I think I have a girl crush on my hormone doctor

[Real_AirCooledGirl]

5 hours ago, scoobdog said:

I don't think you need to wonder about that.  Anyway you look at it, you're putting her career in serious jeopardy by attempting to pursue a relationship.  No matter the feelings that may or may not be there, the only way being with her can possibly end is in acrimony at best or tragedy at worst.  And, I'm only saying that from a completely objective standpoint, not because I have a vested interest in you not finding love:  the situation you're both in now is not conducive to planting the seed (figuratively) of a healthy, sustainable relationship because the cost versus reward for being in that relationship is not equal to both of you - you stand to benefit more than you would lose compared to her standing to lose more than she might benefit - in part because there are plenty of other women (or men, since we don't know what her orientation is) who won't ask her to either violate her oath as a medical practitioner to be in that relationship or cause her to give up her role as care giver.

I get the ethical implications of this. I do. I'm the granddaughter of a doctor myself. But goddamn it, I still can't get her out of my head. Maybe it might be a mommy/little girl thing. Maybe it's my attraction to intelligent women kicking in. Maybe it's something else. That I don't fully know.

[bnmjy]

1 hour ago, Real_AirCooledGirl said:

I get the ethical implications of this. I do. I'm the granddaughter of a doctor myself. But goddamn it, I still can't get her out of my head. Maybe it might be a mommy/little girl thing. Maybe it's my attraction to intelligent women kicking in. Maybe it's something else. That I don't fully know.

Just go for it. Smash that intelligent MD puss puss.

#YOLO

[scoobdog]

2 hours ago, Real_AirCooledGirl said:

I get the ethical implications of this. I do. I'm the granddaughter of a doctor myself. But goddamn it, I still can't get her out of my head. Maybe it might be a mommy/little girl thing. Maybe it's my attraction to intelligent women kicking in. Maybe it's something else. That I don't fully know.

Then you need to channel that crush into a relationship that is more sustainable.  Going for broke, as it were, only works when there is the potential for one outcome, no matter the improbability, being a good one.  In your case, maybe the improbable  outcome is a mentorship or a friendship. Nothing you've suggested so far is ostensibly romantic; they're closer to admiration than attraction.

[Real_AirCooledGirl]

On 7/26/2021 at 11:39 PM, scoobdog said:

Then you need to channel that crush into a relationship that is more sustainable.  Going for broke, as it were, only works when there is the potential for one outcome, no matter the improbability, being a good one.  In your case, maybe the improbable  outcome is a mentorship or a friendship. Nothing you've suggested so far is ostensibly romantic; they're closer to admiration than attraction.

Maybe so, but I keep having romantic fantasies about her. If I go into this, I don't have any expectations.

[scoobdog]

What kind of romantic fantasies?

[Real_AirCooledGirl]

42 minutes ago, scoobdog said:

What kind of romantic fantasies?

At the very least, dinner and making out with her. Maybe smoking a bowl, too. Don't know if she smokes weed, though. Probably not. If she does, I bet a girl like her gets her pick of the bud.

[scoobdog]

It really sounds like your fantasies are about her giving you access to a world you're not a part of.  Obviously, it's not just money:  there are elements of academia, counter culture, and gender identity.  She Is your way into a place where you belong.

[Real_AirCooledGirl]

2 minutes ago, scoobdog said:

It really sounds like your fantasies are about her giving you access to a world you're not a part of.  Obviously, it's not just money:  there are elements of academia, counter culture, and gender identity.  She Is your way into a place where you belong.

