molarbear

This is what we get for not eradicating Crocs fast enough They've evolved and grown natural defenses

Those true crime murder shows *spoiler the person is going to end up murdered in some brutal way

Happy Birthday Dude!

Just tell yourself "I'm not asleep, yet" field studies have proven this method

Someone can't sleep

There's a badass pizza place in Salem that has some mac n cheese pizza

How does one make Almond Milk?

Ya work with what ya got man There are Porn Stars and then there are us common serfs Work it into your routine. Be like "Ya ever seen a Porno?" "I'm in the Field Mouse category on PornHub!" There's a chance you've seen me if you've ever clicked that! I can't put together a joke right now, but, you may steal this and roll with it.

Ankle Socks, and whatever are cheapest because it seems I'm either losing one of their twins or somehow wearing holes in them constantly

Shower poof ball is the way of the future

you should eat some pizza

I use Pandora the most. Especially on commutes, it relaxes me just enough to not yell at someone for being a shitty driver

Grizzly And no, I am not proud of myself

It's kind of bitter sweet. I mean he hasn't done so hot the last couple years but it still sucks to seem him go. At least he got to go out with the team he started his career in the MLB with and in his home Country.

Pssh.... no I use alta vista for that shit

I've clearly gone about my life entirely wrong up until this point

My dick is usually a dick in the morning mainly when I first relieve my bladder and it decides to turn into a nerf octo blaster

I dunno I don't bother to answer my phone if I don't recognize the number

I just pet the dog and zoned out. I think that's how I survived it

I got invited to my friend's wife's one because she says I'm one of her best friends I felt like a stranger in a strange land

I seriously miss this show

Due to my bachelor lifestyle and diet which consists mainly of turkey sandwiches I have to monitor myself somewhat TL:DR went to Dr because I didn't make boom boom for 3 days, Doctor said "Eat a fucking salad you moron" in a very polite way

Meh I generally don't fuck with them but there was a cute girl in college that was all excited to try one. The little reading thing moved a just ever so slightly and she ran out the door screaming. I never heard from her again and it was her Ouija board. When I told my Dad about it it lead to an even funnier story he had about taking a girl on a date to see "The Exorcist" and the girl did the same thing.