Mix

Why......would you do that to yourself

It was so terrible

he dead

You try to fix these things? one time a laptop said it's memory was full and I just got a new laptop >.<

#6 Lions aren't the king of the jungle for the simple reason that they don't live in the jungle.

nope

#5 There has never been a school shooting during summer school.

#4 Tears aren't salty if you're hydrated

#3 President Taft didn't get stuck in his bath tub. That story wasn't possible since Taft had a custom made seven foot long, forty one inch wide, solid porcelain tub.

#2 It's not stripping if no one pays you

#1 It takes approximately 2.5 pounds of pressure to imprint the perfect stamp

I hope that guy gets whatever he was hoping for......fame, money, pussy........dick....whatever he hoped would be the result of putting this out

MFKZ [5 out of 5]

If it keeps happening from job to job I gotta assume it's him....maybe he's hot a hate-able quality to him

NiNokuni [3 out of 5] It's not bad, it's not good. It helped pass the time.

Don't take a picture of me in my lounging about dirty t-shirt....wait for me to put on my going out dirty t-shirt

hell yeah you'll be fine

And you just went on a cruise? That's some baller ass shit... "Yeah, I'm gonna need you to push it till the end of the month.....yeah, i'm serious.....'cause mama's goin' on a cruise to look at butts on the Caribbean, that's why! Yes, I know I said i'd stop yelling at you because it makes you cry, but like I keep telling you, this is my normal speaking volume, you just need to make some black friends. No, the nurses don't count. Yes, invite your neighbor to the pot luck. Why haven't you done this already? What do you mean you weren't sure what color bandanna to wear? You know what, I don't have time for this....I gotta practice my -oops I dropped something that requires me to bend over slow- move for the cruise...."

oh shit.....uhh, it's not actually my birthday....I was over-committing to a bit where I tried to convince Poof I was 76 years old But thanks anyway....

Thanks, man. 76 years young and taking things day by day

I forget what nature show it was that I was watching, but they were breaking down the evolutionary advantages of cats as predators and how it was no different with bigger cats. Across the spectrum they just made adjustments to suit their respective sizes but all the cats are pretty much the same thing. Then I learned that alligators have remained unchanged since the cretaceous.... Then I learned that octopus may be aliens... Then I ran out of weed.... Then I took a nap

uh huh that doesn't really answer my question, but good to know

Ok, i'm glad I waited for other people to weigh in and establish the tone we're supposed to adopt on this one... Little more serious that i'm used to, but we can't joke about murder....or witnessing it? right? Right, of course....dumb question This was an awful thing and I hope you can get passed it and...yeah