I won't lie, I've always found intelligent women very hot. And now that I'm nearly a year into my transition, I've given some thought to dating women as my true self. No longer do I have to wear a guy mask. I sure as hell don't have to wear one for her. Add to that the thrill of breaking a taboo, an interest in tasting some forbidden fruit, and perhaps a bit of a mommy/girl dynamic and it makes her even more desirable. This was all natural and not forced. And after a life of blue-collar work, I wouldn't mind marrying up. Pre-transition, I worked in restaurants save for a stint in a bookstore. Two diners (one a chain; no, it wasn't Denny's) and a bar and grill. I washed dishes, prepped, bussed tables--I did a little bit of everything except serving and managing. In 2017, I was injured in a scooter crash and was on the verge of coming out as trans but thought nobody would believe me because I have Asperger's syndrome on top of it. After collecting a modest settlement for my troubles, I quit my last diner job, then came out to my mom. I also told my primary physician and two nurse practitioners with psych backgrounds. I got a referral to a gender therapist and then a trans-supportive endocrinologist. That endo was supposed to see me last March but COVID delayed it to July. She ordered blood work and prescribed titty skittles. Before moving to another state, she referred me to my current hormone doc. And I've been seeing her ever since.

I never planned on falling for her; it just happened naturally. She already knows I'm trans, pre-op, and a lesbian. I last saw her on my birthday and did some nonverbal flirting with my eyes. Maybe she noticed, maybe she didn't; we were both wearing masks and that can only get you so far. And I find myself lost in those pretty eyes of hers.

[Real_AirCooledGirl]

Did some more flirting with my eyes a couple weeks ago. Once again, we were stuck wearing COVID masks. Had to renew my estradiol script through my insurance because they only do it for a year per round of refills. Now, I play the waiting game. Meanwhile, I see the good doc in January and she wants me to do a full panel of blood work. She'll probably miss me as much as I will between now and then.

While I can see where the ethics nuts are coming from, how am I supposed to go from her to anyone else? It'd feel like going from a 5-star restaurant to, say, McDonald's. Jesus H. Christ, I've got it bad. I like this woman so much it hurts.

[scoobdog]

31 minutes ago, Real_AirCooledGirl said:

While I can see where the ethics nuts are coming from, how am I supposed to go from her to anyone else? 

Easy....

Just remember by going for her you will be quite literally ruining her life, making her hate you with the energy of a thousand suns.

[GunStarHero]

Can I just ask how well you actually know her? Forgive any incredulity I have about this relationship, but it sounds like she's just a doctor you see from time to time and not someone you really know. From what I'm seeing her you seem attracted to the idea of her more than anything. She's pretty and successful so she's instantly appealing but I'm not sure you know her, nor does she know you, regardless of any intimate information you may have shared with her by being a patient.  If I were you I'd leave this be. 

[mthor]

1 hour ago, Real_AirCooledGirl said:

Did some more flirting with my eyes a couple weeks ago. Once again, we were stuck wearing COVID masks. Had to renew my estradiol script through my insurance because they only do it for a year per round of refills. Now, I play the waiting game. Meanwhile, I see the good doc in January and she wants me to do a full panel of blood work. She'll probably miss me as much as I will between now and then.

No. She won't.

The only time that she's going to think about you between now and January is when your labs show up on her desk, and then for only as long as it takes to address them. Sorry. That's the way it works.

You sound like a middle school kid with a crush. Try using your grown up brain - this isn't a Lifetime movie. 

 

[resurrected]

1 minute ago, mthor said:

No. She won't.

The only time that she's going to think about you between now and January is when your labs show up on her desk, and then for only as long as it takes to address them. Sorry. That's the way it works.

You sound like a middle school kid with a crush. Try using your grown up brain - this isn't a Lifetime movie. 

 

Oh shit. mthor dropping some truth bombs up in here.

[Real_AirCooledGirl]

3 minutes ago, GunStarHero said:

Can I just ask how well you actually know her? Forgive any incredulity I have about this relationship, but it sounds like she's just a doctor you see from time to time and not someone you really know. From what I'm seeing her you seem attracted to the idea of her more than anything. She's pretty and successful so she's instantly appealing but I'm not sure you know her, nor does she know you, regardless of any intimate information you may have shared with her by being a patient.  If I were you I'd leave this be. 

Not that well, to be honest.

You and others make good arguments, I'll admit. But part of me wants to pursue something. I'm 35 and haven't dated anybody since long before I started transitioning. And now that I'm a year into living my truth, I'm thinking of getting myself back out there. And how would I go from someone like my hormone doctor to some other woman? That's potentially like going from a 5-star restaurant to McDonald's or Burger King. And I'm sure you and I both know how hard dating can be for a trans lesbian like me.

