Mix

nah, america got some generic bullshit...other countries got some fun ones though

Those "campaign contributions" are hittin' - "What kind of fur coat were you looking for?" - "Well, i'm going to wear it at my job, so I want it to say i'm going to work....but not for you. Y'know what I mean?" - "It's 2023 and I work in a fur coat store. I know exactly what you mean."

I'm so sorry. Have you put any thought into that cock reduction surgery we talked about? It'll vastly improve your quality of life and not just because you can go back to wearing regular pants.

Anytime, big guy. Hey, how's your cock? Still huge?

because you're a crazy person. There's nothing wrong with that, btw. You asked and I answered.

This reminds me, I forgot to mention this a while ago, but do you remember back when I forbade you from having that breast reduction surgery. You know, back when you brought that up as an option and I threatened to run for office just to pass a law making it illegal to do such a thing. Well, I want you to know I was wrong. I know I was the only reason you didn't go through with it because my opinion means so much to you and you respect me so much and whatever, but my cousin had the surgery and she's a different woman. Her mood is better, her anxiety has been lifted, her outbursts of anger are gone (which has saved me a lot in bail money). She says it's because she no longer has to deal with the physical strain of carrying those watermelons around, but idk. I'm starting to think women carry a lot of stress and negative vibes in their tits. It's like they're storage sacks for everything that makes you no happy. You gotta get rid of those things. oh, and happy birthday.

He's always husslin'

The bit started with him saying stupid people should have to wear a sign and it basically turned into the things they do are the sign.

Those are both the same scenario.

I'm wearing purple tights, a blouse, and a cape. I'm fucking somebody.

Wise choice

That's a ticket to prison, for sure....

It's a twitch streamer that secretly has a husband, but he beats her so maybe you still have a shot, but really you don't, but keep giving money, ok, bye...

like, who's not picking him he's got that wagon 🤯

This is both funny and an accurate example of what cops actually do when they are afraid for their lives.

First, he wasn't holding him upside down. It was one continuous move. Second, the combination of skill and calm it takes to protect yourself and also not harm your assailant is a lot to expect from a guy working in a restaurant. I mean, cops don't even have that.

We dodged death the same way you dodged jail time for your part in the capital riot.....blood sacrifice.

Wow...who would of thought the time-line where Palin became President would have the last laugh

2 kids, a female little person, and.....chemical X