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UnevenEdge

are you afraid to die?


Phillies

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I wrote this for one of my stories a couple years ago, and it captures my views on dying.

 

"When you finally meet your demise, will you be dragged by the reaper himself, as you kick and scream and cling to your existence or will you stand tall, push past the angel of death, and lead the way yourself?"

 

After a lot of the things I've been through, I feel more like the person leading versus the person clinging when it comes to death. That being said, I have a weird relationship with my demise. I tried to take my own life on two occasions but was stopped each time. But on the flipside, when I was struck by a car from behind while I was on the sidewalk and thrown into the road, skidding and rolling 10 feet or so, I just hopped back up like nothing happened. Went to see a doctor shortly after and apparently I'm a Tank (always saw myself as Support or DPS, but hey).

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If you have to ask the question, then it probably means you are not ready to die.  It's often framed in terms of fear, but for the most part your instincts tell you not to do things that will put you in immediate harm's way so there shouldn't be any situation where you aren't somewhat afraid of doing something that will cause you grievous bodily harm.  People who have a terminal disease have their own process for coping with mortality.  For everyone else, being "not afraid of death" means having no long-term regrets to stop one from moving on.

 

I find it odd when people talk about death as something you face head on bravely, because it's not something you need to be brave about.  If you believe in an afterlife, then death is more or less like having an alarm clock go off after a full night's sleep.  If you don't, you can't possibly know if everything you done has been enough to make your life meaningful because you wouldn't be around to see it's impact.  Either way, what really is the point of pushing it back to put on a brave face other then to cover the fact that you have some regrets?  Ultimately, no one should be unafraid of death even if they accept it when it happens.

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If you have to ask the question, then it probably means you are not ready to die.  It's often framed in terms of fear, but for the most part your instincts tell you not to do things that will put you in immediate harm's way so there shouldn't be any situation where you aren't somewhat afraid of doing something that will cause you grievous bodily harm.  People who have a terminal disease have their own process for coping with mortality.  For everyone else, being "not afraid of death" means having no long-term regrets to stop one from moving on.

 

I find it odd when people talk about death as something you face head on bravely, because it's not something you need to be brave about.  If you believe in an afterlife, then death is more or less like having an alarm clock go off after a full night's sleep.  If you don't, you can't possibly know if everything you done has been enough to make your life meaningful because you wouldn't be around to see it's impact.  Either way, what really is the point of pushing it back to put on a brave face other then to cover the fact that you have some regrets?  Ultimately, no one should be unafraid of death even if they accept it when it happens.

 

 

Well thats interesting, I think the bravery thing merits further discussion. In order to take ones own life/loose ones own life (the act of it). War or suicide for example. It requires some level of courage to perform (possibly experience even- regardless of choice at that point) this act.

Even someone terminally ill has to have some courage to meet their demise or struggle to continue living- if thats the point, death itself after the act , after the fear requires no further analysis.  The act of dying scares more people I think, especially when it in doubt and the way society views/accepts it. Japanese Kamikaze pilots are revered, suicide in japan even (not war) isn't even shunned upon. Dying in general everywhere gets neglected in modern society as with all spiritual ideals. God is dead at this point. Think if there were a magic button everyone could push anytime they want to painlessly and quickly end their lives. More people would push that button if it were this simple, and also accepted. Doubt also a decision to die if one is needed- the death button I speak of- Courage isn't required, one simply pushes the button- courage is more for dealing with life. 

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I agree on the courage part.

 

The thing about warriors is that bravery is conflated with death in battle, so it's easy enough to suggest that warriors are, in a way, suicidal when they risk death.  That generally runs paradoxically to the notion that the best warriors are the ones that don't go into battle to die.  So the question is - are soldiers courageous for being willing to die to allow others to live or are they courageous for fighting to live in a situation against odds?

 

The point here is that there is perspective to contend with more than any actual distinction.  For a loved one, the idea that his or her family/friend gave up his life for the greater good makes it easier to cope with the idea that person is dead.  There's a fine line when it comes to accepting death, one does not want to believe the loved one willing died and left everyone behind but does not want to believe that loved one got nothing in return for his or her death.  So, we have the narrative that soldiers bravely risked death for others.  But, from the soldier's perspective, it's quite the opposite.  He or she understands that accepting any outcome other than survival ultimately leads to mistakes that impact not just him or her, but the entire unit.  Even in the case where a mission is logically suicidal, the intent is always to maximize the soldier's ability to survive.

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**smokes imaginary cigarette**  Anyone who fights is a soldier.  The definition of fighting is not so obvious.... there doesn't have to be a real tangible enemy. Even the best soldiers  who don't go into battle (and win without fighting) still fight... they didn't develop the knowledge to win without struggle off the battle field. Maybe some tacticians aren't really soldiers.. The best chess players of all time, are they really fighters? What about the best boxers? They are solitary units no? How do we measure merit or struggle?  What about when one member of the unit has to sacrifice himself for whatever reason? The rest of the unit is going to accept this as a casualty of war regardless of the cause. Some members of the unit aren't going to make it, the rest of the unit accepts this either way regardless of the consequences. Victory or defeat they accept.  It doesn't matter- in days to come we will all just be names on a wall for our battles. Most of us no one will remember our names- who knows even who or for how long the rest of society will even think about or accept these losses.

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**smokes imaginary cigarette**  Anyone who fights is a soldier.  The definition of fighting is not so obvious.... there doesn't have to be a real tangible enemy. Even the best soldiers  who don't go into battle (and win without fighting) still fight... they didn't develop the knowledge to win without struggle off the battle field. Maybe some tacticians aren't really soldiers.. The best chess players of all time, are they really fighters? What about the best boxers? They are solitary units no? How do we measure merit or struggle?  What about when one member of the unit has to sacrifice himself for whatever reason? The rest of the unit is going to accept this as a casualty of war regardless of the cause. Some members of the unit aren't going to make it, the rest of the unit accepts this either way regardless of the consequences. Victory or defeat they accept.  It doesn't matter- in days to come we will all just be names on a wall for our battles. Most of us no one will remember our names- who knows even who or for how long the rest of society will even think about or accept these losses.

 

Well, I don't suppose the distinction is made of what is an enemy, but its nonetheless obvious that a fighter is defined by his actions rather than the actions of others.  Thus, the good fighter is the one that perseveres regardless of the enemy.

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No I accepted that when I was little. You die and everything just turns off. Even if you believe in the afterlife your memories and soul are two separate things. The soul wouldn't hold onto any memories because differing thoughts and opinions would be counter intuitive to a peaceful exsistance, despite our views of it being the key defining feature of humanity. 

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Oddly enough, when I was given the (thankfully erroneous) diagnosis of ovarian cancer, my first reaction was panic. Not at the thought of death or suffering, but of all the paperwork...I didn't have a will, couldn't find my health care proxy, had to do FMLA stuff, didn't have a POA...Death would be a lot easier if it weren't for the paperwork.

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Oddly enough, when I was given the (thankfully erroneous) diagnosis of ovarian cancer, my first reaction was panic. Not at the thought of death or suffering, but of all the paperwork...I didn't have a will, couldn't find my health care proxy, had to do FMLA stuff, didn't have a POA...Death would be a lot easier if it weren't for the paperwork.

 

There is always paper work- or a wait. There is no easy way to die.

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