Doom Metal Alchemist

Having to look all professional for the office saves the day.

Once as a college student I got sick, I went outside, proceeded to vomit, and then went to the nurse's office. Eventually I had to take a shit, so when I pulled down my pants, there was a huge brown stain in my underwear, apparently I had diarrhea when I was convulsing from vomiting and didn't even know it. I just went "oh well," had more diarrhea (this time in the toilet), then went back to the bed in the nurse's office waiting for my parents to pick me up. So my parents pick me up, we go home, and I already know I had to change my underwear because of what I saw in the bathroom, so I took off my shorts, then noticed the shit stain "bled" all the way through my underwear and shorts. So anybody that saw me during my walk of shame from the nurse's office to my parents' car (there were students EVERYWHERE) could've very well noticed that I shit my pants.

At work?

Well really all pop music is mostly about sex, but most genres' mainstream artists tend to put it in a PG to PG-13 light, while rap tends to put it in a R - XXX light.

Billy Bob Thornton?

I've told you once before.... you bring upon yourself. If you don't want to be a target, then it might not be wise to paint one on your back... and your chest.

Can't tell if you're joking or not... But I was just making a dumb butthole joke and referencing ASMB's favorite fecalphiliac MC_GeeGee.

Don't you mean IN your booty? BAR HAR HAR

Semantics. Really either point of view is pretty much equally valid. But I think a good way to put it to explain what you're trying to get across is that you guys aren't trying to make a profit on us, and it is not really our money you are after. The goal is simply to be able to keep the boards going for us to continue to shitpost in.

I don't know how old you are, but when I was in high school, it wasn't that common for girls to ask out guys anyway. And I was mainly speaking from a male standpoint.

Patoot: Smells like girl farts. Yeah I stole that from Gene Belcher.

Last night during a short break of my 4 hour night class, I went to get a Snickers from the vending machine. The vending machine was broken. The one and only snack machine not located in a building that was locked up after 7:00 PM. Luckily there are soda/water machines right next to it. But I didn't want a drink, I wanted a snack!

I last won the day on February 30th.

I would quote Hotel California here, but I don't know the exact wording.

CDs 4lyfe

Well, if you ever feel that you need a fresh start in life... Australia is the place to be!

I kinda hope you took that to heart and remained completely silent until your drive home.

Freud would have a field day with this.

I saw a stand up on TV once, he goes, "I'm from Brooklyn, New York... which you could tell immediately from my atrocious accent."

Santa has secret Hitler tunnel?

Nah, I really wasn't addressing the "involuntary virgin" part, just the rationale behind guys who probably shouldn't be so picky being really picky.

Those of us who get turned down a lot as adolescents because we are "fat" or "ugly" do the same because our thought process is "if it's ok for girls to turn me down for being fat/ugly, it should be ok for me to turn down girls because they are fat/ugly."

WHO TOLD Y- oh right, yeah it was a knee slapper.

Hitler balloon was a clone. Just POPPED a hole in your theory.

Absolutely. He's on a spaceship with Elvis and Amelia Erheart.