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Sober sex is terrible

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Drunk sex is like going to a theme park when you're a kid, you wanna ride everything and you don't mind that people are taking pictures of you.

Sober sex is going to a theme park as an adult, begrudgingly....and not just 'cause you have to pay.

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I've heard you just have to find a prostitute that likes having sex or something 

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17 minutes ago, Vamped said:

I've heard you just have to find a prostitute that likes having sex or something 

They have all told me they like to get dicked down, I just figured it was a marketing strategy…

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16 minutes ago, Sawdamizer said:

They have all told me they like to get dicked down, I just figured it was a marketing strategy…

Were they Asian and thought you were the smartest person in the world?

I dunno man ... I have extremely limited experience in this arena 

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6 minutes ago, Vamped said:

Were they Asian and thought you were the smartest person in the world?

I dunno man ... I have extremely limited experience in this arena 

Oh! You were there clearly!

kidding aside… Musket is the SME “here”

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I made the mistake of thinking about the times I had drunk sex with a sober (or at least much more sober than me) person and I really should apologize to these women.

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7 minutes ago, André Toulon said:

I made the mistake of thinking about the times I had drunk sex with a sober (or at least much more sober than me) person and I really should apologize to these women.

I would never eat that shit like groceries if I was sober… but, here we are… and I like to think when we casually say hi over time… they know… all that happened… and I high five their husbands

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Sex is fine and all, but have you ever just sat down and read the bible?

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6 hours ago, DBAss said:

Sex is fine and all, but have you ever just sat down and read the bible?

Yes....it's the worst kind of science fiction...the kind with no science

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1 hour ago, André Toulon said:

Yes....it's the worst kind of science fiction...the kind with no science

You seem like the type that thinks if they throw around the word "science" enough people will think that you're highly intelligent.

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8 hours ago, DBAss said:

Sex is fine and all, but have you ever just sat down and read the bible?

 Reading the bible is fine and all but have you fapped to muscular white Jesus?

 

Spoiler

I haven't

 

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9 hours ago, DBAss said:

Sex is fine and all, but have you ever just sat down and read the bible?

Which one? 

My free time is an orgy of reading.

See the source image

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2 hours ago, DBAss said:

You seem like the type that thinks if they throw around the word "science" enough people will think that you're highly intelligent.

You mean once?

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7 minutes ago, André Toulon said:

You mean once?

 

4 hours ago, André Toulon said:

Yes....it's the worst kind of science fiction...the kind with no science

 

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2 hours ago, Vamped said:

 Reading the bible is fine and all but have you fapped to muscular white Jesus?

 

  Hide contents

I haven't

 

There's only one Jesus

5c240a8301c0ea1c1a11c502?width=750&forma

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52 minutes ago, Nablonsky said:

 

 

Did you use your fingers?

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1 hour ago, DBAss said:

There's only one Jesus

5c240a8301c0ea1c1a11c502?width=750&forma

False. There's a multiverse of Jesus. Even alternative white ones 

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, scoobdog said:

Did you use your fingers?

It's sad the scraps he's been forced to nibble on to sustain himself....if only he ate meat, he wouldn't have to drill for protein from my sack.

Edited by André Toulon
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43 minutes ago, Vamped said:

False. There's a multiverse of Jesus. Even alternative white ones 

See the source image

For even more IQ draining stupidity, google 'chuck norris jesus' . 

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2 hours ago, katt_goddess said:

See the source image

For even more IQ draining stupidity, google 'chuck norris jesus' . 

What is dumber than that is Jesus' brother caused the deaths of 20-30 million Chinese people.

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Is it, or do you just suck at it and need alcohol to pretend?

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As much as I like not being sober, drunk sex is a 50/50 situation on whether I can get excited for it or not. High sex is pretty great though. 

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On 5/8/2022 at 2:18 PM, Lasty said:

Is it, or do you just suck at it and need alcohol to pretend?

 

 

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