Mix

Joe Biden is a wild boy.

You should feel.....her sitting on your face.

Like, they try to convince you that you're the only guy they're fucking. - "My husband hasn't touched me in years." - "Listen, I don't care if you're fucking your husband or anyone else. That has nothing to do with this." - "oh" - "Yeah, I'm not a good guy. You know that, right?"

and how many arms do they have?

I...don't think you're allowed to ask that question. At the very least, i'm not allowed to answer it. This feels like a trap. A booby trap. I'm in trouble, aren't I?

In my defense, you're a lot smarter now. I mean, you were married back then.

Do you think you'll ever get married again or nah? I'm fascinated by people who have been married multiple times. I like listening to them explain how they've "figured it out."

You know, right away, what their partner was into. You're getting the same moves. - "so, uhhh...you're like, super into butt play?" - "I was trying to help you finish." - "Oh, you were doing that for me?" - "Yeah, the prostate is like the male g-spot." - "idk, I was doing pretty good before a finger went up my ass. If anything, it's a trick for lasting longer. That shit improved my time." - "oh, shit. haha." - "hehe...on an unrelated note, I like to cry in bathrooms from time to time. It has nothing to do with this, so don't you spare it a second thought. Just something I gotta do...right now >.>"

Yeah, that's how garage sales work, lady.

huh...Smaug was right.....they were asking for it

They were mining jewels. You think Elon's dad cleaned up after himself? No, he was too busy mining jewels and hooking up with family members. Jewel wealth frees you from the constraints that bind the rest of us. The seven dwarfs should of had a maid and A BIGGER HOUSE.

but Santa and his "elves"...that's just fine??? There's some magic little people have that blinds you to slavery. The Seven Dwarfs were mining for jewels, but the home Snow White cleaned for them looked pretty broke down. Where was all this jewel wealth going?

With it looking how it looked (and the fact it was in Alabama), is there any chance they weren't racist, but just assholes?

That guy was my favorite character in this soon-to-be folk tale. Unfortunately, he was too measured for the internet. He arrived at the dock during intermission, found the old dude walking around, and saw no need to do anything unnecessary. Had he came out of the water and just laid someone out, there would be no end to the memes.

You guys are as dumb as that lady if you think he still doesn't have those dogs.

The guy with the chair has gotten a surprising amount of support. Even in the moment, no one was trying to stop him from wailing on that guy with a steel chair, not even the cops. He had achieved batman status. He was not the hero they deserved, but the hero they needed. Right up until he gave that lady instant CTE. Then they realized this motherfucker was too crazy to be batman. He was The Punisher.

Sometimes prison changes a person for the better.

Hornshire, buddy, when did they let you out? or...did you escape? You know what, it doesn't matter. Welcome back, homie......you don't still remember where I live, do you? 'cause I moved....so, no need to come by or anything...

Jumping the old guy was wrong, but sticking around for the riverboat to dock was stupid. The one guy on the riverboat who could swim made his way over. That was your second warning. The hat was the first.

When I told my sister about this, she said without hesitation, "stop calling me. I hate you."