Doom Metal Alchemist

I'm a flapper.

You should've scolded her like, "DON'T LOSE YOUR CHECKS ANYMORE. I'M NOT GOING TO THESE LENGTHS TO HELP YOU AGAIN." or at least semi-jokingly demand a thank-you.

I see no evidence of that in the letter, but then again, it is a very incomplete picture. Only fuggs can tell us for sure. Or at least only fuggs can tell us what he said for sure.

Yeah part of what I was alluding to was he was lying in an effort to gain her sympathy, and wondering what his explanation would be of why they all attacked him.

Making Great Tunes On Water?

...Are you only working there Cinco de Mayo, or is this normal employment that you just happen to be working Cinco de Mayo?

I think he was beaten and stabbed by 16 dudes. I don't claim to know anything about prison culture, but it seems like if 16 dudes decide all at once to beat you and stab you, you'd THINK you would've done something to provoke it, right? Can you imagine 16 dudes just eyeing the courtyard going, "now, which of these dudes should we beat up? Hmmmmmmm..... How about that guy?" I mean for 16 of them there must've been a reason. Could be a really fucking stupid reason, but I'm sure a reason none the less.

The odin comment made me laugh. >_> Though at first reading through the sentence I thought you actually meant the Norse god was furiously storming blood out of her, then I realized you were talking about our dear Odin with Crohns. >_>

Did/does he not have any MALE friends on the outside he could've asked to do that for him?

My dad does that too. He said it's something his manager at work told him to do years ago, and the habit stuck.

Holy shit why????

"Dearest Candy" I'm used to that "Dearest" only from mock civil war soldiers' letters to their wives back home on TV.

It says there's only 1 bidder, so I'm assuming the bidder made an initial bid, then later realized he wanted to make a higher one, and did so. Since no one bid against him, it still says the starting bid because the bidder's bid hasn't been challenged yet.

Having to look all professional for the office saves the day.

Once as a college student I got sick, I went outside, proceeded to vomit, and then went to the nurse's office. Eventually I had to take a shit, so when I pulled down my pants, there was a huge brown stain in my underwear, apparently I had diarrhea when I was convulsing from vomiting and didn't even know it. I just went "oh well," had more diarrhea (this time in the toilet), then went back to the bed in the nurse's office waiting for my parents to pick me up. So my parents pick me up, we go home, and I already know I had to change my underwear because of what I saw in the bathroom, so I took off my shorts, then noticed the shit stain "bled" all the way through my underwear and shorts. So anybody that saw me during my walk of shame from the nurse's office to my parents' car (there were students EVERYWHERE) could've very well noticed that I shit my pants.

At work?

Well really all pop music is mostly about sex, but most genres' mainstream artists tend to put it in a PG to PG-13 light, while rap tends to put it in a R - XXX light.

Billy Bob Thornton?

I've told you once before.... you bring upon yourself. If you don't want to be a target, then it might not be wise to paint one on your back... and your chest.

Can't tell if you're joking or not... But I was just making a dumb butthole joke and referencing ASMB's favorite fecalphiliac MC_GeeGee.

Don't you mean IN your booty? BAR HAR HAR

Semantics. Really either point of view is pretty much equally valid. But I think a good way to put it to explain what you're trying to get across is that you guys aren't trying to make a profit on us, and it is not really our money you are after. The goal is simply to be able to keep the boards going for us to continue to shitpost in.

I don't know how old you are, but when I was in high school, it wasn't that common for girls to ask out guys anyway. And I was mainly speaking from a male standpoint.

Patoot: Smells like girl farts. Yeah I stole that from Gene Belcher.

Last night during a short break of my 4 hour night class, I went to get a Snickers from the vending machine. The vending machine was broken. The one and only snack machine not located in a building that was locked up after 7:00 PM. Luckily there are soda/water machines right next to it. But I didn't want a drink, I wanted a snack!