Mix

That's was funny af Bill Hader and these old men characters are perfection Have you seen the ones where he plays the old reporter? Fucking perfection There's this scene where he's yelling at the anchor about how the guy who had his job before him would be rolling in his grave if he could see this now and the guy says "no he wouldn't...they cremated him" and bill goes "they burned my friend" all sad and shit....it's hilarious

you were truly blessed with a heavenly bounty it's in these moments that you truly witness a spark of the divine....you with your flying cuts of meat and me with my perfectly timed joke that no one in that wendy's found funny and in fact thought I was an idiot as I cracked up while trying to hold a straight face like Fallon in an SNL sketch

oh, so people were putting aloe gel and essential oils in it.....I just poured it on my hands Do you think it's the aloe or the essential oils that make the hand sanitizer taste so good? Or at the very least, better than the Titos.....

And I got in right before the crazy lines

Woah, what's wrong with Tito's? I had to use it because I drank all my hand sanitizer

Laugh my friend....don't let them take that from you

Saw it from the outside as I was walking in and I did the best thing I've ever done....walked right through the middle of it like it wasn't happening....walked right up to the counter and said "I'll have what they're having" Kept a straight face for a whole 30 seconds...

He was exposed to the virus when he was treating patients and he succumbed a few weeks later.... what was weird is how he was treated by the gov and media in the interim....it's was hella shady

Who ever is in that white SUV must of been on their way to get pussy or drugs. I'm talking really good drugs.....or pussy......but probably drugs That's the only thing that I can think of, 'cause if I was going grocery shopping or some shit and I saw guys in hazmat suits chasing a dude during a viral epidemic, i'd turn my ass around and go the fuck home.

Yeah, it does seem like hard work... On the plus side, you get to eat six times a day and custom order your clothes from Big and Tall's specialty department, Bear and Such....it's where circuses buy outfits for their dancing bears and other such animals

Pretty sure that's already sitting comfortably in a vending machine somewhere in Japan

You're standing on my foot

Not gonna lie I was like, "divorced already???" you crazy kidz and your state sponsored religious contracts

dis dat new new

You sure? Think of all the practical applications of being able to lift half a ton.....you sure you wanna give that up?

Perspective

Bar, shake, whole live chicken.......jus put da protein in ya body an' lift dem weights

The king is dead, all hail the king

Five seconds straight

You still owe me money, Jimmy! Don't think i've forgotten!