up your tits, and you brought up losing weight... Did you lose any in the chest? I need to know for... reasons.

Well it would turn heads at least. You'd probably get a lot of people snapping pics of you.

Her tits look bigger in some of those pics than in others. >_>

Better than drinking. Note that I do neither. This is just from observing friends who act like idiots / dicks when drunk, and no discernible difference that I can see when they smoke weed.

Sounds like they bought food for themselves with the bonus of you getting it for them.

I don't know. I think the best way to find out is to try to get on My 600 LB life, and see what happens.

I thought you wanted a sugar daddy, not to be a sugar daddy mama.

How is she doing that in that first gif? Or is that just playing in reverse?

HEY, THAT'S MY JOKE! I'LL KILL YOU! /zoidberg ***note: That is not a real threat, as implied, I was quoting Zoidberg from an episode of Futurama. ANYWAY... I actually never made that joke about fuggs or anyone specifically, but one of the jokes I am most proud of coming up with is "Yo mama so fat, astronomers have classified her ass as a supermassive black hole."

Generally I'll wish them a happy birthday if I know / knew them irl. Also I'm facebook friends with a couple of my favorite musicians, and I'll wish them a happy birthday because of my fanboyism. People I only know / know of from facebook, I pass on that.

Yeah, but there's a variety of birth control methods out there...

What is a cock P?

Dude that scene is awesome, especially if you're still a kid when seeing it for the first time.

Having a job where I'm constantly walking for like the whole 10 hour shift has worked wonders for me.

KFC, Burger King, Wendy's.

7 I guess. When I get fast food burgers, I ALWAYS ask they leave off the mustard / pickles / tomatoes, but if they fuck up my order and leave one or more of those on, I'll generally eat it, so I'm not counting them.

I am enjoying not being reminded of his existence, thank you.

That's a great image on its own merit, but the bonus is you used Calvin without it being him pissing on something.

She must've watched someone play the last boss in Zelda II and now she thinks people's shadows are trying to kill them.

I graduated college in 2007.

At least you didn't wipe your ass with it while camping, amirite?

When I was a kid and picked my nose 24/7 I got a ton of nosebleeds. Since I limited to picking my nose no more than one time a day, I've had maybe, like two bloody noses after all those decades.

Didn't Stormy Daniels say it looked like "the mushroom guy from Mario Kart"?

Now that Sponges has responded, I am ashamed I forgot he is totally Hunter Pence's doppleganger.

@Clu would be Bryce Harper.