[bnmjy]

27 minutes ago, Real_AirCooledGirl said:

Not that well, to be honest.

You and others make good arguments, I'll admit. But part of me wants to pursue something. I'm 35 and haven't dated anybody since long before I started transitioning. And now that I'm a year into living my truth, I'm thinking of getting myself back out there. And how would I go from someone like my hormone doctor to some other woman? That's potentially like going from a 5-star restaurant to McDonald's or Burger King. And I'm sure you and I both know how hard dating can be for a trans lesbian like me.

Do you consider yourself to be a 5-star restaurant?

[GunStarHero]

29 minutes ago, Real_AirCooledGirl said:

Not that well, to be honest.

You and others make good arguments, I'll admit. But part of me wants to pursue something. I'm 35 and haven't dated anybody since long before I started transitioning. And now that I'm a year into living my truth, I'm thinking of getting myself back out there. And how would I go from someone like my hormone doctor to some other woman? That's potentially like going from a 5-star restaurant to McDonald's or Burger King. And I'm sure you and I both know how hard dating can be for a trans lesbian like me.

I'm not sure why you're stuck on this comparison of fine dining to fast food but I assure you there are plenty of fine people available to date. 

Dating can suck and I went through the song and dance of gay bars, dating sites, and dating apps. The girl I wound up dating was someone I already sort of knew and we hit it off after just talking over time. 

I'd say leave this doctor be, keep seeing her for medical needs, but go elsewhere for dating. Things have gotten a lot more accessible for trans people when it comes to dating. At the very least dip your toes in the water. 

[Real_AirCooledGirl]

14 minutes ago, GunStarHero said:

I'm not sure why you're stuck on this comparison of fine dining to fast food but I assure you there are plenty of fine people available to date. 

Dating can suck and I went through the song and dance of gay bars, dating sites, and dating apps. The girl I wound up dating was someone I already sort of knew and we hit it off after just talking over time. 

I'd say leave this doctor be, keep seeing her for medical needs, but go elsewhere for dating. Things have gotten a lot more accessible for trans people when it comes to dating. At the very least dip your toes in the water. 

The comparison I made was the best thing I could think of. Alternatively, you could think of going from the prior girls I dated to my hormone doc as going from driving a Ford to driving a Maybach. It's hard to go back.

I've only used one dating site, Zoosk, and even then it was 1) back in my boymode years, 2) a long time ago (late 2000s), and 3) a lot of the women on there didn't seem like my type. There's at least a couple LGBTQ+ spots near me. I might try my luck there at the very least. But I think at least part of me will still have the hots for my doc, damn it. Don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering what could have been. Even if, for argument's sake, something did happen between her and I, I'd imagine we'd keep it a secret. If anyone got wind of us, we could always tell people we're married. If pressed for details, we'd just say we tied the knot at the courthouse; we'd have the excuse of a pandemic to explain not having a proper ceremony with our families and friends in attendance. And we could say we kept our own names intact so it's one less thing to update.

Maybe I'm a little girl looking for a mommy. Maybe I want security and stability in my life, entry into a world I'm not part of but in which I belong. I never quite got that with other girls. Maybe I'm turned on by the thrill of breaking a taboo. But when you're a year into HRT, haven't actively looked for a partner in forever, and fall for someone, you can't help but think they could potentially be The One, regardless of how well you know them. And I have limited experience with the ladies, partly due to Asperger's syndrome (I didn't want anyone finding out for the longest time) and partly out of dysphoria (I always felt like playing the boyfriend role was forced when I knew I should be the girlfriend to another girl). The fact that my family always bantered and badgered me over why I didn't see anybody (especially coming from my great-grandmother, from 10th grade until the day she died) hasn't helped. Even they expected me to be a groom when I should be a bride, and I've never been married. There may be plenty of fish out there, but there's only one of her.

[Ric]

You could just ask to scissor and see how it goes, can always get another doctor.

