Mix

never take me seriously I'm a guy who made a list of jokes as options of things to say as I lay dying I'm a guy who pretended to be deaf or blind for the entire first day of every new school I attended (5, 6 if we're counting highschool) I'm a guy who got his dick pierced for a joke.........turns out the joke was on me I'm a guy who is actually a girl.....i'm a girl.....I've been lying to you all for years.....why.....why not I'm a guy who just lied to you

memba the days when the shit was illegal and every now and then all the dealers would run out and you'd call everyone you knew like it was the end of the world simpler times, them was

i'm gonna miss you

nah, just dickin' around....

-They closed down the gyms today. I demanded they be re-opened but they hahahahahahaha jk I bought a ton o booze -I took enough liquids and herbs to insure that my body was not suitable for viral infestation -Spent thirty minutes putting pressure on my thumb because the blood moving under the nail looked like a lava lamp -Watched Natural Born Killers -Took more herbs as I was left disconcerted by the movie and thought this would help.............it didn't -Paranoid, I took a bath to sooth myself..........The walls were closing in, I thought I was going to die -took a short nap......woke up six hours later Quarantine is fun guys !

These rich muffukkas are gonna be fine Handle yo shit and stock up on toilet paper

Welp, looks like people have already started forming bands of reavers.....

I wouldn't fall asleep if I were you

I don't even know if i've ever seen someone intentionally make movies like Riki O or The Room....good bad movies are rare happy accidents

Blood of Mix Pros: - You can run your car on it Cons: - (see pros)

Happy birthday you so and so

your breakdown was so much more entertaining than the real thing....I wish I read it before I tried to watch it All I read was "GYMKATA!" and I thought that sounded familiar (turns out it's Ken Block's drifting series), so I checked out the trailer....gymnastics and karate, what could go wrong....went right to the movie, couldn't even finish it....it was so bad, I watched Raging Bull as a palate cleanser How do you get through these?

I was laughing till I realized i'm about to run out of toilet paper.....down to my last two rolls.....if the store is sold out, I'm just gonna go into the walmart bathroom and stock up.....this is no fuckin' joke

oh, is that what that is? I thought it was the air conditioning >.>

let me paint you a picture....you ever watch Freakazoid? Remember how his hand talked and had it's own personality and storyline? yeah, i'm seeing a therapist

I just need an on switch and an off switch..... All week I couldn't work for five minutes without getting distracted, I was so god damn horny.... I was bargaining with it, "look man, just hold out till the end of the week, alright. I promise it won't be like last time. Just calm the fuck down" Shitty week goes by and today i'm finally about to get this stress relief in and......nothin' Me: "we're getting laid, this is what you wanted" Dick: "yeah, I guess" Me: "what the fuck do you mean, I guess!" Dick: "nah, nah, it's good. Good for us. Lets go get laid" Me: "you don't seem excited" Dick: "no, i'm excited....just wake me up when we get there" Me: "you son of a **** **** *** ********" I'm gonna take a nap

yeah, that's stupid....if anything, you should eat more ass......we're all 'bout to die, time to really get loose

my friend used to hit the window locks in the car before he farted so none of us could escape This is why men are in charge