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UnevenEdge

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Posted
2 minutes ago, garbagepailcat said:

I’m going to a Star Wars themed wedding on Saturday. I don’t know shit about Star Wars. 

just tell everyone to "live long and prosper" and you'll be golden.

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Posted
Just now, fuggnificent said:

Did u already buy your suit? I remember buying my bridesmaid dress then getting fat and barely fitting in it lol

we're actually doing the tuxedo rental thing. i'm going for a final fitting / pickup after work. then out for some sushi.

it's probably all gonna be fried rolls and hibachi grill though. these backwoods fellers don't fukwit raw feesh.

Posted
Just now, wacky1980 said:

It wouldn't be right to post pics. And I've never met her in person. But I've seen pics. She's thicc.

you just be the gentleman that you are. be kind and cordial. compliment her on the way down the aisle. 

you will have served well as a groomsman. 

because if the bride finds out you were mean to her bridesmaid. you're life will forever be ridden with scorn and shame. 

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Posted
1 minute ago, discolemonade said:

you just be the gentleman that you are. be kind and cordial. compliment her on the way down the aisle. 

you will have served well as a groomsman. 

because if the bride finds out you were mean to her bridesmaid. you're life will forever be ridden with scorn and shame. 

yeah, i'll be the nice feller i've been trained to be in the presence of a female. my daddy taught me right. plus, i've been in several of these things as a groomsman and best man. people seem to like me...or they like my access to copious amounts of booze.

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Posted
9 minutes ago, discolemonade said:

you should have met me for coffee. i would have explained how a joke works. 

I know the joke I do  have sense humor

Posted
12 hours ago, jackiemarie90 said:

Think of the booze

not only am i thinking of the booze...i'm providing the booze. three kegs of busch light (squirm), one keg of bud light, and one keg each of homebrewed IPA and porter. so we've got about 75 gallons of beer onsite. we tested the setup last night and everything.

also, no camo vests. no vests at all, actually. just a tan suit and a pink tie and some brown shoes. i can live with that.

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Posted
17 hours ago, wacky1980 said:

it's probably all gonna be fried rolls and hibachi grill though. these backwoods fellers don't fukwit raw feesh.

i'm sad to say i was right on this one. we sat around the grill.

one of the guys, who'd never been to a sushi restaurant before, saw a philly roll on the menu and ordered one. you can imagine his disappointment when it wasn't an actual philly steak sandwich.

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Posted
3 hours ago, wacky1980 said:

not only am i thinking of the booze...i'm providing the booze. three kegs of busch light (squirm), one keg of bud light, and one keg each of homebrewed IPA and porter. so we've got about 75 gallons of beer onsite. we tested the setup last night and everything.

also, no camo vests. no vests at all, actually. just a tan suit and a pink tie and some brown shoes. i can live with that.

Tan suit with a pink tie?  Doesn't that clash?

Posted
20 hours ago, discolemonade said:

you just be the gentleman that you are. be kind and cordial. compliment her on the way down the aisle. 

you will have served well as a groomsman. 

because if the bride finds out you were mean to her bridesmaid. you're life will forever be ridden with scorn and shame. 

And HPV.

Posted
1 hour ago, scoobdog said:

Tan suit with a pink tie?  Doesn't that clash?

maybe, yeah. i haven't taken the tie off the hanger yet, but i caught a look at it while doing the final fitting. 

not my wedding, not my problem. :shrug:

 

Posted
On 3/22/2018 at 3:53 PM, wacky1980 said:

It wouldn't be right to post pics. And I've never met her in person. But I've seen pics. She's thicc.

turns out i'm not walking with big mama #1 or #2 (ok let's be honest...#3 or #4 either). it's worse. i'm walking with a moderately attractive crazy ass. first thing she tells me is that she just got a divorce, and her ex has the same first name as me. apparently that's ironic to her... second thing she tells me is that we're skipping up the aisle after the ceremony.

fuck. ass.

she was quick to notice i was wearing a wedding ring. wasn't too thrilled about it either. it's a good thing i'm happily married, because i know i'd be smashing that by this time tomorrow if i wanted to. but no. i really...reeeeeeally want her to latch onto someone else so i don't have to fight her off all night. i'm too old for that shit.

Posted
On 3/22/2018 at 3:31 PM, wacky1980 said:

tan suits? i don't know how i feel about this.

at least there's no camo vests...i think. shit, now i'm concerned.

I never want to be part of a wedding 

Posted
1 minute ago, Still Me said:

I never want to be part of a wedding 

they're not bad, unless you're the best man. then you have shit you're responsible for. as a simple groomsman, you just stand up and follow the leader in a rented suit. and you drink for free. so there's that.

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