[mthor]

26 minutes ago, Real_AirCooledGirl said:

The comparison I made was the best thing I could think of. Alternatively, you could think of going from the prior girls I dated to my hormone doc as going from driving a Ford to driving a Maybach. It's hard to go back.

I've only used one dating site, Zoosk, and even then it was 1) back in my boymode years, 2) a long time ago (late 2000s), and 3) a lot of the women on there didn't seem like my type. There's at least a couple LGBTQ+ spots near me. I might try my luck there at the very least. But I think at least part of me will still have the hots for my doc, damn it. Don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering what could have been. Even if, for argument's sake, something did happen between her and I, I'd imagine we'd keep it a secret. If anyone got wind of us, we could always tell people we're married. If pressed for details, we'd just say we tied the knot at the courthouse; we'd have the excuse of a pandemic to explain not having a proper ceremony with our families and friends in attendance. And we could say we kept our own names intact so it's one less thing to update.

Maybe I'm a little girl looking for a mommy. Maybe I want security and stability in my life, entry into a world I'm not part of but in which I belong. I never quite got that with other girls. Maybe I'm turned on by the thrill of breaking a taboo. But when you're a year into HRT, haven't actively looked for a partner in forever, and fall for someone, you can't help but think they could potentially be The One, regardless of how well you know them. And I have limited experience with the ladies, partly due to Asperger's syndrome (I didn't want anyone finding out for the longest time) and partly out of dysphoria (I always felt like playing the boyfriend role was forced when I knew I should be the girlfriend to another girl). The fact that my family always bantered and badgered me over why I didn't see anybody (especially coming from my great-grandmother, from 10th grade until the day she died) hasn't helped. Even they expected me to be a groom when I should be a bride, and I've never been married. There may be plenty of fish out there, but there's only one of her.

Then you'd better start looking for another doctor, because if you act on this, you're going to completely fracture the physician/patient relationship you now have. 

[GunStarHero]

37 minutes ago, Real_AirCooledGirl said:

The comparison I made was the best thing I could think of. Alternatively, you could think of going from the prior girls I dated to my hormone doc as going from driving a Ford to driving a Maybach. It's hard to go back.

I've only used one dating site, Zoosk, and even then it was 1) back in my boymode years, 2) a long time ago (late 2000s), and 3) a lot of the women on there didn't seem like my type. There's at least a couple LGBTQ+ spots near me. I might try my luck there at the very least. But I think at least part of me will still have the hots for my doc, damn it. Don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering what could have been. Even if, for argument's sake, something did happen between her and I, I'd imagine we'd keep it a secret. If anyone got wind of us, we could always tell people we're married. If pressed for details, we'd just say we tied the knot at the courthouse; we'd have the excuse of a pandemic to explain not having a proper ceremony with our families and friends in attendance. And we could say we kept our own names intact so it's one less thing to update.

Maybe I'm a little girl looking for a mommy. Maybe I want security and stability in my life, entry into a world I'm not part of but in which I belong. I never quite got that with other girls. Maybe I'm turned on by the thrill of breaking a taboo. But when you're a year into HRT, haven't actively looked for a partner in forever, and fall for someone, you can't help but think they could potentially be The One, regardless of how well you know them. And I have limited experience with the ladies, partly due to Asperger's syndrome (I didn't want anyone finding out for the longest time) and partly out of dysphoria (I always felt like playing the boyfriend role was forced when I knew I should be the girlfriend to another girl). The fact that my family always bantered and badgered me over why I didn't see anybody (especially coming from my great-grandmother, from 10th grade until the day she died) hasn't helped. Even they expected me to be a groom when I should be a bride, and I've never been married. There may be plenty of fish out there, but there's only one of her.

Your comparison troubles me because you have not dated this woman. If anything it's coming off like saying she's pretty, smart, and has money and not treating her like she's her own person in this equation. You also appear to have many layers of contingencies for something you haven't even spoken into the world yet. Forgetting all these responses in your thread, it sounds like this woman doesn't even know you fancy her, meanwhile you've formulated how to keep your marriage hush hush should it ever occur and someone also questions it. 

