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Post sentences here and ill read them as kermit

That_One_Guy

By That_One_Guy
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GuyBeardmane Star

GuyBeardmane

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Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you."

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Mix Monster Mutant

Mix

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That geico gig should have been mine, but they didn't want to pay me. Next thing you know, they got some foreigner doing my job for half the pay. Thanks Obama. 

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GuyBeardmane Star

GuyBeardmane

Posted
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Random story.  I was driving once, I think it was either on a drive across state or a long commute home, but I just started singing "Hallelujah" as Kermit and the rest of the Muppets.  Kermit starting with "I heard there was a secret chord that David played and it pleased the Lord, but you don't really care for music do ya" and then a little "no you don't!"  Followed up by Rowlf with "It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth" and Fozzie comes in with "The minor fall and the major lift" and then Gonzo with the chickens as back-up "the baffled king composing hallelujah."  Animal wraps up with the chorus "HALLELUJAH HALLELUJAH HALLELUJAH HA HA HA"

I started laughing so hard I was crying.  I think weird things when I'm driving.

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Poof Monster Mutant

Poof

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Switching it up! Mix solution well. Plunging before the strike is always inferior and lateral speed through your arm! Country mouse or mice when we leave! Popular powerful content management system built on friendship.

nameraka Monster Mutant

nameraka

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, GuyBeardmane said:

Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you."

you have no idea how disappointed I was when I found out it didn't really say that.

nameraka Monster Mutant

nameraka

Posted
Posted (edited)

Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio. A fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. He hath borne me on his back a thousand times. And now how abhorred in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it. Here hung those lips that I have kiss'd I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now? your gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one now, to mock your own grinning? Quite chap- fall'n? Now get you to my lady's chamber, and tell her, let her paint an inch thick, to this favour she must come. Make her laugh at that. 

Edited by nameraka
nameraka Monster Mutant

nameraka

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Posted (edited)

that last one was more than a sentence. sorry.

how about this one?

I always said, if I had to fuck a guy... I mean had to, if my life depended on it... I'd fuck Elvis.

Edited by nameraka
discolé monade Monster Mutant

discolé monade

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21 hours ago, GuyBeardmane said:

 

I started laughing so hard I was crying.  I think weird things when I'm driving.

don't we all?

i find myself thinking an awful lot about point systems, and 7 letter words. 

scoobdog Monster Mutant

scoobdog

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Am I the only one impressed with T_O_G's podcast voice?  It's only a split second before he breaks into the excellent Kermit impression, but it's an impressive split second.

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bnmjy Monster Mutant

bnmjy

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5 minutes ago, That_One_Guy said:

Yall are sweet. This was fun. I wanna do more

"Why do my fingers smell like bacon? Oh right, Miss Piggy . . . *licking noise* Mmm, tastes just like a finely aged prosciutto."

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Seight Monster Mutant

Seight

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Posted
10 hours ago, That_One_Guy said:

Yall are sweet. This was fun. I wanna do more

"the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: "theres actually zero difference between good & bad things. you imbecile. you fucking moron"

scoobdog Monster Mutant

scoobdog

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, That_One_Guy said:

He wont come to any of my shows yet he'll worship the fucking hooha. The fuck?

The hoohah ain't even that funny.

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bnmjy Monster Mutant

bnmjy

Posted
Posted (edited)
4 hours ago, That_One_Guy said:

This one will bother you ha

Http://www.sndup.net/t274

I have another scenario in my head . . . much worse, if you're up for the challenge.

Edit: never mind. I think it's way too obscene

Edited by bnmjy
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That_One_Guy Paragon

That_One_Guy

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26 minutes ago, bnmjy said:

I have another scenario in my head . . . much worse, if you're up for the challenge.

Edit: never mind. I think it's way too obscene

Fuck that do it

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Seight Monster Mutant

Seight

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, bnmjy said:

I have another scenario in my head . . . much worse, if you're up for the challenge.

Edit: never mind. I think it's way too obscene

okay well now you have to tho

bnmjy Monster Mutant

bnmjy

Posted
Posted
56 minutes ago, That_One_Guy said:

Fuck that do it

Well, ok. I warned you.

"Miss Piggy wanted to get really kinky the one night. I was licking inside her delicious prosciutto folds as usual, but this time she told me to go deeper. I'm pretty sure I licked her cervix before. But then it hit me . . . she wanted me to go inside.

Now I do have a long froggy tongue, if I do say so myself. I entered her cervix and she just froze in space, dead-eyed, in complete shock. I wasn't sure if she liked it or not. My tongue stayed at her cervical entrance for a good minute, and she stayed frozen. I decided to hell with it, and started going in deeper.

Miss Piggy started bobbing her head back in forth, slowly at first. As my tongue slithered deeper into her fallopian tube, the bobbing hastened. And when my tongue reached her ovary, she froze again. Instead of waiting for another awkward minute, I started licking.

Miss Piggy started screaming and oinking in an ecstatic frenzy. I had never seen anything like it before. It didn't take long before she climaxed. She immediately fell asleep, snoring loudly.

Anyway, she wants to do it again."

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That_One_Guy Paragon

That_One_Guy

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9 hours ago, bnmjy said:

Well, ok. I warned you.

"Miss Piggy wanted to get really kinky the one night. I was licking inside her delicious prosciutto folds as usual, but this time she told me to go deeper. I'm pretty sure I licked her cervix before. But then it hit me . . . she wanted me to go inside.

Now I do have a long froggy tongue, if I do say so myself. I entered her cervix and she just froze in space, dead-eyed, in complete shock. I wasn't sure if she liked it or not. My tongue stayed at her cervical entrance for a good minute, and she stayed frozen. I decided to hell with it, and started going in deeper.

Miss Piggy started bobbing her head back in forth, slowly at first. As my tongue slithered deeper into her fallopian tube, the bobbing hastened. And when my tongue reached her ovary, she froze again. Instead of waiting for another awkward minute, I started licking.

Miss Piggy started screaming and oinking in an ecstatic frenzy. I had never seen anything like it before. It didn't take long before she climaxed. She immediately fell asleep, snoring loudly.

Anyway, she wants to do it again."

Expect this like you expect jesus mf

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That_One_Guy Paragon

That_One_Guy

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35 minutes ago, UnDeRwOrlDpRiNcEsS said:

Kermit just said UwP is the bestest person in the universe. This must be true. I need to clip this and make it a fucking text tone now.

He did. I heard him

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SwimOdin Legend

SwimOdin

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Posted

Is the destiny of mankind ruled by some transcendental entity or law?  Is it like the hand of god hovering above?  At least it is true that man has no control, even over his own will.

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