Mix

How the heck am I supposed to do that? That thing has a mind of it's own, I can't keep track of it..... I drink protein shakes regularly! Do you have any idea! I can't leave the house without a back up pair of underwear.........inside a back up pair of pants

The red tint is apropos......get thee away from me foul fiend I trusted you and you betrayed me.... never again

I wasn't even thinking people....I didn't even think this was real....I thought you were going to say mermaids or some such stupid thing.... You've ruined dolphins for me......It was my life long dream to swim with the dolphins....LIFE LONG! 😭 Omg, they're my spirit animal 😱 My spirits a rapist 😡

First, if they're not assholes to us, we don't really care.....everyone has that one friend who they explain away by saying, "well he's/she's nice to me" Second, humans do both those things in far greater numbers, so i'm not going to judge.... Quick question, and this may be stupid........what exactly do they rape? Idk why, but I feel like you're not going to say other dolphins

I hate the holidays...people are always saying shit like this, meanwhile terrible shit happens to me this time of year This afternoon I saw what I thought were strippers going into what I thought was a strip club.......nope, yoga studio Guy was like, "Namaste " I was like, "Nah-im-a-go " I tell you these yoga outfits are getting ridiculous

but those are the only things that save us in the wild....like I haven't heard a story of any other creature just randomly saving a person Idk, seems like as long as you don't throw them in water tanks they're pretty chill about us fucking up their ocean and that whole fishing net thing

In the movie, a member of my heist team is an explosives expert.....so you bet we'll be using "heated plastics"

Flavor of Love.....all three seasons

ok, but warn me first so I can breast myself

Hey, you show some god damn respect....Mayhem Miller can fuck who or what he wants....man's a legend.................also, he's clinically insane

that show was so fake, but he held it together somehow....I watched for him basically

ah.....well done

lmao, where's your pole?

those were the days

Timberlands are a shoe brand....you know that.....right?......it's important to me that you know that

fuck these trees....I hate the holidays where's this war on christmas people keep talking about?

You're misreading a lot today....Buddy didn't say anything about a car.....he will literally teleport over there

I wear timberlands.....I have a pair just for that sole purpose

I just cut out a thick plastic lid in the shape of the key my treatment had it all....spies, ninjas, former secretary of state Madeleine Albright....it was magnificent

no no, don't try to make me feel better about this....i'm a god DAMN IDIOT! A buffoon....a nincompoop.....you know I wrote a treatment for a movie about this....I was going to sell my story to Hollywood.....I titled it Inception, but then a friend o' mine says that's already a heist movie and a pretty popular one at that.....can you believe it? You ever heard o' this flick? Is it about toilet paper? God damn idea thieving Hollywood crooks with their spies and ninjas

and again we differ.....i'm a sleep under my desk kind of person

ok, well maybe I overthought this then....I thought I was a genius molding that damn key I was telling my roommates about my great heist and everything

You're a smash and grab liquor store hold up artist and i'm Danny Ocean....that's my take away from this

There's a key to open those things....how did you do it? I made one....the original was plastic....I don't know who they thought couldn't reproduce that