This is all coming off to me as very one-sided. It's superficial attraction. Surface level. How can you love someone you don't know? You are attracted to her for her beauty, her money, and her intelligence. That's not real love, and even if it feels like it to you, you don't seem to be factoring her side into any of this because it's all fulfillment for you. The thought must be maddening to see someone like her and think to yourself that she could bail you out of your current life and propel you to something you've dreamed of, but this does not sound like love to me. She sounds like a catalyst, an ends to a means, to get what you want: a pretty partner with money and a mind to set you up nicely. Nothing wrong with fantasies, but I think you're leaning way too hard into this. If you really want to see what would happen, shoot your shot, ask her straight up. Just know that this will almost guarantee you will stop seeing her as a doctor, whether you are successful or not. Do you know if she's even single or open to a relationship in general? You're playing 20 steps ahead of a daydream here. 

From where I'm at this just comes off as a fun little distraction to get your mind off things and think "what if?" just like a lottery ticket can evoke thoughts of a new, exciting life if you win it big. It does not seem fair for her because it keeps looping back to how it will benefit you and not her. This is not to say you have no benefits to bring to the table, but from what I'm reading this is selfishly putting a lot of things on her shoulders to exclusively provide for you.

If you want any legitimate advice here, then next time you see her, tell her you are thinking about dating but don't know where to start. Mention that she has helped you reach a point in your life where you feel comfortable, or even compelled, to put yourself out there, as a woman, but you could use some help. See if she'll give you any pointers or anecdotes. If she's actually interested in you, she may mention it here, but I will be brutally honest with you right now, I don't think she will be. 

Even so, I'm not you; I'm just a person behind a screen as far as your life is concerned. 

[resurrected]

I think you should tell her you want to eat her ass with a spoon.

You've dragged this shit show on long enough.

Piss or get off the pot.

[1pooh4u]

*cringe*

[resurrected]

2 minutes ago, 1pooh4u said:

*cringe*

I'm embarrassed for her. 

But I want this to play out. 

I want to see just how bat shit crazy this is going to get. 

[scoobdog]

I get where R_ACG is coming from to an extent.  Crushes aren't usually realistic or attainable, not because they themselves are out of reach but because they represent an ideal.  In that respect, idealizing the doctor for her attributes isn't necessarily a bad thing as long as it focuses on attributes like intelligence and personality.  The problem is that she is completely blurring the line between idealism and possessiveness.  No one should have to tell a thirty-five-year-old that her unchecked lust is not more important than the feelings and well-being of her idealized lover.  The fact that she can't seem to testify that indicates issues with impulse control.

[1pooh4u]

[Real_AirCooledGirl]

19 hours ago, scoobdog said:

I get where R_ACG is coming from to an extent.  Crushes aren't usually realistic or attainable, not because they themselves are out of reach but because they represent an ideal.  In that respect, idealizing the doctor for her attributes isn't necessarily a bad thing as long as it focuses on attributes like intelligence and personality.  The problem is that she is completely blurring the line between idealism and possessiveness.  No one should have to tell a thirty-five-year-old that her unchecked lust is not more important than the feelings and well-being of her idealized lover.  The fact that she can't seem to testify that indicates issues with impulse control.

How am I blurring the line between idealism and possessiveness? Nothing I've posted indicates being possessive.

[discolé monade]

19 hours ago, scoobdog said:

I get where R_ACG is coming from to an extent.  Crushes aren't usually realistic or attainable, not because they themselves are out of reach but because they represent an ideal.  In that respect, idealizing the doctor for her attributes isn't necessarily a bad thing as long as it focuses on attributes like intelligence and personality.  The problem is that she is completely blurring the line between idealism and possessiveness.  No one should have to tell a thirty-five-year-old that her unchecked lust is not more important than the feelings and well-being of her idealized lover.  The fact that she can't seem to testify that indicates issues with impulse control.

i don't know, just seems creepy to even engage in telling your doctor you have a crush on them. 

[resurrected]

You should bring your doctor a sweaty steak and burned veggies. 

