Mix

Around the world?

Is that why you keep asking to borrow my kite?

The hell is that? Are you building a Stargate?

what exercise helps you put on dick weight?

Everyone's been drunk and afraid to lose something of value. That's where duct tape comes in. Duct tape your wallet to your thigh. Duct tape your phone to your hand. Duct tape your keys to your penis.

I'm going to put out an empty candy bowl with a sign that says, "please take one." I won't get to see the results, but i'll laugh and laugh.....and drink....and contemplate my life......and laugh and laugh

happy birthday, Poof

"The power slap league has seen a higher than normal rate of memory loss among it's participants." What's the normal rate?

one hundred percent for me Is this a competition? Did I win?

I hear that's how Bill Cosby got started.

Car fetish and a foot fetish. Are you single?

I always give them five stars, is that not enough

These Uber drivers are always so fidgety.

That has never seemed more like a slur for little people.

You think they'd use the clip in the movie? I feel like it would be disrespectful not to.

This isn't a thread about private schools. This is a thread about old movies, battle rap, and long held resentment against your family.

Who the hell is mitt romney?

These bars were vicious when I was eleven. I was the only person in my family that went to public school, so I'd go around saying, "you went to Cranbrook, that's a private school." Man, I was so cool back then. That's why my parents sent me to public school. They were like, "this one is too cool to wear a uniform...until he enters the job market with his public school education."

This guy's a gangster? His real name's Clarence. And Clarence lives at home with both parents. And Clarence's parents have a real good marriage.

What's the matter, dawg? You embarrassed?

World = Shattered

Did you know Good Will Hunting was originally about cannibalism? The original title was Good Will Hunting Humans. - "Do you like apple sauce?" - "Yeah." - "I could tell. Your leg is delicious, by the way."

You're still going to court over that streaking incident? That should of been a slap on the wrist. Sure, not everyone streaks at a church during a funeral, but we all grieve in our own way. You let me know if you need a character witness.