Mix

Just me? Them wuz the days

I went to a stand up show in someone's apartment. You'll be fine.

*fixed

Pick me illuminati! Pick me!

lmao, more like, "are you coming onto me, Mr. President" I always thought he got good at that eye brow raise by doing it to girls....I thought that because that's what I do

You gotta time it right....you'll have to deal with Kanye in 2024

@Admin_Raptorpat @midnight @Kehotik @empty

Where they joke about being running mates while running on treadmills.... And in a sane world that joke would be funny because it could never happen....a celebrity tandem in the white house....but no Dwayne The President The Rock Johnson is a completely realistic future path we could be on right now....that's what's funny I can't remember who said this but I remember hearing, "we tried a black president, we tried a rich president, and now I think we should try a strong president.....someone with the raw physical power needed to beat other world leaders down" i'm just waiting for the drugs to kick in

@Geegeepeepee

I'm the ghost of Christmas past I also sell insurance. Are you in good hands?

Is there a famous men's strip club? Pretend I posted that as an example of who's hiring MIX Brand Jokes and Joke Accessories are brought to you by MIX LLC Some assembly required All offers and coupon codes valid till inevitable autoerotic asphyxiation related coma and or death

High Fidelity Eps 1-10

I'm gonna be the little spoon

- It's not a tumor - Old ladies aren't so tough without their cars - Kindergarten is like the ocean. You don't want to turn your back on it

- tattooing a dollar sign on your ball sack just so you can tell girls to "secure the bag," only works for rappers

- Kidnapping is still illegal even if you bring them back

Viper said there would be days like this

Little girl alone on the boardwalk Tethered

Read that sentence out loud... Do you see why you would die first in a horror movie scenario? You're worried about arms when a six foot tall inanimate thing just came to life....meanwhile ponytail realized in a split second that the end times are nigh, went full on commando, rid himself of everything that could slow him down and made for his bunker that Sharon said was a waste of money....Well guess what Sharon! I'm gonna live to piss on your zombie bones, bitch!

Punch the evil snowman = tough Leaving your child behind to save yourself = not so tough That kid did not react like this is his/her first time seeing daddy hit somebody

IT'S A TRAP

nothings original everything is built on previously laid foundations our lives are a lie