If that doesn't make her moist, then she's incapable of being aroused. 

[scoobdog]

52 minutes ago, discolé monade said:

i don't know, just seems creepy to even engage in telling your doctor you have a crush on them. 

To say the very least.

[resurrected]

Meh. When I'm ready to catch that second permaban, I know what hill I'm gonna die on. 

[Real_AirCooledGirl]

1 hour ago, resurrected said:

You should bring your doctor a sweaty steak and burned veggies. 

If that doesn't make her moist, then she's incapable of being aroused. 

I guess you saw the pic I took of my 1-year tranniversary dinner, huh? Those veggies weren't burnt. They're BLACKENED--Cajun-style. And I don't know how my doctor likes her steaks but I know I like mine well-done. Fuck the food police; I eat what I like! If it's mooin', I ain't chewin'!

I did bring some chocolate halva with me once. Offered her some; she turned it down. That's fine, more for me. So you know, I made the halva myself and used dark chocolate. Gained a taste for it after I received a Universal Yums box. Every month, they send you a box of snacks from a different country. That month's box had Turkish snacks in it and halva was one of them. I liked it so much that I bought tahini and dark chocolate to make my own halva.

[BlackNoir]

6 hours ago, Real_AirCooledGirl said:

How am I blurring the line between idealism and possessiveness? Nothing I've posted indicates being possessive.

The fact that people tell you it's a bad idea and you retort with How can I go back to ramen after I saw a 5 star restaurant I haven't even eaten in.....Sounds like you've claimed something you haven't touched and consider it yours.

This is just out of context though and that might be confounding some people.....The fact being that she has no clue about your feelings and you have no clue about tact, or simple social decency.

Edited August 11, 2021 by BlackNoir

[bnmjy]

2 hours ago, Real_AirCooledGirl said:

I did bring some chocolate halva with me once. Offered her some; she turned it down. That's fine, more for me.

lol, so you've already been rejected.

[scoobdog]

3 hours ago, Real_AirCooledGirl said:

I guess you saw the pic I took of my 1-year tranniversary dinner, huh? Those veggies weren't burnt. They're BLACKENED--Cajun-style. And I don't know how my doctor likes her steaks but I know I like mine well-done. Fuck the food police; I eat what I like! If it's mooin', I ain't chewin'!

You know only psychos eat well done steaks, right?

[molarbear]

44 minutes ago, scoobdog said:

You know only psychos eat well done steaks, right?

.........

getting really close to that snack there scoob

[Real_AirCooledGirl]

21 hours ago, bnmjy said:

lol, so you've already been rejected.

Can't blame a girl for trying. I love to cook, so that's one thing I can bring to the table.

This afternoon, I told my gender therapist about this. I told them (they're nonbinary, hence the they/them pronouns) about how I've had a crush on my HRT doctor for over two months now and can't get her out of my head. The day I brought that batch of halva with me, though, I didn't mention to her about how I made it myself with dark chocolate. If you want, I can DM you a photo I took of it. I also mentioned how I'm attracted to intelligent women, am looking for security and stability in my life by dating/marrying up, and the whole mommy/little girl thing (similar to the daddy/boy dynamic among some gay men). Last evening, though, after I read GunStarHero's post about this, I actually broke down and cried. Since starting HRT, crying spells have been very rare for me, surprisingly. I told my therapist this, too. And I also brought up fear of rejection as well. I was afraid of being rejected before transitioning and I still am now. I also told my therapist about how I've been considering getting myself out there and dating women as the woman I've always known myself to be but don't know where to start. They suggested I think about what I'd do with any woman I end up dating. That's quite a thing to think about considering my limited dating history. They also gathered that I prefer doing things in-person to using dating sites or apps. I always considered online dating shady because of the potential for catfishers, chasers, and murderous psychos. I told the therapist about how I once used Zoosk but nothing came of it.

All the professionals I'm seeing may each have an incomplete picture of things. The more I tell them about everything, the better.

[Real_AirCooledGirl]

21 hours ago, scoobdog said:

You know only psychos eat well done steaks, right?

