The_annoying_one

Likes to call people on the phone and just breathe heavily.

Watches Pornhub for the stories.

Plays Hopscotch with Mr. Hoonie every Saturday afternoon.

Eats his peas one at a time.

Likes to take an Uber to the bus stop, then takes the bus to his destination.

Homemade Hamburger Helper

His alarm sound is The Chipmunk Song.

I panic-bought something from Amazon last night at 3 AM because I lost the one I had. I finally found the missing item this afternoon and the bastards at Amazon won’t let me cancel my order. There goes almost $20 I really didn’t need to spend…

Wants a hippopotamus for Christmas.

Why do I keep trying to use electric razors when I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they have never worked for me? I mean, it was just pure laziness today, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that I even bought the thing.

Happy birthday, JeNewBee.

Yakuza: Like A Dragon

Money is tied to happiness, at least to a degree.

Drove to Wyoming and told the first woman he saw that his elbows were magical.

A couple of tuna sandwiches.

Thanksgiving is next week, I have no plans (that I know of), and I couldn’t possibly give less of a fuck.

Came up with an idea for a gourmet cooking show where everything has to be cooked in the microwave.

Tried out for “Survivor”, but was kicked off the show for calling Jeff Probst a punk ass bitch.