The_annoying_one

Of course both ends of my street would be completely blocked off by maintenance people on a day when I’m expecting a really important delivery. Why would this happen on literally any other day?

Wears an eye patch, but only when cooking dinner.

It’s always fun to revisit music you used to love, only to realize just how bad it really was. It’s still nostalgic, though, so I can’t completely hate it.

Convinced Mr. Hoonie to streak through Yankee Stadium in the dead of winter.

Chili dogs & baked beans.

Piggybacking on this one, I just had someone call me a MAGA because I disagreed with them on something that had absolutely nothing to do with politics. I’m kind of giddy right now.

Framed Maggie Simpson for the shooting of Mr. Burns.

One accidental missed payment really shouldn’t completely nullify my payment information which has not fucking changed.

Auditioned for the role of the pizza guy in a few of those smut movies.

Went to the store and replaced all the butter with lard.

Throws birthday parties for stuffed animals.

I’m utterly addicted to bottom-of-the-barrel B-movie slashers. It’s a sickness and I don’t want the cure.

I guess corn dogs again. That’s pretty much my only option until I can get some food in this house.

Goes to bed every night with a pacifier on his nightstand, but never uses it.

Will only eat hamburger buns with the crust side down.

I canceled Disney+ months ago because I never watched it. These motherfuckers are still emailing me at least once a week, just begging me to come back with the allure of reduced prices. I find this more hilarious than irritating.

I just found my neighbor’s little indoor cat roaming around outside in below freezing temperatures. Texted my neighbor to let her know. She says “Okay”. I wait at least 20 minutes and she never comes out to look for it. This is officially not my problem anymore. If you want to let the poor little guy freeze, that’s on you. EDIT: Crisis averted. The cat is home and safe now. Maybe I will actually sleep tonight.

Hoards Taco Bell’s fire sauce just to squirt it in people’s eyes.

Corn dogs