[bnmjy]

2 minutes ago, Real_AirCooledGirl said:

Can't blame a girl for trying. I love to cook, so that's one thing I can bring to the table.

This afternoon, I told my gender therapist about this. I told them (they're nonbinary, hence the they/them pronouns) about how I've had a crush on my HRT doctor for over two months now and can't get her out of my head. The day I brought that batch of halva with me, though, I didn't mention to her about how I made it myself with dark chocolate. If you want, I can DM you a photo I took of it. I also mentioned how I'm attracted to intelligent women, am looking for security and stability in my life by dating/marrying up, and the whole mommy/little girl thing (similar to the daddy/boy dynamic among some gay men). Last evening, though, after I read GunStarHero's post about this, I actually broke down and cried. Since starting HRT, crying spells have been very rare for me, surprisingly. I told my therapist this, too. And I also brought up fear of rejection as well. I was afraid of being rejected before transitioning and I still am now. I also told my therapist about how I've been considering getting myself out there and dating women as the woman I've always known myself to be but don't know where to start. They suggested I think about what I'd do with any woman I end up dating. That's quite a thing to think about considering my limited dating history. They also gathered that I prefer doing things in-person to using dating sites or apps. I always considered online dating shady because of the potential for catfishers, chasers, and murderous psychos. I told the therapist about how I once used Zoosk but nothing came of it.

All the professionals I'm seeing may each have an incomplete picture of things. The more I tell them about everything, the better.

I'm very sorry to hear that you cried about Gunstar's post, but it seems you are capable of being brought back to reality. That's a start.

Modern dating sucks, especially with proliferation of dating apps and the like. Rejection and catfishing is part of the game. I really can't give advice about this, as I suck at dating myself, plus I think dating as a trans woman would present some more challenges. I do suggest joining a subreddit on trans dating or another relevant internet forum there, as I'm sure you can find useful advice there. My only advice is to never get your hopes up high over a single person. Rejection hurts, but unrequited love hurts even more.

Good luck.

[scoobdog]

7 minutes ago, Real_AirCooledGirl said:

[Real_AirCooledGirl]

9 minutes ago, scoobdog said:

I don't put ketchup on my steaks. I like them well-done but I never put ketchup on them. I eat them as-is or put hot sauce on them.

[Real_AirCooledGirl]

16 minutes ago, bnmjy said:

I'm very sorry to hear that you cried about Gunstar's post, but it seems you are capable of being brought back to reality. That's a start.

Modern dating sucks, especially with proliferation of dating apps and the like. Rejection and catfishing is part of the game. I really can't give advice about this, as I suck at dating myself, plus I think dating as a trans woman would present some more challenges. I do suggest joining a subreddit on trans dating or another relevant internet forum there, as I'm sure you can find useful advice there. My only advice is to never get your hopes up high over a single person. Rejection hurts, but unrequited love hurts even more.

Good luck.

That's far easier said than done. I get fixated on a single person easily while not considering others. And part of me doesn't want anyone else but said doc, goddamn it. All too often, unrequited love has been an issue for me. There was this one girl I liked back in 9th grade; she turned out to be a right-wing Christian kook, COVIDiot, and anti-vax Karen all at the same time (which I discovered earlier this year). Another girl I liked from 11th to 12th grade, I mentioned in an earlier post here. She was this beautiful biracial girl that I got along well with, but I was always afraid she'd reject me for not being black. I later learned that she was a religious chick, and as an atheist, religious belief is a big turn-off for me no matter what faith or deity it is. And this current girl? I like her so much it hurts despite barely knowing her.

If I'm going to look for a sugar mama, though, I might go where the rich people in my area go. There must be some rich gay, bi, and pan girls around. Bonus points if they like birds because I have a feather-baby myself, a blue-fronted amazon parrot named Ricky.

[bnmjy]

Maybe you should work more towards gaining more trans friends and put love on the backburner for now. I just hope the fact that most MTF trans people are into men isn't offputting for you.

[Real_AirCooledGirl]

10 hours ago, bnmjy said:

Maybe you should work more towards gaining more trans friends and put love on the backburner for now. I just hope the fact that most MTF trans people are into men isn't offputting for you.

