Doom Metal Alchemist

I cannot possibly imagine Weird Al doing the Super Bowl half time show. The whole point is to be as flashy as you can be, and that just doesn't seem like Weird Al at all. Though to be fair, I have never seen a Weird Al gig, not live, and not on video, so what do I know?

I always looked at it as you're getting a sample of their product line.

I guess in the height of the summer heat, if you feel your electric bill is getting too high, you can use that instead? *shrug*

For someone who gets as little sleep as you do, how do you NOT drink coffee?

STFU, Denis Leary. I don't mind the so-called "caffeinated milk shakes" but I get enough sugar already. The whole reason I started drinking coffee in the first place was to cut down on sugar (prior I was getting all my caffeine from soda).

When I was younger that worked for me every time but in more recent years it stopped working.

It has never occurred to me to put anything in coffee aside from milk, cream, or sugar.

The bus driver I had when I was in elementary school certainly wasn't old enough for retirement... and one of my high school teachers drove a school bus BEFORE he became a teacher...

I drink coffee before I go to work. Then when I get to work, I go pee right before work starts. A couple years ago when I was a newspaper carrier, I had to stop drinking coffee in the morning, because I had no easy access to bathrooms and it was always a tense race between finding the 24 hour McDonald's and pissing my pants.

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess either vacuum cleaners or knives.

Do you feel you'd rather do more pro-shoots (porn) or get a "regular" job? Because doing a lot of pro-shoots would probably help, as long as you're not getting bored with the profession entirely.

Depending on what day and time it is, AS, CN, Comedy Central, or TBS.

I have no idea... With the exception of like, Kaepernick, my football knowledge ends with the 90s. I'm pretty sure the commercial in question was for those giant Fathead wall decals.

One of the best vegetables ever. One of my most hated bands ever.

I saw commercial some years ago featuring a football player whose teeth looked completely rotten. I surmised they were probably gold. Not a good look at all. When I was a teenager I wanted a tattoo of the Metallica logo. Don't care much about Metallica these days.

Zeni's persona is probably the only one here that if were real, would land him in prison.

Did you choke on some? I once choked on an Alexander the Grape and my mom slapped my back to force the swallow.

Probably because zeni has posted shit like this OVER 9000 times.

I had this exact thought while in line at the pharmacy yesterday looking at the giftcards for sale, seeing some for Gamestop.

He gets to watch Toonami on Saturdays.

It was sunny and warm here. I was wearing shorts all day, even when sitting outside with friends at 11:00 PM.

This. On work days, it usually takes me a few hours to get going. When I get up I drink coffee and take a multivitamin. But by the time work starts, I'm still usually tired. Then at first break I'll get a granola bar and a Mountain Dew, and that's generally when I start waking up.

I'm betting the porn was the catalyst behind the divorce, too.

Happy belated! Yeah, I'm just gonna pretend writers still use typewriters.

Still good, but plenty no more, amirite?