My mom, aunt, and gender therapist have all suggested I look into some transgender support groups. Think I might give that a try. But I still want to land a nice girl to settle down with. And at 35, I feel like I have a lot of lost time to make up for. I'm not getting any younger. And believe me, if I'd known as an adolescent in the late '90s and early 2000s that I could have gone on puberty blockers followed by feminems, I'd have transitioned a long time ago already.

[mthor]

20 hours ago, Real_AirCooledGirl said:

My mom, aunt, and gender therapist have all suggested I look into some transgender support groups. Think I might give that a try. But I still want to land a nice girl to settle down with. And at 35, I feel like I have a lot of lost time to make up for. I'm not getting any younger. And believe me, if I'd known as an adolescent in the late '90s and early 2000s that I could have gone on puberty blockers followed by feminems, I'd have transitioned a long time ago already.

There is a silver lining - having adult genitalia is probably going to give you a better outcome on your bottom surgery. Plus, there hasn't been a lot of research done on the long term effects of blocking puberty entirely, so there may be some issues that you avoided. (In fact, there probably are; you can't interrupt a natural process like growth without some consequence. It'll be interesting to see how the kids who've had it suppressed do as they age.)

[André Toulon]

God you're thirsty. How about dealing with the emotional and physical trauma of the transition before becoming a gold digger

 

[naraku360]

On 7/20/2021 at 7:37 AM, Real_AirCooledGirl said:

That may not mean much on its own, but still, you never know.

I don't think I've ever met a doctor with long or polished nails.

Edited August 13, 2021 by naraku360

[Real_AirCooledGirl]

5 hours ago, mthor said:

There is a silver lining - having adult genitalia is probably going to give you a better outcome on your bottom surgery. Plus, there hasn't been a lot of research done on the long term effects of blocking puberty entirely, so there may be some issues that you avoided. (In fact, there probably are; you can't interrupt a natural process like growth without some consequence. It'll be interesting to see how the kids who've had it suppressed do as they age.)

Giving kids puberty blockers isn't new. They've been doing it for cis kids undergoing precocious puberty since 1993. All puberty blockers do is hit the "pause" button on puberty. If you go off the blockers, puberty kicks in right where it left off, no harm done.

[Sawdamizer]

10 minutes ago, Real_AirCooledGirl said:

Giving kids puberty blockers isn't new. They've been doing it for cis kids undergoing precocious puberty since 1993. All puberty blockers do is hit the "pause" button on puberty. If you go off the blockers, puberty kicks in right where it left off, no harm done.

Just want to inform you - @mthor is our resident medical professional here.

 

[naraku360]

28 minutes ago, Real_AirCooledGirl said:

Giving kids puberty blockers isn't new. They've been doing it for cis kids undergoing precocious puberty since 1993. All puberty blockers do is hit the "pause" button on puberty. If you go off the blockers, puberty kicks in right where it left off, no harm done.

Quote

Possible long-term side effects of puberty blockers

Lower bone density. To protect against this, we work to make sure every patient gets enough exercise, calcium and vitamin D, which can help keep bones healthy and strong. We also closely monitor patients’ bone density.

Delayed growth plate closure, leading to slightly taller adult height.  

Less development of genital tissue, which may limit options for gender affirming surgery (bottom surgery) later in life.

Other possible long-term side effects that are not yet known.

This is what she's referring to.

https://www.stlouischildrens.org/conditions-treatments/transgender-center/puberty-blockers

[mthor]

3 hours ago, Real_AirCooledGirl said:

Giving kids puberty blockers isn't new. They've been doing it for cis kids undergoing precocious puberty since 1993. All puberty blockers do is hit the "pause" button on puberty. If you go off the blockers, puberty kicks in right where it left off, no harm done.

In a kid with precocious puberty, yes, it does - they just go off the med and go on living. But there have been no long term studies on kids who've taken puberty blockers and then gone on masculinizing or feminizing hormone therapy; the process hasn't been around long enough to be evaluated that way.